Words
by emd4v15
Summary: What if Cal and Gillian got married and Cal wanted to have a child but Gill was too scared to try again? How would they deal with their feelings? Who would end up getting their way?
1. Four Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

This is my first Lie to Me fic, and my first fic in a long time. Procrastinating from thesis-writing so I knocked this up quickly. Unbeta'd, sorry!

Cal was sitting on the couch reading quietly. He'd finished his report on a case at work earlier, but had to leave early to go to the Doctor with Gillian, so had left proof-reading it until now.

He looked up at smiled at her when she entered the room, turning his attention back to the report when she sat down next to him, her head on his shoulder and her legs tucked up underneath her. It was clear she didn't want to talk, she jus t felt like snuggling for a little while. After a few minutes, though, Cal put the report down and gave Gill his full attention.

"How are you feeling, love?" he asked her, his arm wrapping around her shoulders as he kissed the top of her head affectionately.

"Okay," she replied quietly, snuggling in closer and resting her hand on the top of Cal's thigh in the process.

"You sure about that?" Cal asked gently, his fingers moving to run through her hair.

"Mmhmm..." she replied, lifting her head long enough to kiss him on the shoulder. After some careful consideration she spoke again. "The hope and excitement sort of cancel out the fear and anxiety," she said.

"Fear?" Cal asked quizzically, his eyebrow quirking. He m006Fved his head to get a better look at her face.

Gill hesitated briefly, finally bringing her eyes to meet Cal's before she spoke. "Fear that it won't work," she said. "Or that it will and then we'll lose it. Or that it will tear us apart the way it did with Alec and I," she admitted, the vulnerability evident in her voice and body language as tears filled her eyes, threatening to spill over.

"Oi," Cal said softly, carefully pulling her onto his lap and pressing a kiss to the side of her eye. "Look at me," he said, waiting for her to comply before he continued. "Nothing could ever tear me away from you," he said. "I love you. We're in this together, no matter what happens. At the end of the day you'll have me. I know you want more, and we'll try, but I just want you to know I'm not going anywhere."

Gillian opened her mouth to argue and Cal silenced her with a kiss. "No," he said. "Stop over-thinking it. The doctor said the new medication is helping, and that part of the reason you were having trouble before was because of Alec. You just need to relax and let nature take its course, right?" He'd been going to joke about his 'little swimmers' having a proven track record, but didn't think that would help at the moment- then Gill would just blame herself more if things didn't work out, and she'd be reminded that Cal had with Zoe what she may never have with anyone.

Gillian nodded slowly, obviously still unsure even as Cal reached up to stroke her cheek lovingly.

"Just relax," he repeated soothingly, touching his lips to hers in a tender kiss.

They fell back into a comfortable silence then, each lost in their own thoughts. Gillian was the one who eventually broke it. "Cal?" she said softly, uncertainty still tinging her voice.

"Yes, love?" he replied, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Let's make a baby," she said with a smile, her voice more confident than it had been before as she twisted slowly so she was straddling his lap, then kissed him sweetly on the lips.

Cal was the one who broke the kiss a second or two later. Smiling broadly at his wife and best friend, he stole another peck on the lips and repeated the four words he'd waited for over a year to hear her say. "Let's make a baby."

Author's Note: So, what do you think? This was going to be the end, but if I get some feedback I might continue with it.


	2. No Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Thanks for the feedback! Here's a new chapter, and we'll see how it goes from there. I'm not into the idea of holding chapters for ransom and saying I need x number of reviews before I'll post another, but I would like to see that at least someone's interested in reading more before I take the time to write another.

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_15 months earlier...._

It was early evening when Gill arrived back at their hotel room. She and Cal had flown back to the West coast, where she was from, to get married with her family present. They'd chosen not to stay with her parents so that her brother, his wife and children could stay there, giving the kids more room to run around and play than they'd have had in a hotel room.

Preparations for the wedding were taking their toll on Gill. Yes, it was her second marriage, but that didn't change how much she loved Cal (or weddings, for that matter!) and how badly she wanted the day to go perfectly. When he'd woken up at 5am to go to the bathroom and Gill was awake and sitting at the small desk in the room stressing over the plan again he'd insisted she take a day for herself. He gave her his PIN and his credit card, then told her she wasn't to come back until she'd relaxed and enjoyed herself.

After some careful consideration, Gill had found herself at a day spa. She wondered if having a manicure, pedicure and facial so she'd look good for the wedding would count as going against Cal's wishes, but she'd decided to go ahead and do them anyway. Then, to be sure she was following orders, she'd thrown caution to the wind and had a full body massage. She never treated herself to things like that. By the time she was done she was looking and feeling incredible. On her way back to the hotel she'd stopped and spent some of her own money, picking up some shoes and then making a trip to an upscale lingerie shop to make some purchases for her to take on their honeymoon- after all, Cal deserved to be treated, too!

"Cal?" she called out softly as she stepped into the hotel room, juggling the bags of shopping she'd bought. No response. Strange. She frowned then shrugged it off, putting her things down and then settling down with a book to wait.

It was dark when Cal finally arrived and, truth be told, Gillian had been worried. "You're back!" she exclaimed as he walked in the door, wrapping both of her arms around him and holding him tightly.

"Hello, darling," he chuckled quietly, holding her close.

"I missed you," Gill murmured, kissing his neck softly. "I was worried."

"I'm sorry," Cal apologised, rubbing her back soothingly. "Did you have a nice day?" he asked. Just holding her he could feel the tension in her body had dissipated since she'd left that morning.

"Yes. Thank you," she replied, leaning back to give herself room to kiss him on the lips. "You know just what I need, Dr. Lightman," she smiled.

"I do pride myself on that," Cal grinned, returning the kiss. "Give me a minute to change, then we can go and grab some dinner?" he suggested, letting go of her and moving further into the room and over to his suitcase. He opened it and pulled out a shirt, taking his old one off and dropping it on the bed.

"Cal! What happened?!" Gill exclaimed, noticing a large white dressing on the inside of his left bicep.

"Ah," Cal said, glancing down at it. "S'why I was late," he said, picking up the clean shirt.

"Wait! What happened?" she asked, walking over to him with a concerned expression on her face and touching the dressing lightly. "Let me see, honey," she encouraged softly.

Cal smiled. Gill was so caring and attentive. He knew she was going to make a brilliant mother. "Careful!" he said, pulling his arm away. "It's your wedding present," he informed her.

Gill looked at him, clearly confused. "My what?" she asked. How could Cal being hurt be a present for her? That was the last thing she ever wanted to happen.

Cal's smile grew as he took in her expression. "Your wedding present," he repeated, reaching up and carefully removing the dressing to reveal a brand new tattoo. The ink was an intricate pattern in fine black lines, and Gillian's name was worked into it beautifully.

"Oh! Cal!" Gillian gasped softly, reaching out to touch it, then stopping herself before she made contact. "Honey, it's beautiful," she said, studying it closely. "I don't even know what to say... Thank you." Her eyes lingered on it a while longer before she raised her hand and pointed to a blank banner in the design. "What's this?" she asked curiously.

"A promise," Cal replied. "I know how much you've always wanted children of your own, and I wanted to show you I'm committed to that, too. I want to have a family with you, Gill, and I don't care if we adopt or if the baby is biologically ours or not. You're going to make an amazing mother and any child would be lucky to have you in their life."

Gill's facial expression changed a few times then. It went from confusion to surprise, then to sadness before she could keep it under control. She looked at Cal hesitantly then, unsure of how to proceed.

Cal's heart sank. That wasn't quite the reaction he'd been hoping for. "Gill?" he questioned gently.

The brunette shook her head. "I can't, Cal," she told him softly, her eyes filling with tears.

"Hey," Cal replied soothingly, wrapping the arm that didn't have the tattoo on it around her shoulders. "I didn't mean to upset you, love," he apologised. "It's not about that. You'd make beautiful babies, and I can't imagine anything more perfect than a little you walking around our house, but I don't need that to be happy. Another child will never replace Sophie, but we can adopt one together. You and me."

Gill shook her head as the tears began to fall. "I can't," she repeated. "I can't go through that again. I can't keep having my heart broken over this, it hurts too much, Cal," she said desperately. "I don't want to try to have a family with you."

Cal felt like Gill had picked up a knife and stabbed him right in the heart. He wanted a family with her more than anything else, and deep down he'd been sure that's what she wanted too. He stood in stunned silence, unable to move or speak for quite some time. When he was finally able to move he looked down at the ink on his arm and his eyes fell to the empty banner. Like the banner, he had no words.


	3. Those Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Thanks for the new reviews- good encouragement to keep going :) Another chapter, but a shorter one this time.

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Cal wasn't sure he could handle this. Gill had tried for a baby for years with Alec, but with him she wasn't even willing to consider it. The fact that he really wanted another child- one that he had with Gillian- aside, her refusing to entertain the thought brought a lot of insecurities to the surface.

Why was Gill willing to try with Alec and not with him? Cal had done drugs in the past, but that was in his late teens and early twenties, and he'd never been an addict. He had a stable income- a good one, if he was completely honest- and was more than capable of providing for a child. For all of them, really. He'd never expect her to, but if she wanted to stay home with the baby he could easily manage to keep them comfortable. His family....

Was Alec really better father material than him? That thought brought a knot to his stomach. Gill knew what he was like with Emily. Maybe he really was the terrible father he feared he'd become. That sort of judgment from Gill would really hit him where it hurt the most. He worked a lot, but at the end of the day Emily was his life. She was the best thing that ever happened to him, and that's why he'd wanted so badly to share that with Gill. He loved her, and he wanted to share that love with another child. Adopted or biological, he'd love and protect that little person, and he knew that Gill would nurture it and give it all of the affection it would ever need. She wouldn't even _try_. That's what was getting to him. If they tried and failed at least they'd have been able to look back and say it just wasn't meant to be.

"Cal?" Gill said uncertainly. He'd been silent for several minutes now, and it worried her. It wasn't the usual comfortable silence they enjoyed, it was almost suffocating... or maybe that was the fact that she hadn't realised she was holding her breath. She'd never seen him like this before. Even reviewing footage of his mother's interview he'd still talk to her, acknowledge her somehow.

"Cal?" she repeated his name, and this time it was obvious she was scared. Not of Cal, of course, but of how this was affecting him. She swallowed nervously. "Please don't shut me out. Say something. Anything."

Cal looked into blue eyes, and even while his own heart was breaking he couldn't bear to see her hurting. "I should check in with work," he said, managing to get himself together enough to pull on that mask he'd spent so many years crafting. The one that Gillian herself admitted even people with deception training had a hard time seeing through. The one that would have fooled her had she not known that just seconds before he was anything but calm.

"It's almost 11pm in D.C," she reminded him.

"What better way to see if they're really coping?" he asked, forcing the smirk that usually came so easily to him. He moved away from her to pick up the phone, and a tiny part of her wondered if he'd ever move back. It was stupid to call now, but she let him do it.

"They've gone home," he reported when no one answered.

She looked at him, 'I told you so,' written all over her face, and it got to him.

"Hey, I have to be able to care about something I've nurtured with you. God knows it's the only thing I'll have a chance to," he said defensively.

The look on her face the second he'd said it made him wish those words had never left his mouth.


	4. Borrowed Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Wow, you guys have been great with your feedback! I've tried to write back to everyone to say thanks, and I apologise if I've missed you. These are coming to me pretty quickly at the moment, even if they're only short. Also, I edited this after I published it the first time- I realised I'd made a few tiny mistakes.

**_WARNING: Spoiler for 'Blinded' (Season 1 Episode 12)_**

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Gill stared at Cal like he'd just slapped her in the face. His words had stung her enough that she almost wished he had.

"I...I..." she stammered. He'd never spoken to her like that. They'd argued in the past, but he'd never said anything that she thought might actually have been designed to hurt her. It was then she knew for sure that this was really going to be a problem for them.

"I'm sorry, love," Cal apologised, slouching even more than usual. He was genuinely remorseful. "That was uncalled for."

Gillian nodded slightly in acknowledgement, but kept her mouth closed. What could she say? She wasn't going to tell him it was alright. It wasn't. People say things they don't mean when they're upset, and they should be forgiven, but that doesn't mean their actions were acceptable.

"I think I'll go for a bit of a stroll," he told her quietly, carefully replacing the bandage on his arm before pulling the clean shirt on. He did his best to hide the wince when the gauze touched the tender skin there.

"What about dinner?" Gill asked. Food was the last thing on her mind at the moment, but she didn't want him to leave. She knew what Alec had gotten up to when he'd gone out like that, and while Cal wasn't a drug addict, he was enough of a bad boy to be able to get himself into some serious trouble... or at least blind drunk.

"Not hungry," Cal told her solemnly. "You right to get yourself room service or something? I don't want you on the streets by yourself at night."

"But it's alright for you to do it?" Gillian asked indignantly. Why did he always do that? There was such a double standard sometimes! They'd argued about it in the past, when she'd almost been abducted by Andrew Jenkins' copycat. Cal thought it was alright for him to be in dangerous situations, but as soon as the slightest hint of trouble came Gillian's way he freaked out.

Cal stopped and looked at her for a few seconds, biting his tongue and slowly counting down from ten to stop himself from retorting. They were both upset, and this could very easily escalate into an all-out fight. He refused to get into a shouting match with her- it would only end up hurting them both. He had to stop and remind himself that the reason he was upset was because he loved her and wanted to start a family with her. It was OK to be upset, or even angry, but he didn't want to hurt her.

He did up his buttons before he spoke. "You hit me for a six," Cal said. "I need to clear my head a bit."

'_....Hit me for a six?' _Gill thought, frowning. _'What are you talking about?' _The cricket metaphor was lost on her, but the implied meaning was there- she'd caught Cal off guard with her stance on starting a family. She couldn't say she blamed him. In all the years they'd known each other the thing she'd wanted most was a child of her own. It hadn't been an easy decision for her to make, but at the end of the day she thought it was what was going to be best for her. And for Cal. "Promise me you'll be safe?" she requested softly. She knew arguing with him and trying to convince him to stay was pointless. The harder she fought, the more he'd push her away.

" 'Course I will," Cal assured her. "I'll be on my cell."

Gillian looked at him sadly then. He knew she only ever stopped there when she was really mad at him. There was meant to be a second half to that assurance when she offered it to him. He'd called her on it in the past, so it wasn't like it had gone unnoticed.

Cal chewed his bottom lip briefly, squinting slightly at her. He knew what she was expecting, and he couldn't bring himself to deny her. "I'll be on my cell," he repeated. "If you need me."

They weren't much, but Gill took some comfort in his borrowed words.


	5. Slurred Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Thanks again for the feedback! I've had a request for longer chapters or more frequent updates. I can't promise either, but I'll try :)

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Gillian awoke with a start, the sound of her cell phone ringing disturbing the fitful sleep she'd been in. She never slept well without Cal next to her anymore, and a quick feel around with her arm confirmed he had not come to bed. She glanced at the glowing red numbers on the clock beside the bed. 2:43AM. Who could it be? Cal would know better unless he was in serious trouble. She hoped he wasn't, but if she was honest with herself it wouldn't surprise her if he was.

"Foster," she said, answering the phone and attempting to sound less groggy (and, admittedly, irritated) than she felt.

"Gill?" came the concerned voice from the other end.

"Emily?" Gill replied, instantly more alert. Emily wasn't due to fly in for the wedding for a few days, which meant it was now 6:43... No, 6:44AM local time. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked, instantly concerned. "What are you doing up so early on a Sunday?" She didn't remind her that it was the middle of the night on the other side of the country. It didn't matter to her what time of day Emily called, she loved Cal's daughter and would always be there for her no matter what.

"Dad's not with you?" Emily replied. It was half question, half statement.

"No," Gillian said, frowning and sitting up in bed. How was she going to explain this to Emily? She didn't want to lie to her if she could avoid it. The relationship they'd had in the past had been built on trust and honesty. Gillian had only lied to her once, to prevent Cal from having to do it, and the rest of the time she'd always tried to be straight forward with her and treat her like the young woman she was becoming. It was part of what made Emily turn to her when she needed something- she knew she would get an honest answer, and that Gill would never, ever judge her. She had the type of unconditional love for Emily that most people really only had for their children. "He decided to go out for the night and I stayed in... Need my beauty sleep for the wedding," she added by way of explanation. She felt a slight pang of guilt at the half-truth.

"Did he have to go to a _bar_?" Emily asked. "What happened?" The teenager sounded upset and confused.

"What are you talking about, Em?" Gill asked, trying to piece it all together. She didn't function to well when she'd had her sleep disturbed. Few people did.

"I just got off the phone with him,'" Emily explained. "He's been drinking. I spent half an hour trying to convince him he wasn't a failure as a father and he hadn't screwed me up," she said. "I've never heard him like that. He never drinks that much when he's going to call or see me. I don't get it. Why the sudden concern in the middle of the night?" she asked. Of course, she'd asked Cal the same question, and he'd evaded. What was he going to say? _'Well, Gill doesn't want to have kids with me, but she wanted them with her ex. Seemed pretty logical to think the problem is with me...'_

Gill closed her eyes as she listened, her heart sinking. "Em, I'm sorry he woke you. You know how over-protective he can be at times. I don't know what's got him convinced he's a bad father." '_I could probably guess, though,' _she added in her head. "Don't worry about it. Turn your phone off and go back to sleep. Your Dad'll be just fine. I'll look after him."

"You sound more like his mother than his fiancé," Emily commented, and Gill had to bite her lip to stop herself from agreeing. Cal could be a real mess when he'd gone on a bender. Thankfully they were rare, and usually he left Gill and Emily out of it, save the occasional call to Gill to ask her to pick him up. _'Usually he just finds someone to sleep with,' _Gill thought, and as soon as she did she wished her mind hadn't gone there. He wouldn't. Not Cal. Not right before the wedding, and after everything she'd been through with Alec. He loved her, he was just upset. He wouldn't cheat on her.

"Emily, I think he's just coming in now," Gill lied. The slight sense of panic at the prospect that maybe- just maybe- Cal had turned to another woman for comfort outweighed her guilt. Now she'd lied to her twice. "I have to go. Get some sleep and I'll call you later," she promised before hanging up. The moment the call ended she hit 1 on her speed dial and waited for Cal to answer. A few rings later, Cal picked up.

"'Allo, darling," Cal greeted her as he answered his phone. A brief look at the caller ID had told him it was Gillian.

'_Great,'_ she thought. His words were slurred.


	6. Scrawled Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

OK, this one was originally rated 'M', but with feedback from the awesome I've decided I was, indeed, being overly cautious, so here it is, foks.

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"Cal, where are you?" Gillian asked. She needed to get him home... well, back to their hotel room, anyway. He needed to be with her, where he belonged. When they flew to the other side of the country to get married she hadn't pictured sitting in hotel room by herself and waiting for him to come home drunk after they'd fought about not having a family together.

"Clllearing my head," Cal informed her. He watched as the 20-something year old next to him spread salt on the bar then licked it off before taking a shot of tequila. "Oi," he said. "You probl'y shouldn't lick that." You'd have to be an idiot to put your mouth on a public bar, especially one in a joint as seedy as the one they were sitting in now.

Gill's eyes bulged and she almost dropped her phone. "Lick what?!" she asked. "Cal, where are you? Who are you talking to? I want you to come back to the hotel, please," she all-but begged, tears filling her eyes. "Please, Cal. Honey, whatever's upsetting you we can talk about. We'll work it out together. I'll help you."

Cal shook his head, although Gillian couldn't see. "I'm right, love," he lied. "I'm just having some fun." Of course, he wasn't. He was drowning his sorrows in scotch. After a tough case Gill was normally there to do that with him, but this time he was alone.

"Can't a bloke have some fun?" he asked. "Is like a one-man bachelor party," he informed her. "No strippers, though," he mused. "I don't really like 'em anyway. You ever been to a strip joint?"

"Cal!" Gillian exclaimed. "No, I haven't," she said. "I think that sort of behaviour is best kept between two people."

"Private room?" Cal suggested, and Gillian bit her bottom lip. She was getting close to losing it. "Cal," she said as calmly as she could. "Please come back to the hotel now. We can talk about strippers when you get here." Of course, she had no intention of continuing the conversation, but she had to say _something_ to get him back.

"I like the sounda that," Cal informed her with a grin. "Lemme find a cab," he said, making his way to the door. He hadn't had enough to drink that he was unsteady on his feed, but then again he'd always held his liquor reasonably well... when it came to his physical coordination, anyway. How it could affect him mentally and emotionally was another story entirely.

Gill rolled her eyes. Despite that, she wondered briefly if Cal would be turned on if she stripped for him. She liked the feeling of power she got when he let her take the lead and didn't try to hide the effect it had on him.

"Oi!" Taxi!" she heard him yell, followed by the door opening and closing and Cal giving the driver the name of their hotel. Yes, Cal had gotten into mischief, but the second Gill had asked him to come home he knew play time was over and it was time to respect her wishes. He knew she'd be upset with him when he got back.

"How far away are you?" Gill asked.

Cal paused to think. "Ten minutes?" he suggested. "Why? You miss me?" he was saying it to be obnoxious, but that didn't stop Gill from answering honestly.

"Yes," she replied softly. "I always miss you when we're apart. It upset me that you went out without me. I was lonely."

"Sorry, love," Cal apologised, leaning his head against the window of the taxi. He didn't bother justifying his actions.

"Oi! Stop!" Cal told the cabbie, patting him on the shoulder. "I gotta go in there. I'll be right back. Keep the meter running," he told him as he ducked out of the taxi. Gill could hear the diver protesting in the background.

"Cal, what are you doing now?" she asked him. "I thought you were coming back to the hotel." She was trying to remain patient, but he wasn't making it easy on her.

"Just making a stop," Cal informed her, and she heard the background noise of a radio as Cal entered what she assumed must have been a convenience store. A bar would be louder, and nothing else would be open this late. She sighed again and continued to wait. She heard him greet the sales clerk and pay for his purchases then get back into the taxi.

"Mr, you can't have that in here," the taxi driver told him. Gill wondered what he'd bought.

"It's not for me," Cal said. "It's for Foster."

The taxi driver looked at him in the rear view mirror and decided it was easier not to argue.

A few minutes later Cal was outside the hotel. He went to the concierge and asked to borrow a pen. Seconds later he returned it and Gillian heard him press the button for the elevator.

"I'll be up in a minute," he said, hanging up.

Gillian got out of bed and turned the light on, running her fingers through her hair so she was at least a bit more presentable when he arrived. It wasn't long before she heard his footsteps in the hall and a knock on the door. She moved to open it and found a dishevelled looking Cal standing there, orange slushy in hand and an apologetic smile on his face. He extended his arm to offer her the drink and she took it, noticing he'd written her a message on it.

'_Sorry, love. I've been a git.'_ Despite how upset she'd been, the scrawled words made her smile.


	7. Words that Cut

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Don't hate me! Remember you already know where they end up 15 months later, they're just taking a brief detour!

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"Come on," Gill encouraged, reaching out to take Cal's hand and pull him into the hotel room. She closed and locked the door behind him, sighing tiredly.

"I'm sorry," Cal apologised. "I didn't mean to upset you... I should go bed now," he decided. He didn't want to inflict himself on Gill when he was still drunk.

"Alright, then," Gill agreed gently, touching his chest with both hands to gently smooth down his shirt. Even when she was mad at him she loved him, and she was glad he was home safely.... Of course, part of her also hoped he had a shocking hangover in the morning so he'd be deterred from doing it again. "Let's get you out of these clothes," she said. "Then you can brush your teeth and go to bed. When you wake up in the morning you can call Emily and apologise for what you did," she told him, starting to undo the buttons on his shirt. She wasn't going to argue with him now or try to have a serious conversation.

"Lemme do it myself," Cal frowned, moving away from Gillian. He walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, then drank a large glass of water. He knew if he could get himself hydrated now he wouldn't feel so bad in the morning. He used the toilet, washed his hands and then made his way back out into the bedroom, crossing to the small couch and sitting down. He pulled both of his shoes off then laid down, scrunching himself up awkwardly in an attempt to fit on the too-small furniture.

"Cal..." Gill said, puzzled. "What are you doing? There's a perfectly good bed here."

"You don't want me sleeping with you like this, love," he told her. "I deserve to be in the doghouse."

Gill's face fell. Why was Cal doing this? She'd asked him to come to bed with her and he was avoiding being near her. Had his feelings about her changed now that she'd told him she didn't want to try for kids with him? What if he didn't love her anymore? What if he called off the wedding? She laid down on the bed, a silent tear running down her cheek. Her decision had been meant to stop either of them getting hurt. So far all it had brought either of them was pain. She clutched Cal's pillow to her chest, taking some comfort in the fact it smelt like him, and tried to fall asleep.

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Gill woke up at around 11 the next morning to the sound of the toilet flushing. She glanced over and saw Cal was no longer on the couch, then closed her eyes again. She heard the shower start, and a few quiet noises as Cal got in. She wondered how he was feeling.

Sitting up in bed, the brunette got her phone out to call her mother and see if she still wanted to meet for lunch and to go over some details for the wedding, praying that it would still be on when she had a chance to talk to Cal. They agreed to meet in the hotel lobby at 1pm for lunch and go from there.

A short while later a clean-shaven Cal emerged from the bathroom dressed in casual pants and a fresh white shirt. He looked at Gillian then ducked his head and averted his eyes. He didn't know what to say.

"Headache?" Gill asked him. Cal nodded. "Good," she said, getting out of bed and flouncing into the bathroom, shutting the door a little too firmly behind her. Cal flinched as the almost-slam made his head pound even more.

When Gill re-emerged she was wrapped in a towel, and Cal knew better than to try and sneak a peek. Truth be told, he wasn't sure he wanted to. Apart from the fact he felt sick with this shocking hangover, having sex with her right now was only going to remind him about the real reason they were fighting.

Gill noticed Cal didn't look, and it made her heart sink. Normally he'd have looked and smiled lovingly, or come up with some sort of suggestive comment for her. Sometimes he'd even have gotten up and tried to get the towel off her. Today he didn't seem the slightest bit interested. Of course it didn't make a difference to whether she was a woman or not, but when Gill had found out she couldn't have kids she'd felt like less of one. She knew it was common for people in her situation to feel like that, and she also knew- logically- that it was nonsense. She couldn't help it, though, and the changes in Cal's behaviour now that he knew what was going on only reinforced those feelings. She pulled out some underwear, a skirt and a plain top and pulled them on silently, sitting down on the edge of the bed when she was done and looking at him.

"Are we going to talk?" she asked him softly. In her line of work she'd gotten used to talking.

"Not much to say, really," Cal replied, looking out the window. "You made the decision for us, and I can't do a bloody thing about that. End of the day it's your body, so it's your choice... Hell, even if we adopt I can hardly do it without you," he said. "I already apologised for last night. I shouldn't 've gone out like that."

"You haven't apologised to Emily," Gill replied. It was easier to focus on that than try and work out how to deal with the rest of it.

"I called her last night," Cal said. "She knows how I feel."

"She knows you were drunk and you woke her up to go on about goodness only knows what," Gill corrected him. "She called me, Cal. She was upset and confused, and frankly I don't blame her for feeling like that. I'm in a similar situation myself."

"Look, Foster," Cal said, using distancing language to try and help keep her from getting to him. "You've already made it abundantly clear you don't think I'm a fit parent. All I did was prove you right, right?" he said rhetorically. He was already beating himself up over it. It was bad enough he wasn't going to have a family with Gill, but to think it was because he thought he was that bad of a father almost killed him.

"I think you behaved badly last night," Gillian told him. "But I never said you were an unfit parent. When did I say that, Cal?" she asked. "_Why_ would I say that? You love Emily."

"Takes a lot more than love to be a good parent, Gill," Cal said sadly. He paused for a long while, and Gill could see him turning something over in his head. Whatever it was, he was struggling with it. "Maybe this was a mistake."

"What was a mistake?" Gill asked, fearing the worst.

"I always knew I wasn't good enough for you," Cal said, obviously defeated. Gill needed someone she'd be willing to start a family with. Someone stable and not so... weird. Someone better looking, and safe. Dependable. He thought he could be that guy, but apparently he was wrong. "Maybe we shouldn't get married."

Gill gasped. His words cut her.


	8. Words Are Enough

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Longest chapter yet, and.... well, you'll see. Thanks again for the reviews.

* * * * *

Gillian Foster was trying to think of news she'd heard in the past that had shocked or upset her more. Finding out Alec had been cheating on her had been upsetting but, if she was honest with herself, far from unexpected. She'd had her suspicions for quite some time before they were confirmed. This was right up there with losing Sophie. That was the only time she could honestly say she'd ever felt anything close to how she was feeling right now.

Cal couldn't look at Gillian, which seemed to be somewhat of a pattern for him this morning. He couldn't bear to see the pain on her face, especially knowing he was the one who'd put it there. Yes, he knew he was hurting her, but he thought that in the long run this was what was best for her, and at the end of the day that's all he wanted- what was best for Gillian.

"I... how could you say that?" Gill asked. She had to speak. Needed to say something. Anything. "Please tell me this is one of your sick jokes." The tears hadn't come yet- she was still far too shocked for it to have fully set in.

"I'm not joking, Foster," Cal said, his voice quiet and serious. He swallowed hard, fighting the urge to show how much what he was doing upset him.

"Cal, I _love _you," Gillian said desperately, her eyes starting to well up. "I thought you loved me too. I thought you wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We talked about this. I remember. We talked about working until we were ready to retire, keeping ownership of the company but handing the reins over to Loker and Torres so we'd have something big to leave Emily when we died. We talked about moving to the country, somewhere quiet where we could read a book in peace and I could have a horse. You wanted to buy an old English motorcar and restore it, and we were going to go for drives on Sunday afternoons and have picnics. Cal, I didn't imagine this by myself. You said you wanted it too."

Cal didn't think he'd ever been so close to crying in front of Gill. He shook his head. "That's a load of tosh," he said coldly. "When are you going to stop believing in happily ever after, Foster?" he asked her. Maybe if he was acting like a bastard she'd not be so upset. "It doesn't work that way. Don't you know that? There were things I thought you wanted, too, but sometimes people are wrong."

"Is all of this about me not wanting to try for children with you?" Gillian asked. "Is that what this is about, Cal? I deserve an explanation. If you're going to leave me less than a week before our wedding you owe me that much." She was desperate.

"What difference does it make?" Cal asked her. His face wasn't giving away anything.

"It makes a difference to me," Gillian replied, the tears starting to fall. "I need to know why. Can't we work this out?" she asked hopefully.

Cal sneered slightly. "I'm not good enough for you, love," he said quietly, finally bringing his eyes to meet Gill's. He leant forward in his chair, his forearms resting on his thighs just above his knees. "You deserve better. You've always wanted kids. _Always_," he emphasised. "You should be with someone you want to raise them with, not settling for a cranky old bastard like me."

Gillian tried to maintain the little composure she had left. If she knew what the problem was she could fix it, and Cal was talking now. This was a good start. "What do you mean you're not good enough for me?" she asked. "Cal, you're my best friend. We've been through so much together. Two divorces, a cheating spouse, an ex who manipulated one of us into making a decision that almost sent the company into ruins, then coming back from that... We've been through terrorist attacks, explosions, near-abductions by serial rapist copycats, hostage situations.... Things that could have ruined a lot of people, but we've stood by each other and we've got through it together. I couldn't have made it without you. I don't even want to think about what it would be like to try. Can't you see that? Look at my face and tell me I'm lying. Tell me I don't love you more than anything else in the world."

"I don't want to lose you as a friend, Gill," Cal said gently, reaching out to wipe a tear from her cheek. "It's not that I don't love you. You just deserve better. You should be with someone who's going to be a good father. Someone you want to have a family with."

"Cal, I _want _to have a family with you," Gillian insisted.

Cal looked at her, confused. "You told me last night you didn't," he said. "I promised you that one way or another we'd have one together, and you told me you didn't want that."

Gillian shook her head. "No, I didn't," she said. "I said I didn't want to _try_. There's a difference."

Cal stared at her blankly. Why were women so bloody complicated? It sounded like the same thing to him.

"I want a family, Cal," she said softly. "Honestly I do. And I want to have it with you. I dream about it at night, and during the day I space out thinking about what it would be like to hold a baby in my arms again and know that it was ours. I see mothers out with their children and honestly sometimes I just want to take them home and love them."

Cal quirked an eyebrow. "Slightly-psychotic kidnapping tendencies aside, I'm still confused," he admitted.

Gill sighed, reaching up to wipe tears from her eyes. "I went through all of this with Alec," she said. "The hope and anticipation. The disappointment when we tried and failed, the elation when it worked and then the devastation when I miscarried and the doctor told me we weren't going to be able to do it naturally. When I eventually convinced Alec to adopt he was adamant he could never love someone else's baby like it was his own, but for 57 days he did. Both of us did. God, Cal, I've never felt anything like the way I felt when I held Sophie in my arms. It was like for the first time in my life I was actually complete," she said, fighting back another wave of tears. Her voice started to shake more as she continued to speak, her volume dropping to just above a whisper. "Then when her birth mother took her back from us...." she trailed off, and in no time Cal was sitting next to her, his arms around her body and his hands stroking her back soothingly. He didn't say anything, he just kissed the top of her head and rocked her gently.

It took several minutes for Gill to calm down enough to speak again. When she did her voice was weak and shaky from emotion. "I just can't go through those emotions again," she told him. "It hurts too much. It hurts me, and it hurt Alec. It hurt our relationship. I don't want to do that to you and me- as individuals or as a couple. It's easier just to not try. Then I know we're never going to go through that."

Cal sat silently, trying to take it all in. "I want a family with you, Gill," he told her. "I know how much you want this, and I want it too. I don't care if it makes me a sissy, but I dream about it. I dream about you with our kids, seeing you laugh and play, and seeing you hold them or read them stories when you tuck them into bed at night. Sneaking chocolate pudding before dinner and drinking slushies in the park. I think about you baking cookies for them and sewing Halloween costumes and trying to remember how to do long division without a calculator so we can help them with their homework... All of that. I know it won't be easy, but I want to try it with you. I need to. We owe ourselves that much, don't we?" he asked her. "And when it doesn't work right away, we'll be expecting that, and we'll keep trying because we have each other for support. You said it yourself. Together, we can make it through things we couldn't do on our own."

Gillian tightened her grip on Cal. Her heart ached when he talked about them as a family. She wanted that so much that some days she honestly didn't know if how she'd ever cope without it. It was easier than having it taken away, though. "I'm scared, Cal," she whispered. "I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want you to get hurt, either, and I don't want to fail you like I failed Alec. I can't promise I'll try for a family but please don't leave me. I can't survive without you. I need you."

"You didn't fail anyone, love," Cal told Gillian gently, giving her a little squeeze. "And you could never fail me. I love you, and I always will. No matter what."

Gill tightened her grip on Cal and nodded slightly. "Does that mean you'll think about it?" he asked quietly. He needed to feel like she'd at least consider it. He'd never known he could love anything as much as he loved Emily, and he wanted for Gill to have that. She'd had it with Sophie, but it had been torn away from her. He wanted her to have it forever. A child that was theirs to keep.

Gillian nodded slowly. "No promises," she reminded him, her voice weak. "But I'll think about it."

For now, her words were enough for Cal.


	9. Not the Time for Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

I feel like I should apologise to those of you who said you were upset last time, but I wouldn't want you to not feel any emotions when you're reading! That would be awful! Short this time, but not as emotional as the last, I promise :)

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Cal held Gill for a long while, stroking her back and hair and murmuring to her quietly until she relaxed properly and had calmed down. He knew how much talking about not having a family hurt her, and as much as it hurt him, at least he had Emily.

Gill sat up when she was feeling better, her eyes still red and a little puffy, and looked at Cal. She raised a hand to his face, cupping his right cheek and stroking it with her thumb. She didn't want to talk about having children... or not having them. She wanted to make sure that Cal was alright, and that he still wanted to get married. She took a deep breath and kissed him just above his right eyebrow. "It's perfectly normal to get cold feet before the wedding," she said softly, thinking that may have had something to do with his earlier decision to say he wanted to call it off. "A lot of people go through it, and I know you're scared that you'll see doubt on my face the way you did with Zoe when she stepped up to the altar," she continued, running her fingers through Cal's hair. She liked it short, it suited him. She leant in and kissed him softly on the lips then. "You're not going to, though," she told him. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I want to be Mrs. Lightman."

Cal kept his eyes relatively steady on Gill's, but he had to admit she'd tapped into something he'd only really been thinking of subconsciously until she'd mentioned it. "You're Dr. Foster, though," he pointed out, flashing the slightest expression of contempt. He hated that Gill had built her reputation on Alec's name. He was with her forever now, in a way that Cal never could be.

"Hey," Gill said, letting her hand drop from his face to rest over his heart. "Maybe at work I have to be Dr. Foster," she said. "But at home I want to be Mrs. Cal Lightman. Being your future wife is something I'm a lot more proud of than a university degree," she said. "I'm sorry I have to keep Alec's name for work. You understand, though, right?" she asked. They'd spent a long time talking about it and weighing up their options. At the end of the day, though, her professional reputation was important to both of them and to the company, so she'd chosen to stick with it.

Cal nodded. "Having two Dr. Lightmans around would be too confusing," he said. 'Plus, if I piss the wrong person off I wouldn't want 'em coming after you by mistake," he told her with a grin, using it to mask his real feelings about the situation.

Gill was saddened by it but nodded. She could see right through Cal's act. She kissed Cal's cheek lingeringly. "I wish you wouldn't do that," she said softly.

"Do what?" Cal asked, tilting his head to the side and squinting slightly at her.

"Try to mask your feelings like that all the time," she said. "Pretend you're okay with it when you're not. I know we agreed not to call each other on things when we saw them, but Cal, this is a big one. I know you're not happy about me keeping Alec's name, and I can't blame you. We used to be married and I can see why it would bother you. I'm yours, though, in every other way." She raised her hand and put it behind Cal's head, lightly scratching the hair at the base of his neck, which she knew always made him shiver. She lowered her voice, her gaze intensifying. "_Your _woman," Gill repeated without a hint of hesitation before offering him a smile that reached all the way up to her eyes.

Cal's eyelids fluttered shut. Gill knew he had always had a caveman-like attitude when it came to her. It was half possessive, half protective, but it meant that he wanted her all to himself. She was playing right into that now, and it made him groan. "You're manipulative. You know that, don't you?" he asked her playfully. He didn't mind one bit.

"It's one of the reasons you love me," Gill smiled, climbing onto Cal's lap and straddling him with their chests almost touching. "I know _exactly _what makes you tick, Cal Lightman," she informed him, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck and kissing him softly again.

"You do, don't you?" Cal murmured against his future wife's lips. Maybe it was her background in psychology, or the amount of years they'd known each other, but she was well and truly inside Cal's head. Gillian Foster- soon to be Gillian Lightman- knew him better than anybody ever had, including Zoe. '_She probably knows me better than I know myself...' _Cal mused.

Gillian's smile broadened, her lips never losing contact with Cal's. "Ah huh," she murmured proudly, kissing him again then sucking his bottom lip gently into her mouth. She rolled her hips against his gently but suggestively as her hand made its way down to stroke his stomach, then skilfully undid the top button on his pants.

Cal groaned again. Now was definitely not the time for words.


	10. NonNegotiable Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

I'm sorry guys, I haven't had proper internet access over the past few days, just my iPhone! Having said that, it doesn't mean I haven't been writing. I have 8000 words (ok, it's actually 7976) all prepared for you in 9 chapters that I'll be posting over the next few days (unless you all seem bored of it :P). Starting to tread the line with the rating here, but I think since there's nothing that doesn't happen fully-clothed we're still OK. If I'm wrong, please let me know. If you stick with it there *will* be smut... eventually. Let me kmow if you're still enjoying it or if it's going down a road you don't like, I can always make modifications. In the next chapters expect to meet Gill's mother and for Emily to make an appearance. Apart from that, enjoy!

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Cal let himself get lost in the kiss for a while, his lips and tongue moving with Gill's in a familiar quest for dominance. He slipped his hands under Gill's ass, squeezing firmly and eliciting a loud moan of delight before using his hand position to hold Gill so he could flip them over and Gill was on her back under him. His lips left her mouth then and he kissed across her cheek to the little spot just below her ear that drove her wild, nipping at it gently then soothing it with his tongue. In an effort to feel more put-together when he'd woken up with a hangover that morning he'd shaved off the stubble that usually scratched pleasantly at her skin. Gill missed the sensation, but delighted in the way Cal was teasing her neck anyway.

"Feeling possessive, Dr. Lightman?" she asked him playfully, arching up off the bed slightly when he mumbled his response against her neck and started to suck it lightly.

"Cal!" she exclaimed, unable to stop herself giggling even as she chastised him. 'I can't get married with a neck full of hickies, and I'm meant to have lunch with my mother at one! Oh, god! What's the time?" she asked, common sense finally kicking in as she sat up and left a rather stunned-looking Cal alone on the bed.

Cal grunted then and laid back, flopping his arms down on the bed beside him. "You're bloody kidding, right?" he asked. He wasn't mad at Gill- he'd never get upset with her for saying 'no' to sex, but he _was _rather uncomfortable now, and his pants were feeling a little too tight.

"I'm sorry, honey," Gill apologised, straightening her skirt and top then fixing her hair. She leant over the bed and kissed Cal. "It was that or have her come up and knock on the door to find out why I was running late," she pointed out. Cal pouted.

"I promise I'll make it up to you," she said, kissing him chastely on the lips.

"Alright," Cal agreed. Gill was, after all, a woman of her word. He shifted to check the clock. 12:45. They still had some time before Gill had to meet her mother. "Lay with me for a bit?" Cal requested. "No funny business, I promise." Make up sex was phenomenal, but cuddling was a close second when it was with Gill, even if Cal would never admit it publicly for fear of ruining his bad boy image. It just felt good to be close to her and feel her body against his. She was soft in all the right places, firm where she should be, she smelt amazing and Cal loved the way their bodies fit together like they were made for each other.

Gill eyed Cal suspiciously and he nodded. "Scout's honour," he told her, patting the bed next to him.

The brunette smiled then and laid down next to Cal, her head on his shoulder and a hand resting over his heart. "You were never a boy scout," she reminded him, amused.

Cal wrapped an arm around Gill and nodded. "I know. It worked, though, didn't it?" he asked.

Gill laughed quietly and shook her head, snuggling in closer.

"We couldn't 've gone any further anyway," Cal told Gill.

Gill sighed contentedly, closing her eyes. "Why's that?" she asked, her voice taking on a relaxed, dreamy tone.

Cal stroked her back soothingly. "I don't have protection," he said. "Something else I could've learnt in boy scouts- always be prepared."

Gill shifted her head enough to look up at him. "You know you don't need that," she told him. They'd stopped using it when they'd gotten engaged. As things were Gill was unlikely to fall pregnant, and they'd both stopped seeing other people so it seemed like a natural thing to do.

Cal shook his head. "You said no kids," he reminded Gill. He wasn't saying it to be vindictive, he was attempting to respect her wishes. They could revisit it when they'd had a chance to discuss if they should try. Or, more accurately, when Cal had had a chance to plead his case.

Gill frowned. "Cal, you know it's highly unlikely that I'll..."

Cal cut her off. "Highly unlikely is not the same as impossible," he said. "If you're allowed to be adamant about not trying for kids right now then I can put my foot down over this. I'm not trying to be a bastard, I'm trying to respect your wishes. We can reconsider when we've discussed having a family again later, and when you've been to the doctor so we know exactly where we stand. If we're going to have a baby then it's going to be because we both want to try, not because I was reckless and praying for a 'mistake' so I could get my way."

Gill sat up completely then to look at Cal properly. She didn't think he'd ever put his foot down with her before. They'd always been able to discuss things and reach some sort of compromise. "You're serious, aren't you?" she asked, more surprised than anything else.

"Abso-bloody-lutely," Cal replied determinedly.

Gill raised her eyebrows in surprise. At least she knew where she stood- his words left no room for negotiation.

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	11. Mother's Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

A nice long one for you :)

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Gill considered Cal's reaction, not trying to read him, but just studying his face carefully. After some time she nodded. "Okay," she agreed. "That's fair." She wasn't overly happy about it, but she was willing to accept that sometimes one of them had to give in. Cal had been doing a lot of that lately and it was her turn to concede- it wasn't like he as asking her to do something awful, it was something he was doing with good intentions.

"Cal..." Gill said hesitantly. "Does that mean all this time you thought we were trying to...?" she asked.

Cal did his best to hide the sadness on his face. "About time you met your mother, isn't it, love?" he suggested, trying to change the subject.

"Honey, please don't shut me out," Gill said softly for the second time that morning. She'd come to learn that when Cal's emotions ran high he put his walls up pretty quickly.

"What do you want me to say, then?" Cal asked. "Yeah, I thought the implication was we were trying to have a baby. Maybe not doing everything we could, but generally when you stop using birth control and you keep having sex there's a pretty reasonable expectation that neither party would find a pregnancy unwelcome." The hurt on his face and in his voice was evident.

Gill reached out and stroked his chest a little, brushing off an imaginary piece of lint. She pursed her lips. "You really thought that's what we were doing and wanted it enough that you went along with it?" she asked. She hadn't realised, although she could see now why Cal would have assumed that.

"Yeah I bloody wanted it," Cal said, the harshness of his words dampened by the gentleness of his tone. "I got a tattoo with a space for our child's name. How much more committed to wanting something can you be?" he asked.

Gill looked down then and closed her eyes briefly. "What are you going to do with it if I don't change my mind?" she asked softly.

Cal chewed his bottom lip. Gill had always wanted kids, he'd never considered it would be a problem or he wouldn't have gone ahead with getting the tattoo. He supposed, in hindsight, it was something they should have discussed openly. "Keep it as it is," he told her, deciding on the spot. "Your feelings about trying for kids might affect whether we try or not, but they won't change the fact that I want one. I don't want to forget that."

"Cal..." Gill said softly, trying to persuade him to change his mind.

"What?" he asked. "You said not to shut you out so I told you how I feel. I want to have a family with you, and if that means we try to conceive naturally and it doesn't work then I'd want to explore our other options for having a child that's biologically ours. If that doesn't work, or you really couldn't go through it again, then I'd be more than happy to adopt and I'd love that little boy or girl just as much, because we don't need DNA in common for us to be a family. There are ways we can do this. I don't want to see you in pain, I just wish I could convince you that it's worth the risk."

"You don't know what it's like," Gill protested, her eyes filling with tears as she looked up at Cal, begging him to stop pushing the issue.

"Don't know what what's like?" Cal asked, shifting so he was facing Gill properly.

"Losing a child," Gill said quietly, her tears falling freely down her cheeks now.

Cal's facial expression changed for just a second before he wrapped his arms around Gill. She was crying too hard to have noticed the microexpression.

"I'm sorry, love," he said softly. "I'm so, so sorry." He hated seeing her cry. He was glad she didn't see the single tear that ran down his cheek as he dealt with his own pain. There were some things he was keeping to himself.

"Gillian, are you in there?" her mother's voice came through the door after a brief knock.

Cal wiped the tear from his cheek quickly then let Gill go.

"Cal Lightman, you'd better not be up to mischief in there," she called through the door. "I thought you said you were getting separate rooms."

Her mother's words caused Gill to laugh through her tears- she'd cried so much that morning that she was just about cried out anyway. "I wonder if she realises I lost my virginity the first time I got married," she asked Cal, taking a tissue when he offered it to her.

Cal looked at his fiancé, a little stunned. "Wait. Alec was your first?" he asked. That made him despise Gill's ex even more. Not only was Gill keeping his name for work, she'd lost her virginity to him!

Gill smiled knowingly, her eyes sparkling even through the tears that were still there. The look on her face said _'wouldn't you like to know?'_. "That's not a question for me to answer with my mother outside the door accusing you of engaging in pre-marital sex with her daughter, is it?" she asked.

Cal grumbled but conceded she had a point, walking over to let Gill's mother in.

"What took you so long?" the older woman asked, eyeing Cal suspiciously.

"Lovely to see you, too," he replied, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "We were talking."

"Talking?" she asked.

"Mum, it's okay," Gill intervened, walking over to see her and smiling reassuringly when her mother noticed she'd been crying. "We were talking about Sophie," she said, not having a problem with the half-truth.

Gill's mother accepted that and stopped then, much to Cal's relief. She reached out and took the tissue her daughter was holding, wiping her eyes and gently dabbing where her eye make-up had run. Every time he saw Gill's mother Cal was reminded that it was obvious where she got her maternal instincts from.

"I'm sorry, baby girl," she whispered, wiping a smudge off Gill's cheek with her thumb. "Nothing can compare to the pain of losing a child, and nothing will ever replace her," she said softly. "Does Cal want another child, though?" she asked. "Your father and I lost a baby before you and..."

"I know, mum," Gill said softly. She'd heard it a thousand times before. "And then you had me, and even though the pain never goes away it's hard to cry when you've got the light of your life in your arms. You've told me before," she said with a sigh.

"Well, maybe you should listen, sweetheart," she said gently. 'I'm not saying it for no reason. Cal's a good man. He has a nice home, a successful business... He's raised a child before, so you know he's capable, which is more than I can say for...."

"Mum, enough, please," Gill said. "It's _our _successful business, and it wasn't Alec's fault Sophie got taken away. Can we please just go to lunch? I can't talk about this right now."

"You can't go like that, you poor baby. You look like you've been crying all morning."

"I have," Gill reminded her.

"No, we'll have something in the room and we can go shopping when you feel better," Gill's mother told her. "Meanwhile, I think you should listen to my advice. Cal, be a dear and go and get us some sandwiches, would you please?" she requested, reaching into her purse to get some money for him.

Cal had been listening silently to the exchange between mother and daughter. He had always liked Gill's mother. She was somewhat old-fashioned, but she was fair, and her love for her daughter was obvious. He was pretty sure, though, that he'd never liked her quite as much as he did right now- after all, it appeared he now had an ally. He glanced at Gill to see if she'd be alright without him and, receiving a nod, he smiled. "No, my treat," he insisted. "Back in a few minutes, love," he told Gill, closing the door behind him as he left.

He didn't want for her to keep hurting when they continued to discuss it, which was probably why Cal couldn't help but feel guilty as he walked down the hall and found himself hoping that Gill's mother's words were more persuasive than his own.


	12. Words of Hope

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

This was originally one teeny tiny chapter and a longer one. You'd all been so good reviewing for me, though, that I didn't have the heart to put it up as just one (plus, what would have been the first chapter was going to be called 'final words' and I think I'd rather save that title for the end of the story :P)

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Gill looked longingly at the door when Cal left. She always missed him when they were apart, even for a few minutes, and that was particularly true when she was upset. She just wanted him to come back and hold her and tell her everything would be alright. She wished he could make all of the pain go away and somehow magically make a baby appear that would be theirs forever and nobody could take it away.

Gill's mother watched her daughter carefully. "You're really in love with him, aren't you?" she asked.

Gill nodded. "Yeah, I am," she replied, smiling sadly.

"What's wrong?" her mother asked gently. "Doesn't he want children?"

Gill shook her head. "No, he does," she assured the older woman. "He's desperate for another child."

"What's the problem, then?" came her mother's slightly confused reply.

Gill took a deep, shaky breath. She wondered how much more of this she could take. "Can we talk about this later, please?" she asked hopefully.

"You're scared," he mother called her on it.

"Mum...."

"Gillian, don't you lie to me. You know I'll know, even if I don't know your science. I'm your mother. Now, look me in the eye and tell me fear isn't the only thing holding you back."

Gill looked away. She couldn't. "I just... can we please talk about this after the wedding?" she requested. "All I've done since Cal and I started talking about this is cry. I want my baby back but I can't have that, so I just want to think about Sophie quietly without having to talk about losing her. I'm getting married, I'm meant to be happy. Please, just... after the wedding. We can talk about it when Cal and I get back from our honeymoon. I promise," she said, trying one last time to convince her mother to drop the subject.

"Alright," she finally agreed. "But I won't forget this, and I won't forget I'm on Cal's side this time, either," she warned Gill.

Gillian nodded. 'Okay, mum. I know," she said, and prayed that, for now, that was the end of their conversation.

* * * * *

Later that afternoon Gill returned home from shopping with her mother and let herself into the hotel room. She was drained both physically and emotionally. The lights in the room were dim and she sighed, turning them back up to full power as she made her way inside and set her bags down.

"Oi!" Cal complained. "How's a bloke meant to create an atmosphere with you around, woman?" he asked her playfully, standing up and walking over to greet her with a kiss.

Gill looked around. Sure enough, Cal had lit some candles and put a tablecloth on the small table in their room. On the table there was a vase containing a single red rose. She opened her mouth to speak but Cal hushed her with another kiss.

"Don't say anything," he said gently. "I know you've had a rough 24 hours, and it's mostly been my fault. I've drawn you a bath, and when you've had some time to yourself we can order room service and have a quiet dinner. No more talk about starting a family. I want to marry you no matter what, so let's just focus on the wedding for now and we can sort it out in a month or two, alright, darling?"

Gill offered Cal a relieved smile and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. "You're so good to me," she said softly.

Cal grinned. He was actually proud of himself. "Yep, I'm a real catch," he told Gill playfully. "And don't you forget it. Now, go and enjoy your bath," he instructed, gently ushering her towards the bathroom.

When Gill stepped into the bathroom she noticed the lights were dimmed there, too. Almost the only light came from more candles. The bath had been run and was full of bubbles, and sitting on the edge of it was a glass of white wine. She smiled then and, knowing Cal sometimes felt self-conscious about the romantic, caring gestures he made, she turned her smile into a grin before turning her body to face him. "You're exceptionally well-trained," she informed her fiancé. "I'm actually torn between time alone and wanting you to join me."

Cal shook his head. "As tempting as that offer is, this is about you having time to clear your head," he informed her. "Take some time to yourself without your mother or me watching you and think about whatever it is you want to think about... Or think about nothing. Whatever you want to do. Then, when you're done, you can call me if you need someone to wash your back, alright?" he instructed with a smile. He knew how difficult it was for Gill to deal with her feelings regarding Sophie and her failed attempts at having a baby, and he suspected that having him and her mother around watching her every move, analysing every twitch on her face must make it even more difficult. She couldn't just _feel_ without having those feelings shared with someone else.

Gill pressed her lips against Cal's firmly then, pulling him close. "I love you," she whispered against his lips. "You make me so happy, and you take incredibly good care of me. I can't wait to be your wife."

Cal beamed with pride then. He'd failed in his marriage with Zoe, but he had a second chance at getting things right with Gill and he had every intention of making the most of it. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for that woman. "It still amazes me every time you say something like that," Cal replied.

"Why?" Gill asked, stepping back a little then slowly starting to undress to get into the bath.

"I wonder what someone as amazing as you is doing with me. I mean, I'm a bit rough 'round the edges, aren't I?" he asked. It wasn't the first time they'd had this discussion. As cocky as he could be about a lot of things, Cal really did think he wasn't good enough for Gill.

Gill looked at Cal, slipping out of her skirt and folding it neatly then sitting it on the edge of the basin. "Do you want to know when I first knew for sure?" she asked. "I've loved you for a long time, first as a friend and then as more, but I still remember the first time my heart skipped a beat and I knew you were the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with."

Cal raised an eyebrow and studied Gill carefully. She'd never told him before. "Alright.." he agreed, somewhat hesitant.

"We were working back late one night," Gill said, taking off her bra and smiling a little as she remembered the night in question. "Zoe had to go out of town at the last minute so she'd dropped Emily off at the office. Emily was sick so she'd curled up on the lounge in your study and gone to sleep. I came to find you and I guess you must have been worried she was getting cold, because when I came in you were sitting on the couch next to her tucking your coat around her shoulders to keep her warm. The expression on your face then... There was love, concern, compassion...and even through all of those gentle things there was this overriding feeling that you would do anything in the world to protect her and make her pain go away. You looked at her, and it was like for a few minutes your whole focus had been narrowed down to the one thing that was the most important in your life and nothing else existed. I saw how amazing you were with her and that's when I knew for sure," she admitted, her heart fluttering just thinking about it. "From that moment on you had me. Hook, line and sinker."

Cal remembered that night well. He'd been so worried about Emily he couldn't possibly concentrate on his work. All he'd wanted to do was look after his little girl. "I didn't know you saw that," he admitted quietly.

Gill nodded. "Once I saw for sure what an amazing father you were and how gentle you could be when you let your walls down there was no way I could have stopped myself falling for you, even if I'd wanted to."

"But if what made you fall in love with me was me being a good father to Emily then how can you say you don't want..."

Gill cut Cal off. "My bath's getting cold, Cal," she told him gently. She didn't want him to bring that up now. They'd promised not to talk about it until after the wedding and, truth be told, she knew that if he went down that road with her now her resolve would weaken and she'd say yes to trying again, which would leave her wide open for being dragged through years of pain and disappointment.

Cal wanted to argue but nodded his head instead, slowly backing out of the bathroom and closing the door as he left. He rested his hand on the wood and looked at it, his heart pounding in his chest. Whether she'd meant for them to do it or not, Gill's words offered him hope.


	13. Unheard Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

A bit of a revelation in this chapter... Let me know what you think.

* * * * *

Strangely, on either side of the closed bathroom door, both halves of the couple were thinking similar thoughts.

As Gill stepped into the bath and picked up her glass of wine it was no surprise her mind wandered straight to Sophie, wondering what she'd look like now and how big she'd be. She was positive her little girl would be beautiful. She knew she should stop thinking of Sophie as hers, but she couldn't. For fifty seven days her whole life had revolved around that tiny human being, and Gillian loved her more than she ever could have imagined loving anything. Her heart ached thinking about the loss of her baby girl, even more than it did when she thought about her failed attempts at conceiving in the past, or the few times she'd succeeded and miscarried. She'd actually held Sophie in her arms. Bonded with her, watched her cry, soothed her, rocked her to sleep and gotten lost in how peaceful and innocent she'd looked laying in her crib. She hated to say it, but when it really got to her- the days when she was so overcome with grief she thought she wouldn't even be able to get out of bed- she found a dark part of herself. A tiny part, usually well-hidden, even from herself, that wished something would happen to Sophie's birth mother so she could take her back. Those days made her despise herself. How could she wish that on another human being? Sophie was old enough now that she'd recognise her mother and would have formed a bond with her. She'd feel the loss, and Gillian didn't want to put her through that, even if it meant having her back.

Cal, meanwhile, was sitting on the bed. His first thought had been to go to the mini bar and pull out one of the little bottles of scotch he was so fond of, but he couldn't put Gill through another night of his drinking. He didn't have a drinking problem, he just got a bit carried away on occasion. The times he did were few and far between, and usually only when something had affected him deeply, but he could choose to control his little binges, and he did. He brushed his thumbs over the worn corners of an old photograph taken from a sonogram that he carried in his wallet. His baby. His little boy. They'd lost him a few months into the pregnancy, before they'd told everyone Zoe was expecting, and afterwards the only thing that had kept Cal on track was Emily. He had to be strong for her. Zoe seemed to cope reasonably well. As much as he'd loved her, she'd always been cold and somewhat detached, and he couldn't say she broke down on a regular basis. She'd been upset when she'd found out- understandably so- but it was Cal who'd been deeply affected by it. Zoe had chosen not to talk about it and Cal, known for his ability to avoid his emotions, had done the same, refusing to confront the pain he felt when he thought about the son he'd lost. He'd never told anyone about it. Emily was too young to know what was going on, so it was a secret he and Zoe shared, and without a doubt the biggest one he had. They'd tried for another child after that, but hadn't succeeded, and Cal was certain Zoe had started taking the pill again without telling him to avoid falling pregnant and risking losing another. It pained him when Gillian talked about him not understanding, but he never gave it away. His sadness could have easily been mistaken for empathy, and he didn't want to make those situations about him. Gillian needed his love and support, not to have to comfort him.

Both Cal and Gill stared straight ahead for a long while, thinking about the children they'd lost. Eventually Cal put the photograph away and got out the room service menu, wanting to be a little more composed before he faced Gill again. The brunette in question emerged from the bathroom a short time later, empty wine glass in hand, wrapped in a towel. "My robe is out here," she told Cal.

Cal smiled affectionately. "I can't say I'm complaining," he admitted, standing up and kissing her cheek. "You're beautiful," he told her softly, eliciting a slight blush from Gillian before moving to fetch the silk bath robe she had brought with them. He ran his hand down the back of the towel as he handed her the robe, unable to resist touching her. "I've got the room service menu out," he told her, sitting back on the bed.

"What looks good?" Gill asked, slipping out of the towel and into the robe. She was glad they were back to 'normal', moving comfortably around each other and neither of them arguing or crying.

Cal ran his eyes up and down the menu again. "If you were looking at it your mouth would say linguini," he mused. "but your eyes would tell me what you really wanted was....." he trailed off, considering his options. "Tempura prawns for an entree, no mains and for dessert, the 'Chocolate obsession'- layers of chocolate cake separated by layers of milk and dark chocolate mousse, covered in chocolate ganache."

Gill laughed and sat down next to Cal on the bed, resting her head on his shoulder while she looked at the menu. "Close," she conceded before grinning. "I'd skip the entree."

It was Cal's turn to laugh this time. "Of course you would."

"Oh! They do have dumplings, though," she pointed out.

"Again with the meat you can't see?" Cal asked, amused. "Do you do it just to get a rise?"

"I do it because they're delicious," Gill smiled, licking her lips. "And you know how I can be once I get it in my head that I want something in my mouth," she said, the double-meaning not lost on Cal, who grunted.

"You behave yourself," he told Gill with a chuckle. "We don't need to give your mother any more ammunition."

"It's not like she'd know..." Gill replied, tilting her head so she could look up at Cal demurely.

Cal moaned quietly this time, deep and low. "You're doing that on purpose."

"I know," Gill smiled. "Is it working?"

Cal shifted on the bed. "What do you think?" he asked.

"I think you love me and you're not going to be upset with me when I want to order dumplings," she grinned, stealing the menu away from him and then reaching to pick up the phone.

Cal rolled Gill onto her back then, tickling her when his body was covering hers. "Oh, that's what you think, is it?" he asked playfully, nipping gently at her neck.

Gill couldn't control the urge to laugh when she felt Cal's fingers on her sides. "Cal!" she squealed playfully. "Cal, stop tickling me!" she giggled, wiggling underneath him.

"You wanted to get a rise, now you've got one," Cal grinned, continuing to tickle her.

"I can feel that," Gill laughed, referring to the bulge now pressed against her stomach.

"Oh, you're a comedian now?" Cal asked with a laugh, ignoring Gill's request from earlier and sucking on a patch of flesh to leave a small but well-defined hickey on her neck.

"Cal! Don't!" she laughed, not really minding. She could always cover it with make-up, and she secretly liked that Cal wanted to mark her as his. As they both rolled around laughing on the bed, all of her worries were temporarily forgotten, along with the phone, which was now laying discarded on the pillow to her right.

"Uhh... ma'am?" the operator's voice came from the other end of the line. His words went unheard.


	14. Sweeter Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Well, I've heard from most of you, but appears readership has dwindled since my brief break! I hope you like the new chapter- this one's more fluffy than anything else, it's not integral to the plot, I just felt like things should go well for them for a little while. Since it _is _relatively pointless I'm going to post a second chapter in a few hours.

* * * * *

Gill was awake relatively early the next morning, just enjoying cuddling in bed with Cal. She hadn't felt this relaxed and happy in quite a few days. They were picking Emily up from the airport later that day, and after getting the wedding favours on her shopping trip with her mother the afternoon before things felt like they were really coming together. When the alarm eventually went off, Gill couldn't even complain. Wendy Matthews' 'I don't wanna be with nobody but you' filled their hotel room, and it only made her smile more.

"Cal, time to get up, honey," she told him quietly, rubbing his chest gently. "It looks like a beautiful day outside. Maybe we can go for a walk before we pick Emily up from the airport?" she suggested, kissing his shoulder.

Cal grumbled sleepily and pulled Gill closer to him, using both of his arms to hold her in place, earning him a bright smile from his bride to be.

"Or we could just snuggle, if you'd prefer," she laughed softly, closing her eyes again. "Do you want breakfast in bed?" she offered.

Cal shook his head. "I don't think we should call room service again," he mumbled, making Gill blush. By the time they'd realised the phone was off the hook the person on the other end had hung up, but she was sure they must have heard something.

"Good point," she conceded. "Are you looking forward to seeing Emily?" she asked.

Cal nodded, slowly waking up still. "Yeah, I've missed her," he admitted.

"Me too," Gill smiled. "When she gets here can I take her shopping?" she asked.

"You're going to send me bankrupt, woman," Cal complained. Not that he'd mind.

"You like me to have nice clothes, don't you?" Gill asked with a knowing smile. "Plus, you don't have to worry, I'll put it on my credit card," she said.

"They're all going to be joint accounts in a few days," Cal reminded Gill. They'd made the arrangements the week before, and were just waiting until after the wedding to finalise them with Gill's new name.

"You're more awake than I gave you credit for," Gill smiled, pressing a kiss to the corner of Cal's mouth.

"Can't put one over me, love," Cal replied with a smile. "You and Em go shopping and enjoy yourselves. Don't worry about the money. I want her back for dinner, though. I want to take my girls out."

Gill smiled. "You know what I'm looking forward to?" she asked.

"Honeymoon?" Cal suggested. They'd chosen the destination together, and hadn't had any problems agreeing on where they wanted to go.

Gill shook her head. "No... well, yes, but more than that." She paused for a second. "Just being at home and things going back to normal. Waking up next to you in the morning and having lazy Sundays in bed with the newspaper, doing the crossword together and just enjoying our normal routine."

Cal smiled, his eyes still closed. "Em used to love coming in for cuddles on Sunday mornings," he told Gill. "I'd wake up and there'd be this cheeky little face about half an inch from mine asking me if I was awake yet. She was so cute back then. She'd be dragging her doll around by its hair and trying to convince me to make her pancakes for breakfast."

"You do make good pancakes," Gill smiled, licking her lips at the thought. "Even if you insist on wearing that floral apron of yours when you do it."

"I've told you before, I think it's quite becoming," Cal smiled.

"I wish you'd let me buy you something a bit more masculine," Gill said, running her finger gently over the stubble on his cheek.

"I don't need one more masculine," Cal replied. "That's a chick magnet, that apron."

"Oh, is it?" Gill asked, stifling a giggle.

"It got me you, didn't it?" Cal asked with a cheeky grin.

Gill smiled. "I'm not entirely sure that's accurate."

"The ring on your finger and the hickey on your neck might suggest otherwise," Cal smirked. Of course, he knew that Gill was only his as much as she wanted to be. He'd never try to control her, and they both knew that. He was hers as much as she was his. That's how they both wanted it.

Gill poked her tongue out. "I love you," she told Cal.

"I love you, too," he replied sincerely, and Gill wondered if there were sweeter words in the English language.


	15. One Word

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

As promised, another chapter very soon after the previous one. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, some of you are reviewing every chapter and I really appreciate the support and encouragement. Including what's already been posted and what I've written ahead of time and am storing on my computer I've now written a bit over 27 000 words for this story. A bit longer than the single chapter I'd originally thought I'd write :P I have a feeling the end of this chapter might provoke a reaction.

* * * * *

Later that afternoon Cal and Gill picked Emily up from the airport. Cal had thoroughly embarrassed Emily, showering her with hugs and kisses while Gill had smiled politely and waited her turn to give Emily a quick hug. Emily noticed she seemed a little distant, but didn't think anything of it, putting it down to Gill not wanting her to embarrass her the way her father had.

As soon as they were in the car Emily started chattering away about school and how much she hated Math and wished she could just do English and History instead of all of the other subjects they made her take. Gill listened intently, as she always did when Emily spoke, and offered to help her with her Math homework. It wasn't unusual for Gill to lend a hand, she'd always been bright, and it took her a while sometimes, but eventually she was almost always able to recall how to do whatever it was Emily was trying to accomplish. The teenager smiled. "Thanks," she replied. "Man, if you guys ever have babies, they're going to be geniuses," she decided. She'd known about Sophie, but it didn't really click that maybe the reason they'd tried to adopt was because Gill couldn't have kids.

"Emily, not every couple that gets married has to have babies," Gill said, a little snappy.

Emily looked genuinely surprised. Gillian had never been anything but sweet and patient with her, and as she opened her mouth to speak she found herself on the receiving end of a warning look from her father in the rear view mirror. She closed her mouth and looked out the window silently.

The rest of the car trip passed in uncomfortable silence, and when they arrived at the hotel Cal got out and handed the keys to the rental car to the valet. A bell boy came and collected Emily's luggage and he walked over to the front desk. "Em, I thought you and Gill could share a room," he told her. "You're not going to want to share with me, and I don't want you in by yourself."

"Dad, I don't think that's such a good idea..." Emily said quietly, glancing over at Gillian, who was waiting near the elevator.

"You'll be 'right, Em," he assured her. "She's just a bit touchy at the moment. Probably best not to bring up any little additions to the family, okay?" he suggested gently.

"Because of Sophie?" Emily asked curiously.

Cal took the key to the additional room and nodded slightly. "Something like that," he agreed, ruffling her hair a bit then kissing the top of her head. "Just try not to talk about it, okay?" he requested.

Emily nodded her agreement and walked over, linking arms with Gill. She wasn't going to let Gill be upset with her. "Looks like we're roomies until the wedding," she smiled.

Cal and Gill had discussed the arrangement before they'd even left DC, but that didn't change the fact that Gill would rather be sleeping with Cal. She slept horribly without him and as much as she loved Emily she needed to be with Cal at the moment. "Your dad thought it would be best," she replied.

"I like the idea," Emily smiled. "Do you have any more romance novels? I read the ones you leant me from cover to cover already. I seriously think I'm in love with Blake from that last one," she said with a sigh.

"Oh, great," Cal replied, rolling his eyes. "You too?"

Emily turned and shrugged, beaming at Cal. "They make me happy," she explained, and Gill's head whipped around to face the two of them.

Cal looked at Gill then, holding her gaze. They were both thinking the same thing. Emily had learnt that from Gill.

"What'd I say?" Emily asked nervously, looking back and forth between the two adults.

Cal smiled. "Nothing, Em," he assured her, gesturing for them to get on the elevator when it arrived and stepping in behind them.

"I was thinking you might like to go shopping this afternoon," Gill told Emily with a smile, trying to make things go back to 'normal'.

Emily smiled. "Shopping tomorrow, pool today?" she suggested. "There were some really cute guys in the lobby and they had towels with them..."

Cal cleared his throat to remind her he was still there. "Not bloody likely," he told Emily.

"But Dad..." Emily protested.

"And this is exactly why you're sharing a room with Gill," he told her. "She might be more lenient than me, but at least you'll be under adult supervision. Absolutely no boys. I'm just waiting until you're old enough that I can send you off to live in a convent," he informed her.

Emily turned and looked at Gill pleadingly. "Sorry, Emily," Gill apologised. "Your Dad's already made his decision."

"Can't you change his mind?" Emily asked hopefully.

"Probably, but I'm not going to," she told her. "It's not my place to get involved."

"But you're going to be my stepmother in a few days," Emily replied. "Surely you get some say, too. _Please_, Mum?" she requested, not trying to be manipulative, but completely forgetting about Cal's earlier instruction to lay off the subject of Gill having kids.

Gill gasped quietly as she stopped and stared at Emily. The use of that one word had taken her breath away.


	16. Warming Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

A continuation of the last chapter. Quite a bit more Emily for those of you who have said you like her, and plenty of Emily/Gill 'mother'-daughter stuff. The baby drama is going to continue in the next chapters, but for long-term I've also written some that see Cal and Gill go through some good times, too.

* * * * *

Emily brought her hand to her mouth the second she realised what she said, and Cal looked at Gill, wide-eyed and waiting to see what was going to happen. The elevator doors opened and he ushered Emily out, watching as Gill stared at her, her mouth open. She swallowed hard and Cal gently took her by the arm, leading her out of the elevator.

"Come on, love," he said gently. He'd deal with Emily later.

Gill was overwhelmed with emotion, and she didn't know whether the tears that were threatening to fall were the product of grief that she'd never have a daughter who could legitimately call her that, or elation that Emily felt like she was her other mother.

"Gill, I'm really sorry," Emily apologised sincerely. "I didn't mean to upset you, it just sort of came out... Dad told me not to push it and out it came anyway..."

Gill felt Cal's fingers link with her own, holding her hand as he lead her to their room. "It's okay, sweetie," she assured her softly, finding her voice. "I know you didn't mean any harm."

When they got into the room Emily wrapped her arms around Gill in a bone-crunching hug. "I didn't mean to make you cry," she said. "I'm so sorry, Gill."

"Em, it's alright," Gill tried to assure her, holding the girl close and closing her eyes. "I love you to bits. I've been called a lot worse things in my life than 'mum'."

Emily continued to hold onto Gillian, wanting to make sure she was alright before she let go. When she did she studied Gill's face carefully, in a way that was not entirely dissimilar to the way her father did. Apparently it was hereditary. She pressed a soft kiss to Gill's cheek and looked at her carefully again, hesitating before she leant in to whisper. "I love you, too. Sophie would have been a lucky little girl."

Cal could have strangled Emily when he heard the whispered mention of Sophie's name. When would she ever learn?!

Gill reacted quite differently to the way her future husband had anticipated, smiling through the tears. "Thank you, Emily. I'm glad you think so," she told her softly, smoothing Emily's hair back off her face. "I really tried, and if nothing else I know she would have been the most loved little girl in the world if I'd been lucky enough to keep her. I was very blessed to be her mother, even if it was only for a short time."

Gill's words made Emily start to cry, and Gillian laughed softly. "Come on, not you, too," she said gently, wiping a tear from Emily's cheek. "Your poor father. Look at the two of us."

Emily smiled, although still slightly teary, and hugged Gill again. "I think this calls for chocolate pudding."

Gill grinned. Now _those _were words she liked.

* * * * *

Later that night Gill and Emily were settling into their respective beds after having dinner with Cal. Things had settled down after their earlier problems and everyone had ended up enjoying themselves.

"Gill?" Emily said, propping her head up slightly on her arm.

"Yes, sweetie?" Gill asked, resting her head on her pillow and looking across the room at Cal's daughter.

"I don't want to upset you, but I really do wish I could call you Mum," she told her. "I know Mum would have a fit if she found out, but I think of you that way, you know. You've always been there for me- maybe even more than Mum. I can talk to you about stuff that I can't speak to her about and you always tell me the truth. I appreciate that."

Gill smiled. "It means a lot to me that you said that, Emily," she told her. "It's not your mum's fault. Our relationship is just... different. There are some things it's just hard for kids to talk to their parents about. I'm glad you feel like you can talk to me about them, though. I try to listen and be impartial. It's hard sometimes, though."

"You're good at it... And good at trying to talk some sense into Dad. He's so overprotective sometimes. I don't understand why he can't just trust me."

"His intentions are good," Gill assured Emily. "He wants you to be safe and happy, that's all. He sees things most people don't, and he does his best to let you have a 'normal' life and let you get away with things even when he knows you're not being completely truthful with him." They'd talked about it, and Cal was trying to accept that Emily's behaviour was just part of growing up and learning who she was.

"I know," Emily replied. "I don't think I ever had a chance of having a 'normal' upbringing, but I get that he tries. I know he loves me. I wish he knew he was a good Dad, though. It really upset me when he called the other morning."

"That was partially my fault," Gill admitted. "He took something I said the wrong way. I'd never call him a bad father."

"You guys seem like you're fighting a lot lately," Emily commented. "Are you going to be okay? You used to be really happy together."

Gill tucked her hair behind her ears. "I guess part of it's the wedding," she said. "It's stressful trying to make sure everything is arranged and going to go to plan. Apart from that we've just had a bit of a disagreement over something. I promise it's nothing to worry about, we're sorting it out." She hoped Emily would leave it at that.

Emily made a knowing little noise, like everything was falling into place. "I get it now," she told Gill.

"I'm not sure you do, but I really shouldn't be having this conversation with you, Em. It's something your Dad and I have to sort out on our own, and if the decision affects you then we can all talk about it together. I don't think he'd be very happy with me talking to you about it behind his back when we've both agreed not to bring it up again until after the honeymoon. It's not really fair, is it?" she asked.

"You always tell me the truth, though," Emily protested.

"And I will," Gill assured Emily. "When the time's right. Not now. I promise one day we'll sit down and I'll tell you everything."

"Okay," Emily agreed reluctantly. "But don't think I won't hold you to it. I always get it out of you eventually."

Gill laughed and smiled. "I guess it runs in the family," she commented.

Emily smiled back and rearranged her pillow. "Night, Gill. Love you," she told her, turning the bedside light off.

"I love you, too, Em," Gill replied, closing her eyes. Later that night, when she missed Cal and she couldn't sleep, she still had Emily's words to keep her warm.


	17. Cocky Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

A bit of harmless flirting and some serious dialogue.... This is a HUGE chapter.

* * * * *

When Cal woke up the next morning he rolled over in bed, half expecting to find Gill next to him. He frowned when he remembered she was sharing a room with Emily until the wedding. _'Just a few more days now,' _he thought. _'Then we'll have the rest of our lives together... How on earth is she going to put up with me for that long?' _he wondered. He rolled out of bed, his feet hitting the soft carpet on the hotel room floor, and padded into the bathroom to get showered and ready for the day. He stood in front of the mirror, his shirt off, and inspected his new tattoo carefully. The design was intricate, and he loved having Gill with him all of the time. His eyes fell to the blank banner that he was hoping to have filled with their child's name and he thought back over their discussions from the previous few days. Gill really confused him sometimes. He wished he had the knowledge of human behaviour that she had. Yes, he could read facial expressions and body language, and he was a master at the long con and manipulating people in certain ways, but it was Gill who really had the expertise in knowing how the human mind worked and why. He really hoped that between the two of them, he and Gill's mother could convince Gill that trying for a child together was the right thing, and that it would make them both incredibly happy. He knew he couldn't push, though. This was delicate ground he was treading, and he didn't want to hurt Gill in the process.

Leaning closer to the mirror he looked at his face, running his hand over his cheek and chin. His facial hair was growing out again after his shave the previous morning, and the stubble there was rough against his hand. He'd never been a huge fan of his face without the whiskers, and he was glad Gill seemed to like it. Alec had always been clean-shaven and Gill had told Cal on numerous occasions that she preferred a bit of scruff on a man. Apparently it was masculine, rugged and 'incredibly sexy'. He was pretty sure she'd thought of those adjectives after one too many late nights reading romance novels, but he wasn't complaining. If she liked masculine men and it was something he was better at than Alec then Cal was more than happy to oblige. He smirked a little when he thought of the way, on multiple occasions, that she'd purred in his ear how much she loved it, and groaned quietly at the thought of what normally followed. He wished she could join him in the shower. Padding back out into the bedroom he picked up his phone and sent her a text message, hoping she'd already be awake. _'Missed sleeping next to you last night. Stubble's grown back. Thinking about the noises you make when it scratches you when I kiss your neck.' _That should be an interesting wake up call for her. Grinning a little, he walked back into the bathroom and got into the shower to clean up for the day.

Gill was awake and laying in bed when Cal sent her the text. She was switching between reading a magazine quietly and glancing over to see how peaceful Emily looked when she was asleep. She really did wish Emily was her daughter. Hearing her phone beep quietly she reached out and read the text message from Cal, smiling and shaking her head. Trust Cal to be thinking like that first thing in the morning. Her thoughts quickly turned from maternal to more mature as she pondered what she should write back. Deciding not to let her mind wander too far with Emily asleep on the other side of the room she kept her response tame. _'Missed you too. Can't sleep properly without you. Love you and your stubble. Looking forward to good morning kisses xoxo'. _She hit send and laid back in bed with a content sigh. She was so lucky.

By the time his phone beeped Cal was out of the shower. He tucked his towel around his waist and went over to check Gill's message, not surprised she hadn't let it get raunchy. He scratched the stubble they'd been discussing before he wrote back. _'Just got out of shower. Only wearing towel. Need your help.'_

Gill raised an eyebrow when she read Cal's response. _'How would I explain that to Emily?'_

Cal picked up his phone again when Gill's text came through and smirked. _'Get your mind out of the gutter. I don't know what to wear to your parents' house today.'_

Gill smiled. She knew Cal had chosen to phrase it like that on purpose. _'Jeans are fine. The kids will be there, you'll probably end up getting dirty.'_

Cal frowned at the mention of Gill's niece and nephew. He wasn't sure how well she was going to handle that today. _'Thanks, love. Give me a call when you two are almost ready?' _he wrote back.

'_Come up now. We can sit on the balcony, we won't wake Emily' _Gill wrote back. She missed Cal and was keen to have some one on one time with him while she could.

'_Alright. I'll bring coffee. See you soon.'_ Cal wrote back before moving around the room to get dressed.

Gill got out of bed quietly then and moved around the room, gathering clothes to wear for the day. After a quick shower she pulled on a pair of jeans and a pale blue top that brought out her eyes. She considered putting on make-up then decided against it, only dabbing some concealer on the hickey Cal had given her the day before, then pulling her hair back in a messy pony tail. She could put make-up on her face later if she felt like it, but for now she was happy without- Cal seemed to prefer her without it when they were at home anyway. She'd always suspected that it was because without it he was able to see the movements in her face better, but he'd never confirmed or denied her suspicions.

Gill was doing a final check in the mirror when she heard a quiet knock on the door and it took her half a second to fling it open silently, launching herself at Cal and pressing her lips to his in a searing kiss.

Cal was almost bowled over when Gill came at him, glad he managed to keep a hold on their coffees without spilling them. He hadn't expected the greeting, but it was more than welcome, and it didn't take long for him to have Gill pressed up against the wall in the hotel corridor, even with his hands full.

Gill worried briefly about the fact they were in a public place, but decided it was early and the chances of anyone spotting them were minimal. She ran her hands over Cal's cheeks, shivering lightly when she felt how rough they were, and moved one hand down to run over his chest while she kissed him. She gradually eased off, turning the kiss from steamy to slow and gentle, before breaking it altogether. "Good morning, Dr. Lightman," she said softly, smiling at Cal.

"It is now," Cal grinned, stepping back a little before planting another soft kiss on Gill's lips. "Let's go in," he suggested, shoving the door open with his toe.

Gill wrapped her arms around Cal from behind and walked with him, making movement awkward for both of them. "I missed you last night," she complained quietly. She wondered when she got so clingy. She pressed a soft kiss to the back of Cal's neck then let go so they could walk through the room properly, common sense prevailing.

When they were out on the balcony Cal set their coffees down and made himself comfortable in a chair, patting his lap for Gill to sit on it. It didn't take much encouragement to get the brunette settled there. "Just a few more nights now, love," he promised her. "Then you'll be stuck with my snoring every night for the rest of our lives."

Gill laughed quietly. "How romantic," she replied playfully, picking up one of the coffees and sipping it. She pulled a face then handed the cup to Cal before picking up the one that was intended for her. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, drinking their coffees and looking out over the balcony at the view.

"You going to be alright today?" Cal eventually asked Gill, breaking the silence.

Gill looked puzzled for a moment before she realised Cal was referring to seeing her brother's children. "I'll be fine," she smiled, putting on a brave face. "Cal, I'm not going to fall to pieces every time I see someone with a child," she told him. "I've been going through this for years. You learn to deal."

"Alright," Cal agreed, holding his hands up in surrender. "Sorry."

Gill sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get defensive," she apologised. "You don't need to wrap me up in cotton wool, though. I love Benji and Jamie. I'm glad David has them, they make him happy. What sort of sister would I be if I resented him for having two adorable little children?" she asked.

"You're only human, love," Cal reminded her gently. "But, if you say you're fine, then I believe you. I'm not even going to look at your face," he promised, leaning in to kiss her neck and scratch it with his stubble as a way to change the subject.

Gill giggled quietly then shivered lightly. "God I love it when you do that," she purred.

"I know," Cal smiled, kissing her there again.

"It's so sexy," Gill told him. "You're all rugged and manly."

Cal chuckled quietly. "So you've told me."

"Well, I really like it," Gill blushed.

Cal smiled. "Good," he told her. Then, unable to stop himself... "You know I'm good at producing other manly man stuff, too," he told her, massaging Gill's shoulders gently.

Gill sighed and her body tensed. "Cal, you promised we wouldn't talk about it until after the honeymoon," she said.

"I can't help it, love," Cal defended himself, trying to soothe her by continuing to work on her shoulders. "We know my... 'contribution' would be fine. We have proof of that asleep inside. Yours might be, too. We don't know. If not, you went to medical school. You know there are doctors who could help us conceive. We could do this. You and me. You can take time off work so you're relaxed and your body's ready for it. I can help you out at home more to take some of the pressure off..."

"So you're saying since you're a 'manly' man your reproductive capabilities are fine? I'm sorry if I'm not woman enough to give you a baby, Cal," she said, standing up.

Cal reached out and took hold of Gill's wrist, not wanting her to walk away. "Gill, that's not fair," he told her, his tone firm but calm. "I never said that and you know I didn't mean it. You're a beautiful, intelligent, brilliant, sexy woman, and whether or not you can conceive and carry a child to term has absolutely nothing to do with that. It doesn't make you any less of a woman. It just happens to some people, the same way some people are short-sighted or have diabetes. The only difference is that your condition- if you have one- is one that affects you on a more emotional level than having to wear glasses or take insulin injections. Please don't make out that that's what you think of you. You know it's not. I love you, and you're the most amazing, perfect woman I've ever met. Now, come on, sit back down, love," he encouraged, gently pulling her arm.

Gillian remained standing for a little while then relented, sitting back down on Cal's lap. "You don't know what it's like to have your body fail you at doing something women have been doing since the beginning of time," she told him.

"You're right, love, I don't," Cal agreed, stroking her back soothingly. "I do believe we can find a way to do this, though. Can we at least look into adoption? I can't imagine anything that would make you more of an amazing woman than dedicating your life to raise a child that doesn't have a mother who's willing or able to care for it the way she should. We don't have to go to Delaware this time, we can look somewhere where once we've got him or her that baby is ours forever. Like Florida. If the chid is under six months old the birth mother's rights are terminated as soon as she signs the contract and the adoption is final."

"You've looked into this?" Gill asked, somewhat surprised.

"I knew we might have problems and I wanted to keep my options open," Cal admitted. "This means a lot to me, and I thought it meant a lot to you, too. I never pictured our life together without trying to have a child in it in some way."

"You have a child," Gill told him.

"_We _have a child," Cal corrected Gill. "But I want one with you and only you. Nothing will ever change how much I love Emily, but she's Zoe's daughter too. I want us to have a child that's just ours. One with you as its only mother. Gill, I know you. Nobody knows you better than I do. I _know _you were born for this, and I know how badly you want it. Please don't let fear of failure prevent you from taking the opportunity to be as happy as you possibly could be. I promise I'll support you through this, no matter what. You know I'll always be here for you. Don't make me beg."

Gill closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. Cal was the most stubborn, infuriating man she knew sometimes. "I thought we agreed not to talk about it until after the honeymoon," she reminded him again.

"It came up," Cal told her. "I didn't do it on purpose. Please, Gill. I want you to be happy. Can we put our names down with a few adoption agencies and just see what happens? Just give them our details and if something comes up then that's great, but if not we're not any worse off than we are now. No expectations, just a casual kind of approach to it."

"A casual approach?" Gill asked, raising an eyebrow. "Cal, really? Did you think that was going to work with me?"

"It was worth a shot," he replied, his voice somewhat childlike. "Look, I know you're scared, but think of how happy you'd be if this worked. We'd have our own little family. You, me, and baby Richard."

Gill laughed despite her irritation with Cal. "Richard Lightman? Really?" she asked, amused that Cal had actually thought of a name for the child they hadn't even agreed to have yet. "Why Richard?" 

"I thought you wouldn't argue with me if I wanted to name it after the inventor of the slushie," Cal grinned. "Richard R. Slush invented... discovered, whatever... he came up with the idea of slushies after he drank orange juice he'd left in the freezer."

"Oh my god," Gillian laughed, shaking her head. "You want me to bring a child into the world with a man who wants to name it after the inventor of the slushie?" she asked.

"Hey, I thought you'd like it," Cal protested with a grin. He'd really only done it to make Gill smile. "Plus, I didn't say we had to bring a child into the world. I told you I'd be perfectly happy adopting."

Gill's laughter eventually subsided and she rested her head on Cal's shoulder with a content sigh. "What if it was a girl?" she asked.

"Zoe," Cal replied as if it was the obvious answer, earning himself a firm slap on the thigh.

"Ow!" Cal complained, rubbing his leg. Gill hadn't really hurt him.

"You deserved that," she smiled, poking her tongue out at him.

"Mmm... Kinky. I liked it," Cal grinned. Gill rolled her eyes. "Alright, what would you call it if it was a girl?" Cal asked, turning serious again. He was surprised they'd made it this far into the conversation, and he had to admit it scared him. He didn't want to get either of their hopes up, and he knew this was dangerous territory.

"Claire," Gill smiled, watching Cal's face for a reaction.

"Claire was my mother's name," he told Gill.

"I know, honey," she smiled, running her finger over the ridge on his forehead where he had his brow furrowed. She kissed the spot she'd run her finger over then, and stroked his cheek again. "I know losing her still affects you, and I think it would be nice to do something to honour her memory."

Cal smiled sadly. "That's a nice thought, but I don't want our little girl to start life tied to something that affected me so much," he admitted. "I'd like to see us have a fresh start. Not name the baby after anyone. Let him or her be their own person without living in someone else's shadow."

"That's fair," Gill agreed, kissing next to Cal's eye this time. "Maybe we should give it some thought."

"Doesn't that mean...?" Cal asked.

"I said maybe," Gillian reminded him. "And it's a BIG maybe. You're a very determined man when you want something, aren't you?" she asked.

"It's part of my charm," Cal grinned. Gill rolled her eyes and shook her head with an amused smile at his cocky words.


	18. ThoughtProvoking Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Ok, I don't know how you guys are feeling about the baby drama and if it's getting old. Of course, the whole point was to get back to where they were in Chapter 1, but I don't know if you think things are taking too long, or if I should make some detours on the way. Right now I have a few more chapters to come of baby stuff, then one that I don't know if I'll post (in case you're bored of it) and that'll be followed by chapters that are focussed on other things with a fleeting mention of having kids, or no mention at all. If you could hit the little review button at the bottom of the page and let me know where you stand that'd really help. Thanks!!

In this chapter I'm delivering on the promise for more Cal/Gill's Mum. Enjoy!

* * * * *

Cal and Gill had waited for Emily to wake up of her own accord, talking on the balcony until she did. Cal didn't expect they'd start trying for a child right away, but he did feel more like Gill was coming around to his way of thinking. By the time Emily came out to find them they were talking quietly to each other, Gill touching Cal's arm and chest gently as she spoke, while Cal had his arms around her holding her close and occasionally planting a kiss on whatever p art of her body happened to be closest at the time.

"Morning," Emily announced her presence innocently, glad to see her father and Gill were getting along again.

"Sorry Em," Gill apologised, getting up off Cal's lap. She didn't want to make Emily feel uncomfortable, although she didn't really think there was any reason for her to feel that way. They weren't doing anything inappropriate, and it was probably good for Emily to see two adult influences in her life being affectionate and caring. "Did you sleep well?" she asked, her voice and posture extremely relaxed as she sat down on a chair by herself.

"Yeah, thanks," Emily replied, walking over and kissing her Dad's cheek. "You didn't have to move, Gill. It kind of weirds me out, but it's better than seeing you fight. It's kind of sweet... You know, if Dad wasn't my Dad."

Gill laughed and Cal looked perplexed. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Gill told her. "I think it's best if I just stay here."

Emily shrugged, not willing to argue the point. "So, beach today?" she tried. "Or the pool, maybe? Gill, you could work on your tan for the wedding."

Gill smiled and shook her head. "Emily, you know your father said no to the pool," she reminded her. "And you shouldn't be tanning. It leads to premature ageing and skin cancer. I know you don't want to get sick, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to end up with wrinkles and bad skin before you really have to, do you?"

Emily looked at Gill sceptically. "Seriously?" she asked. Everybody did it.

"Yes, seriously," Gill replied. "You have lovely skin, you should protect it."

Emily fought the urge to roll her eyes, but had to admit that Gill did have a point. "Okay, no tanning," she agreed. "Please can we go to the pool, though?"

"Gill's parents have a pool," Cal spoke up. "We're going there today so she can spend some time with her family."

"Family?" Emily asked. "More than just your parents?"

Gill nodded. "David, Joanne, Benji and Jamie will be there, too," she told Emily, referring to her brother, his wife and their two children.

"Oh..." Emily replied. This probably wasn't going to end well.

"Emily, don't," Gill told her gently. "It's fine. I love my niece and nephew. I'm excited to see them again. I wished I saw them more often, they're growing so fast these days."

"Okay," Emily replied, half defensive, half sceptical. "I'm just going to have a shower and get dressed, then can we get some breakfast, please?" she requested. "I'm starving!"

"Yep," Cal replied. "Pack your stuff, too, Em. You've got twenty minutes before I want to be out the door," he called after her as she disappeared inside. He refrained from asking Gill exactly how much Emily knew about their situation. "You covered your love bite," he commented, touching it lightly so he wouldn't disturb the make-up she'd used.

"I couldn't let your bad boy behaviours affect my good girl reputation, could I?" Gillian asked with a smile.

"Point taken," Cal agreed.

* * * * *

Upon arrival at Gill's parents' house, they were greeted by two very excited children, both of whom launched themselves at Gill the moment they saw her.

"Unnie Gill!" Jamie yelled excitedly, still unable to pronounce the word 'aunty'.

Gill bent down to hug and kiss her niece and nephew, picking Jamie up easily and letting her settle on her hip as she stood. "How's the most beautiful little girl in the world?" she asked Jamie, her free hand brushing brown curls back off the little girl's face.

Jamie grinned. "Gooooood," she told Gill cheekily, placing a slobbery kiss on her aunt's cheek.

"Do you remember Cal and Emily?" Gill asked, gesturing to them.

Benji nodded and walked up to shake Cal's hand the way he'd been taught.

"Well, those are some nice manners you've got there," Cal smiled, shaking Benji's hand. "How are you doing, young man?"

Benji shrugged a little and smiled before turning his attention to Emily and squinting at her. "Who dat?" he asked Cal curiously, tugging on his jeans.

"That's my daughter, Emily. You met her when you were very little," Cal informed him.

Benji shrugged again. "'kay," he replied. "We play trains now," he instructed Cal, grabbing hold of his hand and attempting to pull him into the living room.

Cal glanced at Gill, then said a quick hello to her mother before allowing himself to be tugged into the next room.

Gill smiled and kissed Jamie's cheek before kissing her mother hello. "Hi, mum," she said, doing her best to hug her with the toddler in her arms.

"Hello, sweetheart," Gill's mother replied. She was amazed at how naturally being with children seemed to come to Gill. She couldn't believe her daughter was actually considering giving up on having a family. Seeing Gill with children was like seeing most people with arms or legs. They were completely natural and an effortless extension of their bodies and who they were. "Hello, Emily," she said, turning her attention to Cal's daughter. "Please, come in. Can I get you something to drink?" she asked.

"No. Thank you," Emily replied, shaking her head. Gill's family had always been incredibly welcoming towards her, and she enjoyed spending time with them, but she was still a little shy when it came to speaking to them- she didn't, after all, know them very well.

"Well, everyone's in the living room," Gill's mother said. "Come in, make yourself comfortable. Do you want to put your bag somewhere where the children won't get at it?" she offered. "There's a room just down the hall. If you close the door it will be safe there," she assured Emily.

"Here, Em, I'll show you," Gill offered, walking towards the room and waiting for Emily to follow.

Emily walked a few paces behind Gillian, her bag in tow. "Your family's so nice," she commented, stepping into the room behind Gill and setting her bag down on the floor just inside the door.

"Thank you," Gill smiled. "They all like you a lot. Even you, don't you, munchkin?" she asked Jamie, tickling her a little.

Jamie giggled and hid her face against Gill's shoulder, suddenly shy.

Emily nodded a little and offered Gill a half shrug. "Come on," Gill encouraged. "Let's go back out and you can see everyone else," she encouraged Emily, stopping to make sure Emily closed the door to the room as they left.

When Gill stepped into the living room her father was up off the couch in half a second. It had only been two days since she'd seen him, but every time he greeted her he acted like it had been years. "Gillybean!" he said, wrapping her up in a firm hug. "How's my favourite girl?" he asked, backing off to let Gill move.

"I'm good, Dad. How are you?" Gill asked.

"Good!" he replied, turning his attention to Emily. "And here's young Emily. How are you doing? Did you have a good flight?" he asked, not quite feeling she'd be receptive of a hug.

"I'm good, thanks, Mr. Buchannan," Emily replied politely.

"Please, call me George," he instructed her with a smile. "Now, sit down, make yourself at home," he told her, expecting Gill to do the same without being instructed to do so. When he turned his attention back to his daughter he noticed she'd greeted the rest of the family and was now settled in peacefully with Jamie on her lap.

Emily took a seat near Cal, watching him play trains with Benji, and couldn't work out why either of them could possibly not want children. Her father was good with them, and it seemed he always had been, and Gill's ability with them was obvious to anyone. She sighed quietly, perplexed.

* * * * *

After lunch Cal had volunteered to help Gill's mother with the dishes while the others played with the children outside. While he was meant to be drying, Diane Buchannan caught Cal staring longingly out the window at them.

"I'm sure she'll come around," she told him gently.

"I hope so," Cal replied quietly, continuing to dry the dishes and stack the plates as he went.

"Just look at her," Diane said. "She can't help herself. I've never met someone more suited to motherhood in my life. It makes you wonder what God was thinking, making it so hard for her to conceive. The Lord works in mysterious ways," she sighed, shaking her head.

Cal wasn't sure he really believed in 'that religious mumbo-jumbo', as he called it, but he did respect Gill's mother's beliefs. "Life can be a real b..." he trailed off. He hadn't meant to swear in front of her.

Diane smiled reassuringly. "You can say it. It's a bitch sometimes," she said, laughing gently and Cal's discomfort.

"I just don't get it," Cal admitted. "She does _every _bloody thing right." His frustration was showing in his choice of language, even with Gill's mother. He'd normally be a lot more careful with the words he used. "She studied hard in school, she's generous, friendly, polite... She volunteers her time for charities and there's _nothing_ she wouldn't do to help a friend in need. Why can't she have the one thing she wants?" he asked. "How is that fair?"

"It's not," Diane agreed. "But right now Gill's her own worst enemy. _She's_ what's stopping her from having a family. She can't expect to get what she wants if she refuses to try for it," she said, handing Cal the last of the plates.

Cal took the plate, drying it carefully. "We promised we wouldn't talk about it again until after the honeymoon because it was upsetting her, but it keeps coming up," he told Diane. "I don't want to see her upset, but I know how much we both want this. I'm trying to push gently without hurting her, and every now and then it feels like we're getting somewhere, but it's like chipping away at Mount Rushmore with a toothpick. This could take years, and it's not like we have that sort of time. I'm not getting any younger, and Gill'll be 40 in a year or two. It's only going to get harder the longer we wait."

"Maybe she just needs the right sort of encouragement," Mrs. Buchannan suggested. "My Gill's always been a stubborn one." 

Cal scratched his cheek. "Yeah," he agreed. Her words made him think. He just wished he knew what the right encouragement was.


	19. Without Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

This is one of the chapters that I wasn't sure I'd share. The reason I've gone ahead and posted it was because some of you were keen to see Cal and Gill with a child.... the only catch is, it's not theirs. Also, nobody's mentioned the wedding or the honeymoon in reviews (thank goodness!!), so I haven't written them into the story, I've just skimmed over them. Next chapter will see the newly-married Lightmans back at work, just for something different.

* * * * *

When it came time to go home everyone had said their goodbyes except for Jamie. "Noooo," the little girl complained, pouting. "I go with Unnie Gill," she said stubbornly, refusing to let go.

"Oh, sweetheart, you can't," Gill told her softly. "I'd love for you to come with me, but you need to stay with Mummy and Daddy, okay?" she said, trying to hand her to her mother despite Jamie's unwillingness to let go of her.

"Why can't she come with us?" Emily asked. "You'd take good care of her, and a sleepover might be fun."

"I don't know about that, Em," Gill said, looking over at her brother and sister-in-law.

Joanne glanced at her husband then nodded. "I can't see why she shouldn't, if you want her to. Emily's right, you'd take good care of her, so we know she'd be safe, and it would be good for her to spend some more time with her aunt- it's obvious she's become quite attached to you."

"I... well..." Gill said, suddenly growing hesitant. She didn't think this was a good idea. It was one thing to play with Jamie all day, but taking her with her and tucking her into bed was going to bring up a lot of similar feelings to the ones she'd had with Sophie.

"I'll help you, love," Cal said gently, resting a reassuring hand on Gill's shoulder. They both knew it was her emotions Gill needed help with, not help taking care of the little girl, but Cal didn't feel the need to bring that up and make things awkward for everyone.

Diane didn't realise it, but she was holding her breath. Maybe a night with Jamie would be what it would take to convince Gill. She weighed up her options briefly before jumping in- risking Gill being upset would be worth it if it convinced her to start a family. "That's very nice of you, Cal," she said politely. "Here, Joanne, I'll help you get Jamie's things ready," she told her, taking charge of the situation and walking upstairs.

Gill stood, looking and feeling a little helpless. It appeared she didn't have a say in the matter, and she wasn't sure she liked where this was going. She knew exactly what her mother was up to and she didn't appreciate it at all.

"You'll be fine, love," Cal assured her quietly when it was only himself, Gill, Jamie and Emily left next to the front door. "I'll be there," he added, wrapping his arms around his fiance's waist. In the process his cheek touched Jamie's arm, causing the little girl to make an odd noise.

"Ouchies!" she complained, pulling her arm away and scowling at Cal. Gill laughed, kissing Jamie's arm better.

"Are you sure that's a good thing, Cal?" she asked him.

Cal ran his hand over his stubble and frowned, trying to take Gill's gentle teasing words as a joke and not let his insecurities about his abilities to take care of a child re-surface.

* * * * *

Emily had spent the drive back to the hotel trying to convince Cal that she should be allowed to sleep in one room by herself while he and Gill had another to look after Jamie. "I'll be fine," she insisted. "And I promise I'll behave. I know this is important. You can get a spare room key and come check on me any time."

Cal had eventually relented, and everyone had moved their things to their respective rooms before Cal, Gill and Jamie said good night to Emily. By the time they were in their room alone Jamie was more than ready for bed- she'd had a big day.

"I go sweepies now," she told Gill, who nodded and sat her down on the bed. "Alright, sweetie," she agreed. Jamie had been bathed and had her teeth brushed at her grandparents' house, so all Gill really had to do was tuck her in. "Do you want a story?" she offered. "Cal knows good stories."

Jamie thought about it carefully. "You too," she insisted. "Tell 'gever."

"You want us to tell you a story together?" Gill asked, earning a nod from the little girl.

Cal walked over and set her in bed, pulling the covers up over Jamie. "You have to be nice and snug first," he told her. "Are you warm enough?" The little girl nodded. "Alright," Cal replied, looking over at Gillian. _'God you're beautiful,' _he thought. "What sort of story do you want?" he asked Jamie.

Jamie thought. "Pwincess and pwince one!" she decided excitedly.

"Blimey," Cal said. "It runs in the family, doesn't it?" he asked Gill. "You lot are always looking for Prince Charming."

Gill smiled and shook her head. "I found mine," she told Cal with a happy sigh and a goofy look on her face. She was deliriously happy. After all these years she knew she'd found her soul mate in Cal. Looking at them individually they weren't the most likely match; Cal was a bad boy and could be a bit of a bastard at times. He had a tendency to break the rules and was constantly getting into trouble. Gill was the good girl and found the best in everything. She followed the rules to the letter, except on the rare occasion she saw breaking them would be for the greater good. Put them together, though, and the chemistry was undeniable. They were completely in sync with each other in every possible way.

Cal smiled at that and reached out to take Gill's hand in his. "Alright," he told Jamie. "Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess."

Gill chimed in then, squeezing Cal's hand. "And a handsome Prince. The prince and his princess lived in a faraway land called Lightman, where they spent every day looking at people making silly faces."

It didn't take long for Cal to cotton on to the fact that Gill was talking about the two of them, and 'Lightman' was 'The Lightman Group'. A nice appropriation, but he couldn't give her many points for originality. "And every day the prince would see the princess walking through the kingdom and say to himself 'That's the most beautiful princess I've ever seen. One day, I'm going to marry her," he told Jamie.

Gill laughed quietly, a slight blush rising to her cheeks when Cal called her beautiful. "But," Gill said. "The yucky witch Zoe was always trying to distract the prince, making him very confused indeed."

"Oi, enough of that," Cal chastised Gillian gently. "That was a low blow."

"Every fairytale needs a bad guy," Gill smiled sweetly.

"Fine," Cal agreed. "The yucky witch wasn't the only person in the town up to mischief," he informed Jamie. "There was also a goblin named Alec, and every time he told lies his nose grew, just like Pinocchio, until one day it grew so big that..."

Gill rolled her eyes, but decided it was only fair- she had, after all, taken a stab at Zoe. "It grew so big from all of the fibs that the princess said she couldn't possibly play with him anymore. Alec was sad, and the princess felt bad, but she knew that telling fibs was wrong and she should try to only play with people who told the truth."

Jamie wasn't really following. The story was far too complicated for her, especially when she was sleepy to begin with. She did recognise the name, though. "Unca Awec?" she suggested. "Hey! Where Unca Awec? He your pwince!" Despite his faults, Alec had always been good to Gill's niece and nephew- at least until they had lost Sophie and he'd gone off the rails.

Gill frowned at Cal. This was his fault. "No, that's a different Alec. Uncle Alec wasn't a goblin, was he?" Cal asked. He was pretty sure Alec was, but he didn't want Jamie to think that.

"Okay... but he your pwince," Jamie reminded Gill with a smile.

"No, Cal's my prince," Gillian told Jamie, brushing the little girl's hair back off her face. "Remember we talked about how we were going to get married? And we're all going to put on pretty dresses and the boys will put on handsome suits and then Cal and I will live happily ever after?"

Jamie nodded a little and rubbed her eyes, snuggling up to Gill. "The end," she informed her, her words slightly muffled by the thumb that had found its way into her mouth. That's what always came after 'happily ever after', wasn't it?

Gillian smiled. "The end," she confirmed with a whisper, leaning over to kiss Jamie good night. She waited a few minutes for the little girl to fall asleep, her fingers moving gently against Cal's until she felt Jamie nod off and she could stand up, carefully moving away and out onto the balcony.

Cal made sure Jamie was tucked in then followed Gill, stepping up beside her as she looked out over the balcony. "Penny for your thoughts, love?" he asked, leaning against the edge.

Gill shook her head but remained silent. Her mind was working to process everything and she really wasn't ready to articulate it yet. She wiped away the lone tear that slipped down her cheek and shifted closer to Cal so their arms were touching.

Cal brought a hand up to rest on Gill's shoulder, massaging it gently. He loved her, and no matter what happened he'd support her through this.

As Gill stared silently into the night, her eyes glistening with unshed tears she couldn't help but think about her relationship with Cal. It never ceased to amaze her how he could comfort her, even without words.


	20. Words of Warning

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Ok, I was in bed trying to fall asleep and I discovered I'd left my speakers on, so every time I received an email notification my computer made a noise. The first one I ignored and rolled over (Hi Angie pear). A minute or two later I considered getting up to fix things after the second one came in (this time from StepFurther), but decided it was too cold to get out of bed. Having heard it go off multiple times in just a few minutes I thought I'd brave the cold and find out what was going on. I'd received that many reviews and messages from awesome readers that I thought I should post another chapter for you all now.... Even if it is 2am and I'm freezing my tush off. Thank you, thank you for the amazing reviews and all of your feedback. It's really encouraging and I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story. Your feedback makes me want to write more, which is exactly what I intend to do! This chapter's a little different to previous ones, and is mostly just setting things up for later chapters.

Anyway... turning my speakers off now, so feel free to keep those reviews rolling in without worrying about disturbing me!

* * * * *

The next few days passed quickly and before either of them could realise, Cal and Gill were husband and wife, and on a plane to their honeymoon. Paris had been the obvious choice. Gillian had been drawn to its reputation for romance and, of course, for excellent food. Cal had only been too happy to oblige, not having been there for quite some time himself, and wanting to do something that would make Gill happy. True to his word, Cal had not spoken another word about children. No mentions of attempting to conceive, no discussion about adoption. The closest they'd come was when Gill had complained about Cal wanting to use condoms on the honeymoon and Cal giving her a look that said she knew why he was doing it, and it wasn't open for discussion.

They'd been back for almost a fortnight when Gill went to visit Cal in his office. She kept the door open when she went in these days, not wanting Loker to get the wrong idea about what they might be doing in there during a work day. "Hey," she smiled, letting herself in and walking over to sit in one of Cal's visitors' chairs. She raised an eyebrow when Cal quickly changed what was on his screen to bring up a report she knew he'd finished the day before. Odd. "Revisions?" she asked, gesturing to it.

Cal nodded. "Yep," he said, letting her see he was lying. That was his way of being honest with her- they both knew he could lie easily and even as well as Gill knew him it was still possible for him to get it past her. When he let her see he was lying, though, he felt that was the same as being honest. It was just a signal for her to not push and ask any further. It was hard for Gill to do that after she'd ignored things with Alec that she should have addressed, but she trusted Cal and didn't probe.

"Oh, okay," the brunette replied, nodding at her husband. "I'll come back," she told him. "Or better yet, why don't you come and see me when you've finished with your..." she hesitated. "Revisions."

"They can wait," Cal assured Gill, turning his screen off altogether. "What's on your mind, love?" he asked.

"It's almost end of the financial year," Gill said. "I'm going to have to work on the budgets for the next 12 months and go through this financial year with the auditors to make sure everything's above board."

Cal nodded. This wasn't unusual, it happened every year. Gill had always handled the finances.

"I was just going to say that I'll probably make a start next week, and if we could make sure Ria and Loker are picking up most of my new cases that'd be good."

"You don't need my permission to do that," Cal said.

"I wasn't asking permission," Gill told him with a smile. "I was letting you know what was going on."

"Good," Cal replied. "We'd be lost without you."

"Personally or professionally?" Gill asked, leaning back in her chair a little.

"Both," Cal grinned, letting his eyes travel slowly up and down his wife's slightly extended form. He loved how comfortable she was around him. "I've been thinking," he said out of the blue. "We should get a dog." He'd tried it on Gill when she was still married to Alec and she'd shot the idea down then.

Gill shook her head no without even a second's worth of though. "A dog is not a replacement for a baby," she informed him. Ah, the b word was back. "Is that what you were looking up on your computer?"

"No," Cal told her honestly. "And it's not _meant_ to replace a baby. I haven't had a dog since I was a kid, and I thought it'd be nice. You're always trying to get me to go on walks and stuff and I figured that'd make me. It's nice coming home to a dog with a wagging tail, and they're kind of interesting emotionally, y'know. Cats are complicated. Dogs are... they're kind of black and white. They're more transparent. Plus, it'd be company for us if either one of us has to work back at night. I like knowing there'd be something there to bark and protect you if I couldn't." It didn't happen much anymore, but they still occasionally left the office at separate times and despite the fact they lived in a safe neighbourhood in a house with an alarm system Cal did worry about Gill.

"It's not going to make me clucky and lead to me giving in," Gill said. Weeks without discussing it had hardened her resolve again, and now Cal was certain he would have to start from square one.

"Why are you so convinced I'm trying to manipulate you?" Cal asked. "When have I ever done that to you before?"

"Let me think. How many times have I been victim to Cal Lightman's long con?" Gill said out loud.

"Work doesn't count. That's not fair," Cal interjected.

"Fine," Gill replied, letting it go. "No dog, though. I know what you're up to, and it's not fair, Cal."

Cal swallowed. Gill's accusation might not be as baseless as he was letting on, but it wasn't the dog he was using as a tool. Even so, their words served as a warning- once he went down this road, he could never take it back.


	21. Playful Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

Thanks again for the reviews and PMs! One very exciting one in particular :) Just something kind of cute and playful.

* * * * *

Cal hadn't brought up about the dog again, deciding that was probably more trouble than it was worth. They were eating dinner a few nights later when Gill smiled across the table at him. "It's your birthday next week," she said, a hint of excitement in her voice.

"I was trying to forget about that," Cal told her, grumbling as he picked up some mashed potato with his fork.

"We can't forget about your birthday," Gill told him. "Birthdays are a reason to celebrate! If not getting older, than the fact that I'm lucky you were born.... Plus, there's cake," she grinned.

Cal rolled his eyes. "You and your bloody cake," he smiled.

"It's yummy," Gill defended herself with a shrug. "Plus, I never get to bake anymore. Please let me make you one?" she implored him. "Any sort you like." Her beautiful blue eyes were sparkling with excitement, and Cal didn't have the heart to turn her down, especially when she looked at him like that.

"Alright," he agreed. "Carrot cake."

"_Carrot _cake?" Gill asked, almost sounding appalled at his choice. "Cal, honey, really? It's your birthday. What about _chocolate_?" she suggested, emphasising the word as if the sweet brown substance had some sort of magical powers that Cal should be enticed by and take advantage of. "Black forest, maybe?"

"I like carrot cake," Cal insisted. "With the white icing on it."

"Cream cheese frosting?" Gill suggested.

"Is that white?" Cal asked.

"Yes."

"Then that," he told her. "And chopped up bits of walnut." When Gill sighed he sat up a little taller."Hey, it's my birthday," he reminded her. "And you said I could have any cake I wanted."

"I didn't think you'd pick _carrot _cake, though," Gill admitted, a slight look of disgust on her face.

"I'm sure it'll be delicious. You're a good cook," Cal replied, continuing to eat his meal. "You've got kind of a Martha Stewart thing going on. Y'know, the sexy homemaker thing. Oh, that's another one. I want you to wear an apron."

Gill snorted at his comment about her being like Martha Stewart. "An apron?" she asked. "Cal, I never wear aprons. I save that for you, sweetheart. How could I compete with your beauty when you wear that delightful floral number?"

"Hey, enough of that," Cal frowned, pretending to be hurt. "I happen to think you'd look very nice in an apron."

Gill knew the difference between real and fake hurt, so she didn't worry about it. "Which really means you've fantasized about me wearing one," she called him on it.

"Maybe..." Cal admitted, reaching over to steal some of Gill's beans.

"Hey!" she complained, swatting his hand gently and grinning at him. "Behave yourself." She reached over and stole a piece of roast beef in retaliation. "What else am I wearing in this little fantasy of yours?" she asked.

"I don't think I want to tell you. You hit me," he pouted.

"I'm sorry. Come here, baby, let me kiss it better," Gill cooed, taking Cal's hand and pressing her lips to it softly. "Boo boo all gone?"

Cal didn't let his mind linger on the fact she'd just reminded him about having kids again. "Yes," he decided, taking his hand back. He had to admit, deep down he kind of liked it when she fussed over him like that... in private, of course.

"Are you going to tell me what else I'm wearing?" Gill asked, her tone still soft, but leaving the baby talk behind.

"No. Just the apron," Cal told Gill.

"Just an apron?" his wife asked, smiling.

"No, you're wearing clothes, I just wasn't going to tell you what else... You're doing that on purpose. Gettin' me all flustered," he complained.

"It didn't really take a great deal of effort," Gill pointed out, unable to hide a self-satisfied smirk. She loved knowing she could affect Cal. "Why won't you tell me?" Cal was normally pretty good at talking about his fantasies if she asked. While Gill was more inclined to only talk about them when things were already getting a bit hot and heavy, she had a way of getting Cal to open up to her in the most innocent of situations. Like now, over a casual dinner.

"I'm busy sulking about being smacked," Cal informed her, his hands on his knife and fork now as he went back to feeding himself.

Gill could have made a racy comment about him liking it, but instead she sighed quietly. "Okay," she replied, ignoring Cal now while she ate her own meal. She'd learnt it was a much more effective means of getting what she wanted than trying to plead with him.

Cal wasn't used to not getting Gill's undivided attention these days. Even when she was working from home she always stopped the second he wanted something from her. Maybe she wasn't too far off base when she started treating him like a small boy- he was, after all, acting a little childish. "A skirt or a dress and high heels," he eventually mumbled, hoping to win her attention back by answering her question.

Gill smiled. Cal was cute when he sulked. It was rare, but adorable. Of course, if it happened too often it would begin to get tiresome, but for now it just made her want to hug him. She let her mind linger on that for a little while before switching it back to being more cool, calm and slightly detached. "Any particular dress or skirt?" she asked casually, like it was no big deal. If she had to make a prediction she'd say the pink dress.

Cal thought about it, chewing carefully on a piece of roast beef. "That top with the flowers on it... roses or whatever they were, and the gray skirt," he decided. "The one you wore the day I got back from that vacation you sent me on."

"Oooh, the day I got the flowers from Jack!" Gill helped him with a smile, teasing a little. Cal scowled. "What?" Gill asked innocently. "Can't a girl like receiving flowers? They make me feel special."

"I buy you flowers," Cal reminded Gill.

"When was the last time you bought me flowers?" she asked. Her tone was more expectant than accusatory.

"Umm..." Cal paused to think, scratching his chin. That was a good question. "Before the wedding,.. Point taken," he conceded, making a mental note to make sure he rectified the situation. "Sorry, love."

"You're forgiven," Gill smiled, rubbing Cal's calf with her foot under the table. "So, back to the outfit. That one? Always? I thought you'd have picked the pink dress."

Cal shook his head. "Nah," he told her. "The pink dress is nice, but it doesn't come up then."

"I'll keep that in mind," Gill smiled, standing up and kissing Cal's cheek as she collected the plate he'd finished eating off. "Do you want to go out for dinner for your birthday, or do you want me to cook? And since it's your birthday Emily will be coming over, right?"

"One of her friends is having a birthday party that night. I told her she should go to that instead," Cal informed Gill, standing up to help her load the dishwasher.

"So it'll just be the two of us. You still need to make a decision, though. Dinner out or at home?"

"Home's good," Cal told Gill. "But I don't want candles and singing with the cake. Just cake."

"I can do that," Gill agreed with a smile, bending over to put the last plate in the dishwasher then standing up and kissing Cal softly. "I love you. Thank you for letting me do something special for you." She knew Cal wasn't really into the fuss, but it was something Gill enjoyed.

"I love you, too," Cal told Gill, closing the dishwasher and turning it on. "Feel like an early night? I taped NCIS."

Gill wasn't really into the military-based crime show, but two of the characters had amazing chemistry, and she had a serious thing for Mark Harmon. "Can you give me half an hour to iron you a shirt for tomorrow and pack lunches?" she requested.

"If you iron I'll pack lunches. We'll get it done in half the time and then you can put your feet up," Cal offered, kissing his wife's cheek. "I wish you'd let me get my shirts dry-cleaned. It'd save you a lot of effort."

"You're so thoughtful," Gill replied, kissing Cal back, her own kiss landing on Cal's lips. "I like washing your shirts myself. It makes me feel like I'm taking care of you," she said.

"Martha Stewart," Cal mumbled, earning a laugh from Gill.

"You call me what you will," she said. "But I know just how much starch and fabric softener to use, and which ones give you that awful rash," the brunette reminded him, her brow furrowing in concern as she remembered how uncomfortable it made him. He seemed to have an allergic reaction to certain types of fabric softener, and Gill was always careful to buy the one that didn't irritate him. She reached out and stroked the skin on the back of his neck soothingly, where it had always seemed to affect him the worst.

"You're right, love," Cal agreed, wrapping his arms around his wife and pressing his lips to hers softly, enjoying her gentle touch. "I do appreciate you taking care of me. You do a good job of it, too," he admitted, genuinely thankful. He gave it a second before he kissed Gill again, lingering this time, and growing slightly firmer. His right hand ran down her back then over her hip before finding its way to her rear.

Gill mmed, her body pressed tight against Cal's. "We're not watching NCIS tonight, are we?" she asked with a knowing smile.

Cal shook his head and grinned. "Nope, not tonight." He followed his statement by giving Gill a mischievous swat on the ass. "Go on. Upstairs, Martha. I have other plans for you," he teased, ushering her towards the staircase.

The playful words of Gill's reply were impossible to make out through her laughter and amused squeals as Cal chased her up the stairs. The ironing would have to wait 'til morning.


	22. Honest Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

I really like this chapter for some reason. Especially the end. You'll see two very different sides of Cal, and Heidi, Loker and Torres make their first appearances. Would love to know what you think!

* * * * *

By Thursday the following week Gill was more than ready for the weekend. Cal's birthday was on Saturday, and she was just looking forward to spending a day spoiling her husband. Yes, it was work, but it didn't feel like it. She liked doing things for him, and derived just as much pleasure from doing that as she would have from unwinding after her long week by spending a day reading and lounging around. She'd been working on the budgets all week and pouring over their finances. Things weren't as good as they had been before Cal bought Zoe's share of the company, but they were improving. She was glad now that he had. They owned it wholly, just the two of them. No Zoe. Plus, it meant they had Emily close by. She pinched the bridge of her nose, fighting off a headache as she went cross-eyed staring at another spreadsheet. It wasn't that she found it difficult- she was an exceptionally intelligent woman- it was just tiresome. She'd much rather be working with people than with numbers. When her phone rang she didn't know whether to sigh at the interruption or thank the person on the other end profusely for giving her some form of human contact. She answered it politely, seeing Heidi's name on the caller ID.

"Dr. Foster, I'm sorry for the interruption, but there's a delivery for you at the front desk," she said. "Would you like to collect it, or did you want me to bring it to your office?"

"I'll come and get it. Thank you, Heidi," Gill replied, hanging up the phone and stretching as she stood. Probably more papers from the auditors. She walked out of her office and towards reception then, noting a large bouquet of lilies, a potted orchid plant and a wrapped box sitting on the desk. _'Oooh, Heidi must have a new boyfriend! Pink lilies and Singapore orchids. My favourite... Odd,' _Gill thought. Heidi had always been a good employee and she wanted to see her happy. "You said there was a delivery for me?" she smiled expectantly, not mentioning the flowers. She didn't want to pry.

Heidi stood and smiled. "A delivery man from the florist dropped these off a few minutes ago," she told Gill, shifting the box and the flowers a little closer to Gill. "You're a lucky lady. I wish my boyfriend was as thoughtful as Dr. Lightman." She hoped she hadn't overstepped the line by making reference to Gill's personal life.

Gill smiled broadly. Cal had obviously remembered their discussion from a few nights ago. '"Wait, both of those lots of flowers are for me?" she asked. How could that be? Cal wouldn't have forgotten he'd done it and order a second lot, and if he wanted to send her both types of flowers he knew he could just get them arranged together. She prayed this wasn't some bizarre coincidence and Alec hadn't decided to send her flowers the same day. He knew she was married now.

"That's what the man said," Heidi replied, shrugging. She was confused by it too.

"Okay.... Thank you, Heidi," she Gill replied, baffled. She slipped the box under her arm then considered how on earth she was going to carry a pot and a vase of flowers at the same time.

Sensing Gill's dilemma, Heidi smiled. "Here, let me help you carry one of these back to your office," she said, picking up the pot of orchids and waiting for Gill to do the same with the lilies. They didn't talk as they carried them back, but Gill made sure to thank Heidi yet again when she set the flowers down on her desk.

After Heidi had left Gill sunk down into her chair, placing the lilies in front of her and looked at both bunches of flowers. This was just strange. She reached over and plucked the card from its place on the pot of orchids first.

_Dr. Foster,_

_Thank you for all of the effort you've been putting into the budgets this week. I know there are other things you'd rather be doing, and I really appreciate you taking care of it for us. We wouldn't stay afloat without you._

_Dr. Lightman._

Gill smiled. It was really thoughtful of Cal to send her flowers when he knew she'd been having an average week, and he'd remembered how much she loved Singapore orchids. His closet romantic side never ceased to amaze her, nor did the fact that after knowing him for all these years he could still make her heart skip a beat. Setting the card carefully on her desk she eyed the lilies. They were making her nervous. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth for a short amount of time before she had built up enough courage to pick up the second card and read it. She opened the envelope with slightly trembling hands. _'Please don't be from Alec. Please don't be from Alec,' _she begged silently. She took a deep breath and held it, opening the card to read it.

_Gill,_

_You've worked late every night this week. I know work is important, but I miss you and you need a break. I'm cooking tonight. Please be home by 8._

_Love Always,  
Cal._

_P.S. The chocolates are from me. Dr. Lightman is a cranky old bastard._

Gill laughed quietly at the last line on the card, shaking her head. Cal really was unique. She couldn't believe he'd sent her two bunches of flowers _and _chocolates. At least now she knew what was in the box. Setting the second card down next to the first she ran her finger along the join in the wrapping paper on the chocolates and carefully undid them. _'Truffles.... You'll be the death of me, Cal Lightman,'_ she thought with a smile, slipping one into her mouth and mmming in delight. She reached out and picked up the phone, dialling Cal's extension.

"Lightman," Cal answered the phone without checking the caller ID.

"Guess what I have in my mouth," Gill replied, a small amount of the chocolate still coating her tongue.

Cal chuckled. "Does this mean I'm speaking to Mrs. Lightman?" he asked. "The chocolates weren't for Dr. Foster."

"We're sharing," Gill replied with a smile. "Thank you, Cal. They're beautiful."

Cal smiled proudly. "So are you," he told Gill. "I figured work you and home you could both do with something nice this week, so I sent you one each."

Gill tilted back in her chair and kicked her shoes off. "You even remembered my favourite flowers."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't sure who should get which one, but the orchids are in a pot so I figured you could keep 'em in your office. Brighten it up a bit, y'know?"

"You're amazing. You've made my week," Gill said dreamily. Cal was so much better than the men in her romance novels. Who needed fiction when this was her reality?

"I'm glad. Thank you for all of the work you've been doing. I've told you before, but I'll say it again. We'd be working out of a shoebox if it wasn't for you."

"You make it worthwhile," Gill told him with a happy sigh. She was head over heels in love, and it made her giddy. "I love you."

"I love you, too, darling," Cal told her. "I have to go now, Loker's been looking for me. Try to be home by 8? Please?" he requested.

"I will," Gill assured him, waiting for Cal to say his goodbyes before she hung up and sighed happily. Somehow the rest of the afternoon wasn't looking so bleak.

Cal stood up from his desk, glad Gill liked the flowers. Not bothering to tuck his chair back in, he went to find Eli in one of the AV labs, his usual cocky gait having a bit more spring in it than normal. He stopped just before he got to the door, hearing voices coming from inside.

"Look, all I'm saying is she got two bunches of flowers. You'd think if she was seeing someone else they'd be discrete enough not to send flowers to the office where she works _with her husband." _Loker's voice.

"Loker, don't be ridiculous, Dr. Foster would never do that. This is none of your business, but even if it was there's nothing to say that both of those bunches of flowers didn't come from Dr. Lightman. They're married, he must love her. You know you see that. Maybe he was just spoiling her. I think it's romantic." Cal raised an eyebrow. At least Torres' response had seen her defending Gill.

Loker's radical honesty was in full swing today, and he hadn't turned off his tendency to not just be honest, but say _everything _that popped into his head. "Two bunches of flowers from the same guy? Someone's been a good girl... Or a naughty one," he smirked. "It's normally the quiet ones you've got to watch out for." Usually he had a lot more respect than that for Dr. Foster, but his flirting with Ria had increased lately and it seemed words were just falling from his mouth completely uncensored.

"Lok-" Ria's use of his name to chastise him was cut short by an imposing figure walking into the room.

"Oi! Intern! My office. _**NOW**_!"

Loker jumped, startled, then turned to see Cal Lightman in the door, his eyes locked on the young man with a burning intensity that left no doubt about the fact that he was furious. _Nobody _spoke about his Gill that way. The unpaid intern gulped, terror evident on his face. His uncontrolled outpouring of honest words had really gotten him in trouble this time.


	23. Giving Voice to Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

I never intended to write this chapter, but I got the impression from your reviews that some of you wanted to see it. I'm a little unsure of it, but we'll see what you think. 

Cal strode quickly into his office, Loker following timidly behind. "Shut the door," the older man instructed, walking over to sit down on the chair behind his desk.

Loker's stomach was churning. He knew he was in deep this time. He wanted to speak and try to dig himself out of this enormous amount of trouble he was in, but he didn't think there was a single thing that would stop Lightman strangling him with his bare hands right now. He deserved it, of course. He took a few steps into the room, each of them hesitant. Maybe he could run for the door now and still get away.

"Sit," Cal instructed quietly, waiting for Eli to obey. He rocked back and forth in his chair a little, trying to calm himself before he spoke. He needed to collect his thoughts and let some of the rage he felt dissipate. He honestly couldn't believe Loker had said that after everything Gill had done for him. After about five minutes of incredibly intense silence, he spoke. "So... Proud of yourself, are you?" he asked, swivelling in his chair to face Loker, one of his feet resting on the opposite knee so his leg was at right angles and horizontal to the ground. He brought his hands together, the tips of his thumbs and forefingers touching each other and forming an upside down V.

"I don't know what to say," Loker replied honestly.

"That's a bloody change. You had plenty to say a few minutes ago." Cal watched as the shame on Loker's face intensified, fighting for dominance with the fear he was feeling. "I didn't have the pleasure of seeing your face while you degraded my wife," Cal informed him. "So I'm not sure if you really think of her like that, or if you've got your head up your ass and you think it was funny. Showing off in front of your little friends to be the big man."

Cal sat up a little straighter and tilted his head to the side, studying Eli like he was under a microscope. "Do you know who pushed for me to hire you?" he asked.

"Dr. Foster?" Eli suggested softly. Like he didn't feel bad enough as it was.

"And who convinced me not to fire your stupid ass after you ran to the IRS and blew the deal she'd made?"

"Doct..." he stopped and cleared his throat, finding his voice was croaky. "Dr. Foster," Eli tried again. He wondered if he could feel any worse.

"And when your grandmother died, who booked- and paid for out of her own pocket- tickets home so you could go to the funeral?"

"Dr. Foster," Loker replied, ashamed.

"And who makes sure your favourite cake's in the kitchen on your birthday every year? And stays back half the night and on weekends to help when you get stuck with your research?"

Loker wanted to die. He looked down.

"I'm speaking to you!" Cal all-but yelled at him, bringing his hands down on the desk with a loud bang.

Loker jumped. "Doc.. doctor Foster," he told Cal.

"That's right," Cal told him, standing up and starting to pace behind the desk he'd hit just moments earlier. "She does absolutely everything she can for you, and how do you repay her?" he asked. "You degrade her, and talk about her like she's a common whore." The word left a bad taste in Cal's mouth. It certainly wasn't one he'd use to describe Gillian.

Loker shifted uncomfortably in his chair, unable to look at Cal.

The older man walked over and bent over, a hand resting on either arm rest of Loker's chair so he was leaning forward, right into his personal space, their faces just inches apart. He watched as Loker swallowed nervously. "You disgust me," he told him, his voice practically dripping with loathing. "You have no idea what loyalty and respect are, do you?" Loker looks like he's about to speak, and Cal cuts him off. "No, of course you don't. Now..." he leans in just a little closer. He's smaller than Loker, there's no denying that, but his presence is intimidating, and the power he holds makes him seem like he's twice his co worker's size. "You give me one good reason why I shouldn't knock your block off right now."

Loker wasn't overly familiar with the phrase, but he was pretty sure Lightman was about to beat the crap out of him. He set his jaw and tried not to flinch.

Cal wouldn't punch Loker- if nothing else he'd get arrested for it and then Gill would have to bail him out. He straightened up and walked back around to the other side of his desk, just to be safe. "You're a bloody disgrace. I don't even know what to do with you," Cal admitted. He sat down again and started to swivel in his chair, picking up one of his Papua New Guinean artefacts and shifting it from hand to hand while he thoughts. "You've really shown your true colours today. I know exactly what you think of people you should respect, and I know who you're loyal to. Nothing and no one." He clenched and unclenched his jaw a few times. "I'd fire you effective immediately, but until Gill's finished working on the budgets we're short-handed, and getting rid of you now would punish everyone else, too...." Cal trailed off, trying to think a plan through. "Get your stuff together and get out of here. I don't want to see your selfish, disrespectful ass again until Monday morning. You'll stay until Dr. Foster's finished working on budgets, then you're out. Are we clear?"

Loker swallowed and nodded silently. He knew he deserved it. "Right," he agreed quietly, standing slowly to leave.

"I'm not done with you yet," Cal stopped him. "You will not tell a single person, and you sure as hell won't go running to Foster with this. She's got enough on her plate without trying to save the likes of you after you stabbed her in the back. When Torres asks you'll tell her I sent you home for the rest of the week and you'll be back on Monday morning. Nothing more, nothing less." Loker nodded and Cal turned his chair to face his computer. "You know where the door is," he told the younger man. "Use it."

Loker stood for a second, watching Cal as he went back to work, then trudged to the office door, letting himself out. He didn't think he'd ever regretted giving voice to words so much.


	24. Take My Word for It

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

I feel like the last chapter elicited a mixed response. This one might go over a bit better... maybe. 

That night Cal left work with enough time to pick up the things he needed to make Gill dinner and stopped to buy a black forest cake for her to eat for desert- Emily would be over for a few hours the following afternoon to give Cal his birthday present, so she could help them eat the leftovers then, and they could always take some to work the next day to share with whoever felt like it. By the time Gillian got home at 7:55 Cal had the table set with a nice tablecloth and a bottle of red wine open and breathing.

"Cal! I'm home!" Gill called as she let herself in. "With five minutes to spare!" She knew it was a sign she'd been working too much when she actually felt proud of herself for being able to achieve such a generous deadline.

"In the kitchen, love!" Cal called back, taking the lasagne he'd made out of the oven and setting it on the counter to serve.

"Hey," Gill said gently as she entered the kitchen, walking over to give Cal a kiss hello. "That smells great, honey."

Cal dodged Gill's lips so she kissed the side of his mouth instead, making Gill frown. "Hi. Good timing, I just got dinner out of the oven," he told her.

"Is something wrong?" Gill asked, suddenly self-conscious. Cal had never really stopped her from kissing him on the lips before. She thought back over what she'd had to eat and drink and decided her breath didn't smell, and she'd looked in the mirror when she was putting lipstick on before she left the office, so she didn't have food in her teeth either. What could it be?

"No, why?" Cal asked, pouring Gill a glass of wine and handing it to her before half-filling his own glass with the dark burgundy liquid. He seemed to be keeping his distance, which only made Gill worry more. They were _always_ close to each other, and it was very rare that one of them didn't touch the other periodically when they were near. They'd always been affectionate, even before they'd become a couple, and with the line between friends and lovers well and truly demolished their touchy-feely ways had only intensified.

"No reason, I guess," Gill replied quietly, sipping her wine and stomping on the thought that the head turn to avoid a kiss on the lips had been the first thing she'd noticed change when Alec was cheating on her. Cal was faithful. She knew that. He would _never _cheat on her. Ever. "Do I have time to go and get changed before we eat?" she asked. It would give her a chance to calm down so she wouldn't overreact, and if it was space from her that Cal wanted then it would satisfy that need, too.

"Yeah, I'll just serve this up," Cal agreed, turning his back on her as he started to cut the lasagne. No smile, no kiss, no little touch on the arm.

Gill felt a lump form in her throat. Why? He'd been so happy earlier. She couldn't possibly have done something wrong that afternoon, could she? She swallowed and took another few mouthfuls of wine, drinking it a lot faster than the usual slow, savouring sips she indulged in. If this was how tonight was going to go, she had a feeling she was going to need something to help her through. Leaving her glass behind she left the kitchen silently and walked upstairs to their bedroom, opening the closet. For the first time since their first few dates she had absolutely no idea what to wear around Cal. Should she try and make an effort, or would that be strange given his current attitude towards her? Then again, if she dressed too modestly or sloppily and the reason he didn't want to be near her was because he wasn't finding her attractive for some reason then that would backfire, too. She sat down on the edge of the bed and stared straight ahead. She did not like this at all.

Several minutes later Cal stepped into the bedroom, puzzled when he saw Gill sitting on the bed staring into space. "You alright?" he asked. "I called out a few times but you didn't respond." Why hadn't she gotten changed and come back down? She knew dinner was ready.

"Yeah, I just, umm..." Gill said softly, searching for an explanation. "I don't feel all that hungry."

"But I just came home and cooked you a nice dinner," Cal protested. "You're always hungry and lasagne's one of your favourites... Plus, I have black forest cake for dessert." Gill simply shrugged. "Christ, Gill, what's wrong?" Cal asked, suddenly very concerned. "I've never heard you turn down black forest cake. Should I call a doctor or something?" He wasn't trying to be funny, he was genuinely worried about her.

"I'm fine, Cal," she said softly, shaking her head. "I'm probably just over-tired from work. Maybe I should go to bed." So much for not overreacting.

"Can I make you some toast or something light?" Cal offered, his brow furrowed deeply. His wife was really acting out of sorts. Gill shook her head again. "Gillian." The use of her full name at home was foreign to Gill, and only served to make her worry more. "What's going on here? All I've seen since I walked into the room was fear, sadness and guilt."

"Cal, don't do that. Don't read me now," Gill instructed him, standing up and turning her back on him so he couldn't see her face.

"You always let me read you these days," Cal argued. "If you don't turn around I'm only going to try to pick it up in your posture. Tell me what it is. Is it work?" She didn't respond. "I haven't brought up kids, so it's not that... Is it a colleague?" Still no reaction. "Your mother?" Nothing. "Alec?" Gill tensed slightly. Cal hadn't really hit the nail on the head, but he was getting somewhat closer to home. "What's that bastard done this time?" he asked.

Gill sighed quietly and turned to face Cal. "It's nothing new," she told him.

"Something old, then." Cal had a talent for stating the obvious at times. "Clue me in?"

Gill opened her mouth to speak then closed it again, shaking her head.

"Come on, love," he encouraged. "Communication has to be a two-way street here. I want to help you, but if I don't know what's wrong I can't."

Gill pursed her lips and closed her eyes briefly, blinking away tears. If she wasn't so tired it probably wouldn't have bothered her as much. "You'll think I'm being stupid."

"No I won't," Cal argued.

Gill wasn't convinced, but she knew one of them had to give in. "When I tried to kiss you hello you turned your lips away," she told him quietly. "And then you didn't touch me and you were standing on the other side of the kitchen nowhere near me."

"That's what's got you all worked up?" Cal asked. "There's more to this, Gill, isn't there?" he asked. "No half-truths." Gill shook her head no. "Gill," Cal said patiently. "It doesn't matter what it is. You can tell me. I'm not going to get mad and I won't be upset or think you're being silly. If whatever it is was enough to get you upset, then it's important." Another head shake from Gill. "Please, love," he requested, walking over and wrapping his arms around her.

Gill closed her eyes and turned her face away. "I know you wouldn't do it." She told Cal.

He waited patiently for her to continue. She was being a little cryptic right now, and as good as he was at reading facial expressions, he still had to leave the mind-reading for the psychics. "Do what, darling?" he asked softly, brushing her hair back off her face.

Gill swallowed, trying to compose herself. "I... When Alec first started to... with other women, the first thing I noticed was when we weren't around other people he'd turn his face away so I couldn't kiss him on the lips."

Cal's heart sank. Of course it was something like that, he should have known. Even when he'd seen Gill and Alec kiss they were chaste, fleeting pecks on the lips, devoid of any real feeling from Alec, and certainly not as lingering as the ones Gill shared with him as a friend. "Gill, love, you know I wouldn't ever...."

Gill cut him off. "I know. I told you it was stupid. I couldn't help it, though. I thought I was alright with it, but I guess it's still in the back of my mind."

"I didn't mean to make you feel like that, love," he promised her. "You know I love you and I want you all the time. I've never been attracted to anyone like I am to you. It's not just physical, either. Don't get me wrong, that's great, but it's more than that."

"Why did you do it, then?" Gill asked. She felt like she deserved an explanation.

"I don't know.... I guess I was trying to keep you at arms' length."

Gill swallowed. That probably wasn't a good thing. "Physically or emotionally?" she asked.

"Emotionally... the physical stuff just seemed like a way to make it easier."

"_Why?_" It seemed like an obvious question to her. "Is this about the pamphlets you've been reading and whatever it is you've been looking up on your computer?"

"No," Cal told her. "I'd had a hard afternoon. I didn't want to talk about it." A simple explanation, but an honest one.

"Normally you touch me _more_ when you're having problems. What's so bad that you wanted to shut me out that much? What couldn't you tell me?" Gill asked. She was confused and, frankly, a little scared.

"Please don't ask me to answer that, Gill," Cal said. His blood was boiling just at the thought of the way Loker had disrespected his wife. After everything Gill had done for him he couldn't believe he'd sink so low and reduce her to that. The younger man's comments had hit close to home for Cal. He'd always worried that he wasn't good enough for Gill, and that he'd end up sullying her in some way. It was like Loker's remarks had confirmed his suspicions. Nobody would ever have spoken about Gill like that before they got together. More than anything, Cal felt guilt and disgust. Guilty that he'd dragged her down to his level, and disgust that he'd been selfish enough to put her in that situation.

"Whatever it is, Cal, I don't want to be protected from it. I want you to tell me. It can't possibly be as bad as the scenarios you know I'll think up if I don't know."

Cal shifted. Gill had a point. He cleared his throat quietly. "I fired Loker today."

Gill laughed quietly. "Cal, come on. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you." She kissed his chin. He was cute when he was trying to be funny, and she loved that he made her laugh.

"I'm not joking, Gill. I fired Loker. I told him he could stay until you finished working on the budgets, but only because we're short-handed. After that he's out."

"I... Cal, what happened? And how could you do that without running it by me first?" she asked, standing up straighter, a look of disbelief on her face. "We're meant to be partners. _Equal _partners. That means we make decisions together. You can't just go and fire Loker. Whether we're paying him or not, he's got the most experience out of any of our staff. You can't just kick that out the door."

"My decision is final," Cal said resolutely. "This isn't open for discussion. Please, just trust that I've made the right call and support me. No questions."

"No, Cal," Gill argued. "Whether I trust you and support you or not, I have a right to know what's going on. The fact we're married aside, I'm your business partner, and when you fire our most experienced employee you're affecting _my_ business. Apart from the fact I've become quite attached to it, it's also what I base my professional reputation on, it's an investment in my future, an investment in Emily's future and my sole source of income. This is not a decision you can make without consulting me, or at the very least explaining your motives."

Cal grumbled. Gill was right- she normally was. He didn't want to tell her what Loker had said, though. He wanted to protect her. The truth or happiness- never both. "If I tell you will you not ask for details?"

"I think I deserve details."

"At least trust me that much," Cal requested. "Don't make me tell you exactly what he said."

"I'll think about it," Gill told him.

Cal sighed. Her stubbornness was infuriating sometimes. "After you called about the flowers this afternoon I went looking for Loker and I found him in one of the AV labs. He was making... inappropriate comments of a sexual nature in front of a female employee. Even if nobody decides to sue for sexual harassment, I can't have him making comments like that and making other employees uncomfortable."

"What did he say?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Who was he speaking to?" Gill pressed.

"It's not open for discussion."

"You didn't have to fire him, you could have taken disciplinary action."

"What disciplinary action?" Cal asked. "He's an unpaid intern, and he got that way because we had to take disciplinary action in the past. I've got nothing left to punish him with. His radical honesty's gone too bloody far yet again. He's a liability."

"I'll talk to him tomorrow," Gill said calmly, running her hand over Cal's chest.

"You will-bloody-not," Cal stated without hesitation.

Gill looked at Cal, shocked. "I beg your pardon?" Her tone conveyed a second message- 'how _dare_ you tell me what I can and can't do!'

Cal withered slightly. He knew better than to lay down the law and tell Gill how she could behave. He just wanted to protect her. "I told him not to come back until Monday," Cal said. Good save.

"Then I'll talk to him then. We need him, Cal."

Cal furrowed his brow. "I'd prefer you just let it go and stayed away from him," he said. "I'm asking as your husband now, not as your business partner. Please, just stay away from Loker, Gill. Let it go. It's not worth it."

"Cal, you're not telling me the whole story. Loker's made inappropriate comments in the past and it's never bothered you before. Normally they're pretty tame. What's different about this time? Did he upset Torres?"

"He didn't upset her, but she wasn't happy about what he said..." Cal replied.

"So I should find out from Ria..."

Cal kicked himself mentally. He knew Gill would be able to get it out of her. While he was often quite obvious in his attempts to read his protégé Gill was stealthy. She approached in her normal sweet, friendly way, gently coaxing information out of you until she had what she wanted. She didn't need to act or to be obvious about it, people just naturally trusted and opened up to her. She was trustworthy and friendly, and people responded to that. "You're like a dog with a bone."

"So are you. Are you going to tell me, or am I going to hear it from Torres tomorrow at work?"

"She's managed to keep her mouth shut in the past. She's covered for Loker before."

"Neither of us actually believed her, though, Cal."

"I thought you did," Cal argued.

"I'm not stupid. I knew what was going on, and I could see Loker was on something to try and put it over me. Who was the one who came to you and told you I thought it was him?"

"First time you didn't cover for him, too," Cal commented. He remembered that day clearly.

"He didn't deserve for me to cover for him. I still think he did the wrong thing."

"I guess it's settled, then. We both agree Loker's a liability and he shouldn't come back," Cal replied, a feeble attempt to get Gill to agree with him.

"No, we disagree on that, and I'm still going to talk to Ria tomorrow unless you tell me tonight. I know there's more to this than you're letting on." She stopped and smiled at Cal innocently before her lips curled into a mischievous smirk. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get that information out of you, Cal," she purred.

Cal was tempted. Very, _very _tempted. If he gave in to Gill's request, though, then he'd feel like he was confirming Loker's suspicions. Then again, if he turned her down he knew she'd start feeling insecure again. His mind ticked over the possibilities, running each scenario through his head before he made a decision and spoke. "Whatever it takes?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"_Anything_," Gill confirmed. It was obvious exactly what sort of 'anything' she was referring to.

"Good, I like the sound of that," Cal smiled, his hands running up her thighs to rest on her hips.

"I bet you do, handsome," Gill smiled, continuing to purr as she moved her whole body forward and brought her lips to Cal's. She brushed against them lightly, teasingly, before giving the bottom one a tiny lick and grinning seductively.

Cal closed his eyes and moaned quietly. Damn, she had to make this difficult, didn't she? He took a few deep, steadying breaths before he opened his eyes and grinned back at Gill, kissing her lightly on the lips.

Gill was loving this. She was using her sex appeal to exercise control over Cal, and he was lapping it up eagerly. "Tell me what you're thinking, Cal," she encouraged him. She could tell from the grin on his face that he was up to mischief.

Cal held her gaze as his right hand moved to her stomach, resting there. "That either you're going to look beautiful carrying my child, or I hope you've got a lot of ink left in your favourite pen. Those forms for the adoption agencies take a long time to fill out." He knew she'd say no, and that would get him out of having to tell her. He also knew he'd end up being in trouble for playing that card, but it was better than having to tell his wife that their co-worker now thought she did kinky things in bed to earn flowers from her husband.

Gill's grin disappeared. She let out a frustrated groan and fought the urge to slap Cal, walking away from him and plopping down on the bed unceremoniously. "You're incorrigible!" she told her husband, irritated. She couldn't believe he'd treat that as a joke, after all of the time she'd spent upset about it, and the disagreements they'd had.

"You said anything," Cal protested innocently.

Gill frowned. She _had _said anything. "I played right into that, didn't I?" she asked, sighing. She really couldn't blame her husband, even if she was still cranky with him.

Cal nodded. "Come on, love," he encouraged her, leaning over to press a lingering kiss to her cheek. "I'm sorry. I promise I won't do that again. Really, though, you don't want to know what Loker said." It was clear that they'd both played their hands and Cal had won. "Take my word for it."


	25. Words of Encouragement

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

_So, I just realised that my formatting for disclaimers and author's notes hasn't been showing up when I upload. No big deal, will try this instead. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! For anyone I haven't gotten back to, I'm sorry, my messages have been off all week. I promise it's nothing personal! _

Gill went silent, having admitted defeat, and watched as Cal approached, sitting down next to her. "That was a cruel trick," she told him.

"I know it was. I'm sorry, love," Cal apologised. "I saw an opening and I took it, though. Can you blame me? What if you'd said yes?"

"You'd trade information for permission to attempt to impregnate me?" Gill asked.

Cal scrunched up his face in disgust. "When you put it like that it sounds bloody awful," he told her. "You were going to trade sexual favours for information. It was a game, nothing more, Gill. Things aren't really like that between us." He shifted a little then laid down, gently using her arm to lay her down next to him. "I don't want permission to impregnate you. You're my wife, not a lab experiment. I want for you to feel happy and confident about the idea of us making love with the goal of starting a family together."

"I'm halfway there," Gill told Cal, running her hand over his chest. "I'm very happy and confident making love to you. We've never been too good at keeping our hands to ourselves, have we?" It strikes her that towards the end of their marriage Gill was probably getting more physical contact- all innocent, of course- from Cal than she was from Alec.

Cal shook his head 'no'. Gill was right, they were all over each other like white on rice. He bloody loved it. "I want you to get the rest of the way there. I want to want to try and make a baby with me that's going to be a beautiful little version of... well, you more than me, I hope... A baby with ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes, and beautiful, big blue eyes, just like its mummy, that we can love and care for, and watch grow. Someone who runs to the door excited when we arrive home, and we can tuck into bed at night and watch sleep for hours on end, just because they look so peaceful and innocent. Someone I can teach to ride a bike, and you can help with their homework." He leant in to press a tender kiss to Gill's lips, silencing her with a finger to them when she attempted to speak. He wasn't done, and he could see she was getting teary.

"If it's a girl then someone you can take shopping for a prom dress while I work out how to scare off her boyfriend, and then, as she gets older, someone I can walk down the aisle at her wedding," he cleared his throat a little. He wasn't going to cry. "If it's a boy, then maybe he'll be into football or basketball, and we can drive halfway across the country to watch him play. Sitting there with your hand in mine, we'd be the proudest parents there. Then a few years down the track it'll be his wedding we're at, and when I see him look over at his new wife I'll be over the bloody moon because I know that if she can make him even half as happy as you make me he's going to have an amazing life."

By the time Cal had finished Gill was crying. Everything Cal was describing was the sort of thing she'd been imagining for years, first with Alec and now, even more so, with Cal. "You're a bastard, Cal Lightman," she told him, even though deep down she didn't mean it. She hated that he'd made her cry. Somewhere in the back of her mind it registered that she didn't think she'd ever heard him say that many words in a row before.

"You don't mean that, love," Cal said quietly, pulling a clean handkerchief out of his pocket for her to use. "That's how I see us. I know you have a lot to deal with, and I'm trying to be patient with you, but I think about it every day, and I keep finding myself praying that you're going to change your mind, and you just need time."

Gill took his handkerchief and wiped at her eyes then blew her nose. "I never said I didn't want a baby, Cal," she reminded him quietly for what felt like the millionth time. "I just said I couldn't put myself through trying for a family again. It's too much. I don't think I'm strong enough."

Cal kissed the top of Gill's head and inhaled deeply. She was the strongest woman he knew, and even though it wouldn't be easy, he knew they could get through it together. There was absolutely nothing stopping them from having a child. If they couldn't conceive as a couple then surely any adoption agency would find a successful married couple with a nice home in a nice neighbourhood the perfect place for a child without those things to grow up. Maybe Gill would even weaken on the dog thing- not that Cal would be stupid enough to ask again, no matter how much he wanted it. He'd save his pleading for attempting to convince her to start a family.

"Do you think I'm being selfish?" Gill asked softly after a few minutes of silence. She often worried about that. She knew she was preventing Cal from having something that could make him happy, and she was sure that made her not only selfish, but probably a bad wife, too. And yet, somehow, she couldn't move past it.

"I think you're scared of having your heart broken again, and I can see why you'd feel that way," Cal replied.

"You're deflecting," Gill called him on it.

"What do you want me to say, Gill?" Cal asked gently. "One of us has to get our way. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for you.... Now, let's get you some dinner, love," he told her quietly, changing the subject. "Try and start this evening again, the way it should have happened the first time- with me fussing over my beautiful wife who has been working far too hard lately."

Gill nodded a little, her stomach rumbling almost right on cue. "I love you, Cal," she said softly, kissing him on the lips. "Promise me you won't leave me?"

Cal rolled them over carefully so Gill was on her back and he was hovering above her, their bodies barely touching. He returned her kiss, then looked her straight in the eyes. "Gillian Lightman, I will _never_ leave you, no matter what. I love you and I always will. Nothing will ever change that, I promise."

"Alec used to say that," Gillian told him quietly. Sometimes she just needed more reassurance that she wasn't going to end up heartbroken and alone again.

"He called you Gillian Lightman?" Cal asked. "Love, that probably should have been a warning sign," he grinned, earning himself a slap on the arm.

"Be serious, Cal," she instructed him, although she had to admit his attempt at humour had made her feel a little better.

Cal nodded. "Gill, he was a drug addict. He was too high to realise he was ruining the best thing that could ever happen to him. He mistreated you and he made stupid, stupid mistakes. That's not me. It's not who I am. I know what I've got, and I'll be damned if I'm going to screw it up."

"Did you used to say it to Zoe?" Gill asked, knowing the answer, and not wanting to have him confirm it, but somehow unable to stop herself from asking anyway.

"Yes," Cal told her honestly, nodding. "And it was the truth. I didn't leave her, she left me. I became obsessed with the fact that I was certain she wasn't sure I was the right man for her to be with. I saw every doubt and every fear she ever had, and I admit that I let it ruin our marriage. It wasn't because I didn't love her, though. When I promised her that I told her the truth."

"So you still love her?" Gill asked. Another question she knew the answer to.

"Yes... I'm not _in _love with her, though. It took me a long time to realise it, but after she left me I saw we weren't good for each other. I don't like the person I become when I'm around her. When I'm with you, though," he smiled, Eskimo kissing Gill softly. "I'm a better man." He planted a soft kiss on her lips then got up, holding his hand out to help Gill up. "Come on, let's get you fed, Mrs. Lightman. Then we can see about me giving you a massage to help you relax before you go to sleep."

"Cal, you know very well that if you give me a massage the chances of me going right to sleep are slim to none," Gill grinned, accepting his hand to help her out of bed. Nine times out of ten when Gill was feeling good after a massage she did want to go to bed... but not for sleep. There was something about the way his hands felt on her skin and muscles that made him almost completely irresistible to her- even more-so than usual.

Cal grinned broadly. He did know. "Alright, love. Foot rub. How's that?"

"I don't remember objecting to the massage," Gill threw back over her shoulder playfully, walking out of the bedroom with a slightly more pronounced sway in her hips than usual. Cal didn't need any further words of encouragement to follow right behind.


	26. A Little Word

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

_Gill's character confuses me. She refers to herself as a psychologist, but interviews with Kelli Williams, in addition to some of her knowledge, is more reflective of her being a psychiatrist. I don't know if it's just a label she uses because it's a bit more 'friendly' or... Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, on with the chapter....._

The next morning Cal and Gill drove to work together, something they rarely did. Too often one or the other of them would need their cars to go and interview someone and it had become a hassle. Gill, however, knew what she had ahead of her for the day, and there was no way she was going to need to drive anywhere to get the budgets done. They stopped for coffee on the way into the office and were just walking through the front door when Gill spotted Ria Torres. 

"Morning," she smiled. "Ria, have you got a minute?" she requested, glancing at Cal.

"Gillian, don't you do what I think you're going to do," he warned her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Gill lied, the fake innocence in her tone a dead giveaway. She gestured for a very confused-looking Torres to follow her into her office. "You can shut the door," she told her, setting her coffee on her desk before she hung up her coat and put her handbag away.

"Is everything alright?" the younger woman asked, looking a little apprehensive.

"It's fine," Gill assured her with a warm smile. "Take a seat," she said, gesturing to one of the couches before she picked up her coffee and walked over to sit in the armchair next to it. "Sorry, did you want to get a coffee or something?" she asked, feeling guilty now and setting her own aside. 

"No, I'm good... thanks," Torres told her. She really just wanted to know what this was about.

"You don't have to look nervous, you're not in trouble," Gill promised. "I just... I believe there was an 'incident' yesterday with Loker."

Torres shifted uncomfortably, blushing slightly.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to embarrass you," Gill apologised.

"I just... I want you to know that I had _nothing _to do with what Loker said. I told him it was none of his business, and I was about to tell him off when Lightman walked in and pounced."

"Well, I'm inclined to agree," Gill said, nodding. She still had no idea what was going on, but she was trying to play like she did.

"So Dr. Lightman told you what he said?" Torres asked, surprised.

"We're married," Gill replied.

Torres was so used to hearing the truth from Gill the deflection didn't even register. "I'm so sorry," she apologised.

"Really, it's not your fault. Please don't feel responsible for him. I've tried to tell him before that it's alright if he wants to be honest, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable to say everything that comes to mind. He says it's the only way to be truly honest, but when you start making comments of sexual nature in front of a co-worker..."

"I don't think it was so much the fact that it was in front of me... I think what really got Lightman's back up was that it was _about_ you." Ria didn't miss the surprise on Gill's face. "Whoah..." she said, looking slightly taken-aback. "What was that? You didn't know, did you? He didn't tell you."

"He may have omitted some details," Gill conceded.

"Like what details?" Ria asked cautiously.

"I don't know... all of them?"

"Oh god... He's going to kill me for saying anything to you," Ria replied. "You tricked me."

"I didn't trick you," Gill argued. "I never told you he told me. I said we were married. I deflected. You know what that means and you chose to ignore it."

"Dr. Foster?" Ria replied, looking at her almost like she'd just told her Santa wasn't real. "I'd expect this from Lightman, but _you_?"

"I don't like being protected, Ria," Gill told her. "I have a right to know. Wouldn't you want to, if it was you?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"No buts," Gill argued. "Cal has _always _been protective of me, and I'm not saying that's always a bad thing, but he forgets that I'm a grown woman and I can take care of myself. Add the fact that now I'm his wife, and he's like...." Gill gestured big with her hands. "Borderline psychotic!"

"Is that your professional opinion?"

"No, I save that for work," Gill replied dryly. "Ria, I'm sorry you felt like I tried to trick you, but I was trying to be as honest as I could. I have a right to know what was said," she implored her.

"Lightman would kill me," Ria told her. "And how do I know this isn't another one of your little tests?" She stood up, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Dr. Foster. You'll have to ask Loker or Dr. Lightman."

Gill was incredibly frustrated, but kept her composure. "Okay," she agreed calmly and gently. "I'm sorry you felt like I tried to trick you and that I put you in an awkward position."

Ria nodded in understanding. "Can I go now?" she requested.

Gill nodded and waited for Torres to leave before crossing to her desk and picking up the phone. She dialled Cal's extension and then waited. "Cal? You and I need to have a little word in my office," she told him.


	27. Just Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

_Thanks for the reviews, and hi to the new people who have started following but I haven't heard from yet. Let me know what you think- this chapter's Cal and Gill's little chat, next chapter is Cal's birthday._

Cal strode into Gill's office confidently, leaving the door open. "Problem, darling?" he asked her casually.

"Don't you, 'problem, darling?' me," Gill told him. Her tone was quiet, but the underlying anger was evident. "Close the door." Cal did as he was told. "Sit."

"I'm not a dog, love," Cal protested.

"You're in the dog house, so you may as well be. Take a seat, Cal," she tried more politely.

Cal complied, slouching in one of Gill's armchairs with his legs stretched out in front of him. He'd intentionally chosen the one she liked to sit in. "I take it your little chat with Torres went well, then?" he asked, his casual tone only serving to irritate Gill more. He'd seen Ria in the corridor. She looked concerned, but not overly so. He was pretty sure she hadn't cracked.

Gill sat down on the other chair, her forearm resting along the arm of it. She ducked her head, giving herself some time to think, choosing her words carefully. "I know... that you love me," she told Cal, looking up at him without raising her head. "And I know that you want for me to be safe and happy, and that you would do absolutely anything in your power to make sure I am."

Cal squinted slightly, looking at her. He'd thought he'd been going to get an earful.

Gill reached out and held Cal's left hand with her own, rotating his wedding ring around his finger a little, then linking their fingers tightly. "I love that about you," she told him gently. "Every night I go to sleep in your arms I know that nothing bad will happen to me during the night. In the morning when I wake up and go to work, I know that no matter whose nose I end up poking my business in, and how they choose to react, you're going to make sure I'm safe, whether that's protecting me yourself, or keeping an eye on things and making sure Reynolds is where he needs to be before things get too hairy." She smiled warmly. "That's one of my favourite things about you, honey," she said, genuine affection on her face and in her voice.

Cal's chest _would_ have swollen with pride, knowing Gill felt like he was her protector. That was the role he'd assigned himself, and he was damned if he was going to let anything happen to her. He knew, however, there was a 'but' coming here. He waited patiently, looking Gill in the eye. He was glad she wasn't yelling at him- he was pretty sure there was something in the male brain that, when a woman's voice got over a certain pitch, just shut down, and everything came out as an unintelligible screech.

"But," Gill said.

'_Oh! There it is...' _Cal thought.

"You have to let me fight my own battles sometimes. I'm a grown woman, Cal, and I'm a lot stronger than you give me credit for."

"Rubbish, love," Cal interjected. "You're the strongest woman I know."

Gill looked at Cal sternly, an indication he shouldn't interrupt again, before her facial expression softened again. "It doesn't mean I don't need you, or that you role you play in my life is any less important, but you need to trust that I can take care of myself sometimes. It's not healthy for me to not be allowed to do that. Sometimes I'm going to get hurt, but I'll end up pulling through, and it'll make me a stronger person. When things go according to plan that's good for me, too. I need to know that I can stand on my own two feet so that if one day you're not around, I'm not going to be completely helpless. You don't want me to feel helpless, do you?" she asked.

Cal continued to look at Gill, who looked right back at him. "Oh! Not a rhetorical question? Right," he decided after a few moments passed in silence. "Of course I don't want you to feel helpless."

"Then Cal," Gill said, bringing their joined hands to her face so she could kiss his knuckles. "Let me stand on my own two feet sometimes. If Loker said something about me, I have a right to know what it was so I can defend myself. It might be awkward or embarrassing, but it's not as bad as feeling like everyone knows what's going on but me."

"He was being insulting and disrespectful, love," Cal told her. "The details are unimportant."

"They're important to _me_," Gill said a little more firmly. "If people are making sexual comments about me behind my back, I have a right to know what they're saying," she repeated herself.

"Absolutely not," Cal argued. "Doesn't matter anyway, he's still fired. I'm not having him work here if that's how he treats you after all you've done for him."

"We _need _Loker, Cal," Gill insisted. "Torres is good- she's great, actually- but he's got years on her. Until she's up to his level when it comes to research Loker's still the best we've got."

"Listen to yourself," Cal said, unable to believe it. "I tell you he's making inappropriate comments about you and you still defend him. Is it any wonder why I won't just let you handle it? You can't help yourself, Gill."

"I _can," _Gill insisted stubbornly. "This is not a matter of judging whether he's right or wrong, it's a matter of whether we need him or not, and the truth is that we do, so I'm willing to put up with whatever it was."

"No, I don't like this. I don't like it at all," Cal argued, shaking his head.

"Cal," Gill said patiently. "I'm going to ask you to trust me. Let me deal with Loker. I'll see that he regrets his behaviour."

"Gillian, you're being stubborn..."

Gill rolled her eyes. "So are you," she said. "Please," she implored him yet again. "Trust me to deal with him how I see fit. It doesn't matter what he says about me, Cal. They're just words."


	28. He Never Said a Word

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

_Here it is- the start of Cal's birthday. This chapter is HUGE, primarily because I couldn't find a break in it that fit nicely with the 'words' theme :P Yes, it's cheesy. It's not as cheesy as the fluffy chapter that's coming next, but it's up there, and it does serve a purpose in the 'bigger picture'... Let me know what you think!!_

Saturday morning came around quickly and before he knew it Cal was waking up on his 'special' day. "Good morning, birthday boy," Gill greeted him with a wide smile, kissing him on the lips.

Cal chuckled quietly and wondered, not for the first time, how Gill managed to be so chirpy. "Morning,' he replied, rolling over and wrapping both of his arms around Gill before placing a kiss to her shoulder.

Gill could barely lay still. It was all she could do not to jump out of bed and rush around fussing over Cal. "How can you be so calm and still?" she asked him. "Don't you want presents?"

Cal grinned, grazing his teeth over Gill's shoulder blade. "I've got my favourite present here," he told her. "My first birthday with you as my wife. What more could a bloke possibly want?"

Gill shivered when she felt Cal's teeth, then sighed happily at his words. "For someone who can pretend to be a real bastard when you want to be, you're such a romantic," she said.

"Sometimes," Cal agreed with a grin, rocking his hips forward so he was grinding his crotch against Gill's ass.

"Oh, I see what this is about," Gill smiled, rolling her hips sensuously to press back against Cal.

Cal groaned quietly. Damn, that woman could move. "Soon, but not yet," he told Gill, reaching down to still her hips. He kissed the back of her neck, letting his stubble scratch there. "I don't want to wear you out before you've had a chance to make my carrot cake."

Gill whimpered softly when she felt Cal's stubble against her skin. How could he possibly want to wait right now? She respected his wishes, though, and stilled her hips. "I have a lot more things than just that to do for you today," she told him, trying to contain her arousal. "I'm absolutely determined that by the end of the day you're going to love having a birthday."

Cal smiled and nuzzled Gill's hair. "I have no doubt you'll be able to convert me, love," he replied, giving her a gentle squeeze.

Gill sat up when cuddle time was over, kissing across Cal's chest, then up onto his lips. "You stay here," she instructed him. "I'm going to go and get you the newspaper so you can read it while I make you breakfast in bed." When Cal didn't argue Gill practically bounced out of bed and down the stairs, collected the newspaper from the front doorstep then making her way back up. "Your paper, Dr. Lightman," she smiled, handing it to him.

"Thank you, Dr. Lightman," he replied, taking it from Gill.

"_Mrs. _Lightman," Gill corrected Cal. Technically she was Dr. Lightman, but she preferred being called Mrs. at home. It was quite a number of names she went by. Apart from her first name and the string of pet names Cal and her parents had for her, Gill was Dr. Foster at work, Dr. Lightman when she was out and about, and Mrs. Lightman when she was with Cal. That was a lot of roles for one woman to fill, but Gill thought she was managing. If nothing else it helped her keep her work and home lives separate, to an extent. Somehow it felt like when she left the office she could switch from her role as Dr. Foster, lie detection expert, to Mrs. Lightman, Cal's wife. It wouldn't have been so important if they didn't work together, but at the end of the day they did, and Gill wouldn't have it any other way. Although it was inevitable that they would, she just wanted to limit the extent to which the lines between her two roles to get blurred in her interactions with Cal.

"Sorry. _Mrs. _Lightman," Cal smiled, unfolding the paper.

"I'll bring breakfast up soon," Gill promised, hurrying out of the room and downstairs again. She made her way into the kitchen and took out a fry pan, setting it on the stove and turning it on. The rest of it was relatively easy. Sausages when in first then, as they got closer to being done, bacon, eggs and tomato. Baked beans went in a separate pot while Gill put on toast and coffee, humming softly as she moved around the kitchen.

Cal could smell his breakfast cooking upstairs, and his stomach rumbled quietly. Bacon. That was definitely bacon. He turned the page in his newspaper and continued to read, hoping it wouldn't be too long before it was ready- the smell was making him hungry!

Gill put Cal's breakfast onto a plate, which she loaded onto a tray along with his coffee and carried carefully upstairs. "Here you go, honey," she smiled, waiting for Cal to be ready before she sat the tray down on his lap. "One cholesterol special."

Cal chuckled then licked his lips in anticipation. Gill _never _let him have a traditional English fry-up for breakfast, rattling off a list of all of the reasons it was unhealthy and should be avoided. "Do I get to eat this, or am I only allowed to look at it?" he asked.

Gill smiled."You can eat it," she told Cal. "But you'd better enjoy every mouthful. This is a once-a-year treat. I don't need you having a heart attack on me and leaving me a widow before I'm 40."

Cal grinned. "Have you seen the amount of junk food you eat?" he asked Gill playfully. "Not that it looks like it, mind you..."

"That's different," she told him. "It's part of a balanced diet, and I exercise. Plus, it's the cholesterol I'm worried about more than anything else. Everybody deserves treats sometimes, Cal."

"I like the sort of treats where you're naked," Cal informed Gill, starting on his breakfast. "Or in sexy lingerie."

Gill laughed. "I'm sure you do." _'You're going to love what I have in store for you after dinner, then,' _she thought. "I have to go out for a few hours today, I need to pick up one of your presents that I didn't think I'd be able to hide. There's football taped, you've got your newspaper and I bought a book with crosswords and puzzles for you to do if you run out of other things. No work, though, okay?" she instructed him. "It's not every year your birthday falls on a weekend, so just enjoy it."

"I enjoy my work," Cal protested. "What's my present? Is it big?" He studied Gill's face. He was good at working out the answers to questions without the person he was talking to ever having to speak.

"Cal, don't," Gill replied pleadingly. "Please don't spoil it. I've tried really hard to surprise you, I've managed to make it this far. Let me do this for you. I promise you'll like it. It's something you've asked for before."

"Not nipping down to the baby store, are we, love?" Cal asked, taking a bite of his toast.

Gill rolled her eyes and brushed a few crumbs off his lips before she kissed him. "I'm not talking about that today, Cal," she said patiently. "Just trust me."

"Alright, darling," Cal agreed, kissing Gill back. She was right, he shouldn't have brought it up today when it was obvious she was going to a lot of trouble to make sure things were nice for him. "I love you, you know. You're a good wife." Gill smiled and Cal picked up a piece of his toast. "Hungry?" he asked, offering it to her by putting it next to her lips.

Gill took a bite and chewed before swallowing. "Thank you," she replied, taking another bite when it was offered to her. "I cooked this for you, you know," she said.

"I know," Cal agreed. "But it tasted good, and I wanted to share it with you." He set the toast down and handed Gill his fork. He'd have fed her, but there wasn't much sexy about that sort of breakfast. "What time do you have to go out?"

"Any time," Gill replied, eating a piece of tomato off Cal's plate. "Depends how long you can wait for your presents," she smiled, piercing a piece of sausage with her fork and putting it in her mouth before handing Cal his fork back. "Earlier is probably better, though."

Cal smiled, watching the way the muscles in Gill's face worked as she chewed. He was a little odd like that. "Do you want to go after breakfast, then?" he asked. "That way when you come back I can have you to myself for the rest of the day without any interruptions."

Gill smiled at Cal's response and picked up the napkin, wiping her lips. "Sure. I can do that," she replied. "I'll have to have a shower and get dressed first, though. I don't know how people would react to me going out in public in my nightie."

"It's a very nice nightie," Cal said. "It would be better if you slept without one, but if you feel the need to cover up you're not going to get pyjamas much nicer than that."

"You have a one-track mind," Gill told him. "Can you check the water and oil in my car before I go, please?" she requested. "I have a bit of a drive today."

"Of course," Cal agreed, setting his breakfast tray aside. "Where are you driving that's so far away?" he smirked, trying to get hints out of her.

Gill rolled her eyes. "Your present is coming from Woodville. I'm meeting the person I'm purchasing it from halfway."

"Woodville, Virginia?" Cal asked. Now he was really intrigued!

"Yes, Woodville, Virginia. Now, please stop asking or you're going to spoil it!" Gill smiled.

"What's in Woodville?" Cal asked curiously, sitting up in bed and moving closer to Gill.

"Your present, for now," Gill replied with a smile. "I have to go and call the person to let them know what time I want to meet... and I need a shower. While I do it can you check my car for me, please?" she requested, kissing Cal a few times.

Cal smiled. If there was one thing he could say about Gillian, it was that she wasn't unaffectionate. "Yup. I'm on it," Cal replied, rolling out of bed with a groan. "I'm getting old," he told Gill.

"You're young where it counts," she smirked, getting out of the bed herself and sauntering into the ensuite, pinching Cal's backside on the way past.

Cal grinned as he pulled on a shirt and left the bedroom, feeling pretty damn good about himself, to be honest. It was funny how even a little comment or gesture from his wife could make him feel like a stud.

When Gill was showered and ready to go she ventured back downstairs to find Cal at his laptop. "Cal, that better be personal email or news," she warned him. She'd asked him not to work.

"No, love, Emily's signed me up for facebook," Cal frowned, scratching the stubble on his cheek. "What is this rubbish? 'Emily Lightman just found a lonely bull on her farm in Farmville'. Does that mean she's going to move to the country I don't have to pay for college now?"

Gill laughed. "It's a game, Cal," she informed him. She was surprised Emily had signed him up- the youngest member of the Lightman family was always complaining her father was too involved in her life and knew what was going on all the time. This just seemed like another way for him to monitor her. "You have a pretend farm and you grow crops and collect products animals produce. It's cute, you might like it."

"Sounds like a bloody waste of time to me," he frowned. "What's the point?"

"What's the point of watching West Ham United play Millwall?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"Oi! That's years of tradition and rivalry, that," Cal defended it. "I should be disgusted you'd even ask, but truth be told I'm actually kind of turned on by the fact that you actually know the names of two teams." It was rather impressive.

"I do listen when you talk, Cal," Gill said gently, sitting down next to him and stroking his cheek while she pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "It's important to you, so it's important to me. You think I wouldn't know who your favourite team was?" If nothing else she had to hand-wash that hideous maroon and sky blue supporter's scarf he insisted on wearing. It would never be as good as basketball, but Gill was willing to listen and follow along enough that she could at least understand what Cal was talking about. "I have to go now," she told him, adjusting the sleeve on his t-shirt then letting her hand rest on his chest briefly, just over his heart. "You'll probably want to be showered and dressed when I get home so you can enjoy your present."

"Come on, love. One hint before you go," Cal requested hopefully.

Gill sighed, relenting. "It fits in my car," she told him. That should have been obvious. "I love you," she said, standing up and kissing him again. "Be good. I'll be home in a few hours."

"I could come with you," Cal offered. "Keep you company on the drive... "

Gill considered it. He'd find out what his present was eventually, and at least this way he could help her with it on the way home. "Only if you put some pants on first," she told him with a smile.

"Where's the fun in that?" Cal asked. Even as the words left his mouth he was up off the couch and making his way upstairs to find some jeans.

While Cal was upstairs Gill decided to use his laptop. It took all of her self-control not to look through his browser history and try to find out what this damn thing was he kept hiding when she walked into the room and caught him looking at it. It was pamphlets as well as the internet, and he looked at it at work, so she knew whatever it was it wasn't R-rated. She was a good girl, though, and she didn't invade his privacy.... She might have considered it more carefully if she wasn't relatively sure he'd probably have deleted the pages he didn't want her to see anyway.

Rather than sticking her nose in where it clearly wasn't wanted, she had a poke around Emily's facebook page, finding a picture of Zoe and Roger. _'He certainly can't match Cal on sex appeal...." _she thought, scrunching her nose up slightly. No wonder Zoe had kept sleeping with him even after she and Roger got engaged. She didn't blame Cal for that- Zoe had always had a pull on him that he couldn't resist. She knew just how to manipulate him to get exactly what she wanted from him then she chewed him up and spit him out, leaving Gill to scrape him up off the floor. She was glad those days were behind them. "Zoe's got nice arms," she commented when Cal came back downstairs. She wasn't hiding the fact she was checking out Emily's profile from him, she knew he wouldn't mind.

Cal hesitated a little. There wasn't much he could say here that wouldn't get him in trouble. If he agreed Gill wouldn't like it, if he disagreed she'd think he was lying. "All-the better to squeeze the life out of poor, unsuspecting blokes with," he told her. It was rare he actually put Zoe down, but what choice did he have? "Come on, love, let's not worry about Zoe's arms right now," he encouraged, gently taking his laptop from her. He wondered, briefly, if she'd been trying to find out what he was up to, but he didn't see any guilt on her face, and to be honest he knew she wouldn't do that. She respected his privacy. "We've got a present to pick up."

An hour and a half later Cal found himself sitting in the passenger seat in the car park of McDonald's somewhere between Washington DC and Woodville, Virginia. Gill had made him promise to wait and not to peek so she could be the one who handed it over, and he was having a hard time not looking over to see what his wife was up to. She returned after about ten minutes of conversation carrying a cardboard box in both of her arms, and she knocked on Cal's window with her elbow.

Cal wound the window down and looked at Gill. "Fantastic, love, I've always wanted a cardboard box from Virginia."

"Smarty pants," Gill laughed. "Open the door."

Cal complied and watched as Gill very slowly and very carefully set the box down in his lap. It wasn't overly heavy, but he wasn't sure he'd call it light, either, and the weight wasn't evenly distributed in the box. Furrowing his brow, he looked up at Gill and, upon receiving the okay, took the lid off the box to reveal a tiny, sleeping brown and white border collie puppy. "Blimey, you bought me a dog?" he asked, genuinely surprised. He'd already figured out Gill had bought him a trimmer for his facial hair so he could tidy it up a bit without shaving it off, and he was pretty sure she'd bought sexy lingerie to wear for him, but he had absolutely no idea about the puppy.

Gill smiled broadly, her whole face lighting up as she nodded. "Yep," she said proudly. She'd even managed to catch that he was genuinely surprised! "You said you wanted one a few weeks ago and I wasn't really fair in the way I responded. I thought your motives were less than.... innocent, I guess. I was pretty sure you wouldn't ask again after I was so awful about it, even though I could tell you wanted one, so... Say hello to your new little friend."

Cal couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "This is brilliant," he said, carefully lifting the sleeping pup out of its box. "I haven't had a dog since I was a kid."

"Well," Gill told him. "I know I told you it wasn't a replacement for a baby, but I thought we could probably both do with something little to share our love and attention with."

"Thank you, Gill," Cal said, gently scratching behind the dog's ears. "I really appreciate this. It was a fantastic surprise." To be honest, he didn't know Gill was able to hide things from him. He'd always been good at reading her in the past, even when he wasn't meant to. Now he'd have to watch her even more carefully!

"You're welcome, honey," she said, leaning in to kiss him. "Happy birthday." She removed the box from Cal's lap then and took out the towel that had been lining the bottom to rest over his pants.

"What are we going to name him?" Cal asked, setting the puppy in his lap and stroking its head.

"I don't know, that's up to you," Gill replied, walking back around to get in the driver's side of the car.

"Can we swap seats?" Cal asked when Gill got back in the car. "I'm not used to being the passenger while you drive. It's abnormal."

"It wasn't 'abnormal' when you used to go out drinking and call me at three in the morning to come and pick you up."

"It was, I just had a skin full and didn't know it," Cal told her. "Come on, love. It'll give you a chance to bond with Finn."

"Finn?" Gill asked, relenting and getting out of the driver's seat. Cal was such a man sometimes!

"Sure, why not? Like Huckleberry Finn. I used to love that book when I was a kid," he told her, getting out of the car and then reluctantly handing the dog over.

"Figures," Gill smiled, instantly cradling the puppy in her arms. So much for the dog not replacing a baby- it had taken all of about two seconds for Gill to enter mummy-mode, even if she was determined to hide it from Cal as much as possible."All of that mischief and adventure after he escapes from a life of having to bathe and go to church." She could see how Cal might have identified with the character. Stepping back into the car she closed the door and put her seatbelt on.

Cal didn't have to be an expert on body language to realise the reaction Gill had had to the puppy. He smiled to himself- yes, his motivation _had _been innocent in wanting a dog, but it appeared it was having unexpected benefits. As much as he wanted to call her on it he knew that would only cause problems. Instead, he smirked to himself and never said a word.


	29. Two Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

_I wrote this chapter one morning and revised it a little after I read 's fic 'Valentine's Day'. So, this one's for you, - thanks for having your Cal put a smile on my Gill's face, even when she probably doesn't deserve it!_

The chapter serves absolutely no purpose other than to satisfy a need I had to write mindless, pointless fluff. _ It's all I'm going to write about Cal's birthday, the next chapter will reveal how Gill deals with Loker._

Upon arriving home, Gill produced a pile of things that Cal had no idea she'd been hiding. There was a little bed for Finn, a few toys, dog bowls, a collar, food... everything he'd need, really. After a brief discussion they agreed he could sleep in the laundry- neither of them wanted the puppy outside by himself at night, especially when he was still so small. Gill set up his new 'bedroom' while Cal watched before they moved into the kitchen for coffee. "Do you like him?" she asked. She was leaning against the counter while she waited for the kettle to boil and watching Finn chase a ball around the floor, his nails clicking on the hardwood floors as he walked quickly after it.

"He's brilliant, love," Cal grinned broadly, watching as Finn trapped the ball in a corner and picked it up. The lie detection expert walked across the kitchen and stood in front of his wife, one arm on either side of her as he rested his hands on the kitchen counter, effectively trapping her between his body and the furniture- not that Gill minded! "I love you," he said, his lips pressing against Gill's softly.

Gill reached behind her and put her own hands on the counter, using them to boost herself up so she was sitting on it with Cal between her legs. She wrapped said legs loosely around Cal's waist, drawing him in closer as she leant forward and returned his kiss. "I love you, too," she smiled, reaching up to run her fingers through her husband's hair, tousling it lightly. Cal stroked his wife's lower back while she continued to play with his hair, both of them gazing into each other's eyes and stealing a tiny kiss every once in a while.

"Kettle's ready," Gill eventually murmured, earning a shrug from Cal.

"It's just hot water, it can wait," he told her, his lips connecting with hers again. His tongue came next, parting them gently as one arm wrapped around Gill's body and the other hand rested lightly on the side of her neck.

Gill brought one hand up to rest on the back of Cal's head while he French kissed her slowly and deeply, her other hand finding its way to rest on his chest. They stood there kissing like that for a long while, tongues sliding against each other slowly as they explored each other's mouths. Eventually the kiss ended when Finn, who Cal had been ignoring while he sniffed around his legs, barked once. Cal eased out of the kiss reluctantly, resting his forehead against Gill's and gazing into her eyes wordlessly for a few moments before he pulled away and looked down at the dog, discovering Finn's ball had somehow ended up between his feet and the bottom of the kitchen counter, and the dog was complaining because he couldn't get it out. He smiled and gently shifted it away with his foot before backing away from Gill and carefully helping her down from her perch on the counter. When she turned her back to tend to the kettle Cal wrapped his arms around her from behind, holding her back to his chest while she made their drinks.

"That was really nice," Gill told Cal, her voice and posture both extremely relaxed. Cal hummed his agreement and kissed Gill's shoulder, then kissed the side of her mouth when she turned her head to get closer to him. Much to Gill's disappointment, her husband let go then.

A second later he was beside the brunette, pressing a proper kiss to her lips before smiling warmly and picking up both of their coffees to carry to the table. He remembered what Gill had said about Alec's kissing, and he was sensitive to that now. He wasn't going to let it go with just a kiss to the side of the mouth.

When Gill realised Cal was making an effort to ensure she received a proper kiss on the lips that only made her love him more- he could be so thoughtful sometimes. She sat down at the table with her husband and put her bare feet up on his lap while she drank her coffee, both of them content with the comfortable silence between them. Cal's free hand rested lightly on one of Gill's ankles while they drank, and Gill knew it had been worth the wait to find a man as amazing as her husband. She had absolutely no doubt that he was the man she was meant to spend the rest of her life with, and her relationship with Alec had only made her appreciate him more.

Cal gazed adoringly at his wife, taking in her relaxed posture and facial expression. He couldn't believe she was really his after all these years. The funny thing was, he was sure after he and Zoe got divorced that he would never let himself read his partner's face again. Gill had encouraged it, though, insisting she wanted to be completely open about her feelings and not hide anything from him, her distaste for secrecy an unfortunate legacy with which Alec had left her. 99% of the time, Cal noticed that Gill seemed to revel in the way he watched her closely. He didn't do it constantly, but he checked in periodically to see how she was feeling without needing words. The thing that astounded him more than anything else was that, unlike Zoe, Gill had never shown a single second of doubt. He'd been terrified he was going to see it at the altar, his heart pounding in his chest and his stomach twisting in knots that made him glad he'd skipped breakfast, but as Gill walked towards him and took his breath away with how beautiful she looked her eyes never left his, and he never saw anything but love and acceptance.

"What are you thinking about?" Gill asked with a lazy grin, cocking her head to the side while she studied her husband's facial expression.

Cal snapped out of his daydream, looking at Gill and scowling. "Nothing," he told her.

"You were getting all mushy in your head," she accused him gently, her smile growing. "I know that look on you."

"Men don't get mushy," Cal defended himself, earning a yelp then a little laugh from Gill as he tickled the bottom of her feet and she pulled them away.

Gill stood up and leant over, pressing her lips to Cal's yet again. "When are you going to realise you can't hide your feelings from me?" she asked with a smile. "It's okay to be sensitive and vulnerable around me, Cal." She kissed him softly again, then picked up their empty mugs. "I love that side of you. I'm your wife. I _want _for you to adore me. I live for seeing that look on your face," she told him, kissing his forehead this time before walking over to put the mugs in the dishwasher.

"No, Finn!" Cal chastised gently, getting up and gently pulling the puppy away when he tried to climb into the open dishwasher. "You don't want to go in there, mate," he told the dog, squatting down next to him and pulling him away from the machine. "Gill?" he eventually said.

"Yes, honey?" she replied, turning to give him her full attention.

Cal shifted a little uncomfortably and Gill remained quiet and patient. He was obviously feeling a little awkward about whatever he had to say. "I _may _have been thinking about how you looked on our wedding day."

Gill smiled. "Oh, you mean that night when I wore the matching bra and panties with the..." she moved her hands as she spoke indicating where her bra straps would be.

"No, not our wedding _night_," he corrected her, although that had been fun. "Our wedding _day_. When you walked down the aisle." His cheeks were a little flush with embarrassment now, and Gill couldn't help but think how cute it was. She'd known exactly what he'd been talking about before he said it- she'd seen love on his face, not arousal. She just enjoyed hearing him talk about it- it made her whole body tingle. What woman didn't want to be loved and adored by the man of her dreams? Especially when that man was her husband!

"That day I said the smartest thing I've ever said in my life," she told Cal. He looked at her face. Gill wasn't lying, she honestly believed her claim.

"What was that, love?" he asked curiously. Gill was an exceptionally intelligent woman, it was hard to imagine what the smartest thing she'd _ever _said was.

His wife's smile grew. "I stood in front of you, and all of our friends and family, and said two words.... 'I do'."


	30. Kind Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

_So, this is how I saw Gill dealing with Loker. I'm not sure what you guys will think of it, but if you hit that little Review button and let me know I'd be very happy to hear!_

Gill stood in front of the mirror on Monday morning, looking herself over and brushing creases out of her dress that really weren't there. She'd opted to wear a relatively plain black dress without sleeves, and a tiny slit up the back. It was professional and trod the line for being sexy.

"Is this stunning woman really my wife?" Cal asked, walking up beside Gill. He rested a hand on her backside and leant around to give her a kiss. "You look fantastic, love. Not nervous about your little meeting with Loker, are you?" he asked.

Gill sighed and rolled her eyes. "No, Cal, I'm not," she assured him, kissing him on the lips. "If anything I'm anxious about leaving Finn here by himself for the first time. Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Yeah, right as rain," Cal said without the slightest hint of worry, waving his hand nonchalantly. "I'll duck home at lunch and check on him. It's just a few hours, really."

"Alright," Gill agreed, picking up her necklace and handing it to Cal. "Could you put this on me, please?" she requested, lifting her hair out of the way to allow him access.

Cal happily obliged, kissing the side of Gill's neck while her hair was out of the way anyway. "So... what's your big plan for Loker, then?"

"I thought you trusted me," Gill smiled.

"I do, love. I'm just making conversation with my wife."

Gill smirked and shook her head. "You just can't help yourself, can you? You need to learn to let go. You can't control everything."

"Alright, alright," Cal agreed defensively, taking a step back. "You're wearing odd shoes, by the way," he threw in casually, a grin appearing on his face when Gill looked down. "Glad you're not nervous, love," he chuckled, walking off and leaving a slightly flustered Gill staring at the matching pair of shoes she was wearing. She rolled her eyes- it was going to be a long day.

Gill waited until Loker had been at work for a full hour before she stood up from her desk. Glancing around her office, she checked to make sure it was neat and tidy before walking down to find him in the AV lab. "Loker?" she said, knocking lightly on the door. "Could I see you in my office, please?"

Eli spun around, his face flushing instantly. He'd hoped to avoid Dr. Foster. He was ashamed of his actions, and he really didn't want to see the woman he admired and respected, and had then made derogatory remarks about. He nodded and set his headphones down, getting up and following Gill back to her office.

Gill walked in and sat down behind her desk, taking a more professional approach than usual. Under normal circumstances she'd have sat on one of the armchairs- it made people feel a lot more comfortable, both physically and mentally, and she felt like it made her more approachable. "Take a seat," she instructed, gesturing to one of the guest chairs and waiting for Loker to sit down. She could see how awkward he was finding this. "Cal tells me you might be leaving us," Gill said with a slight frown, shifting some papers on her desk.

"Uhh... Yeah, seems that way," Loker agreed. What had Lightman told her? He was having a hard time making eye contact, but she seemed calm and composed, and not at all embarrassed. He got the feeling she was under the impression he was leaving voluntarily.

"I wish you'd told me," Gill said, a little sad. She looked up at Loker after a second. "I've always felt like we've had a good working relationship, and I thought you trusted me on a personal level, too. I'm sorry if I've done something to make you feel like you couldn't have approached me about this... I know I've been busy lately, but I would have made time."Loker swallowed hard and squirmed slightly, doing his best to control the emotional response he was having. Gill didn't miss a single twitch. "Have you had another job offer?" she asked.

Loker shook his head. "No, not yet. I guess it was just time to move on." He was feeling awful now. She honestly had no idea what he'd said. He could tell.

"I wish I could convince you to stay," Gill said. "Cal told me he didn't have a problem with you leaving, but I told him how much we need you. You're a huge part of the team, and you're someone I've come to trust and rely on. Plus, you're a friend." She paused briefly. "Dr. Lightman doesn't necessarily agree with me, but I convinced him that you're an asset and we should do whatever we can to keep you around."

'_Great,' _Loker thought. _'I've treated her like dirt and she's been going to bat for me with Lightman.'_

"You know I've been going over the budgets," Gill said, shifting the papers in front of her for effect. "I've put down your old annual salary, plus a ten percent increase to account for inflation and performance... I don't know how you feel about this, but I was also thinking some of the equipment in your AV lab could do with updating. I know you've been watching lots of video on herd mentality and I thought maybe if we could make that easier for you somehow you might be inclined to stay? It's not a huge amount, granted, but you could definitely replace the existing equipment you use in there... or get something additional, if that's what you needed. I managed to tighten our belts a bit in some areas, and I figure I can cut back on my own research budget for the year... I can wait twelve months to start something new and just publish findings from the research I've already done, maybe try to find something new in the old videos and audio recordings.... Please? Will you stay?"

Loker didn't know what to say. He felt about half an inch tall. The woman he respected and then betrayed was unwittingly showing him all of the reasons he had come to admire and look up to her. Of all of the punishments he could have had, her kind words were the worst of all.


	31. Words of Defeat

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

_This one's only relatively short but I'd still be keen to hear what you think. A little bit more confident/assertive Gill, and slightly obnoxious Cal (who I kinda like :P)  
_

When Cal saw Loker a short time later, the young man ducked his head and kept his eyes down, walking past him silently. His shoulders were hunched and he was bent over slightly. His body language was that of someone who was incredibly ashamed of themself. The older man raised an eyebrow and turned to watch Loker's back as he left. What had Gill done to him? She was normally so sweet!

"Hey," he said, walking into Gill's office and plopping down on one of her armchairs comfortably and swinging his feet up onto the coffee table.

"Come in, take a seat," Gill encouraged sarcastically. "Get your feet off my coffee table. You know better than that."

Cal brought his feet back down to rest on the floor, sitting up a bit. "I just saw Loker," he told Gill, reaching over and picking up an apple out of her fruit bowl.

Gill wondered if Cal was intentionally trying to be obnoxious today. He got in moods like that sometimes, where he tried to push her buttons, and she was ashamed to say it worked- he knew just how to irritate her to get a reaction. "That's nice," she commented. "Can I do something for you?"

Cal shrugged. "It looks like you really, uh..." he paused, taking a bite out of the apple, then talking with his mouth full. "Beat him into submission."

Gill rolled her eyes. "Cal, if you came in here to irritate me and use bad manners you're doing a fantastic job of it," she told him. "Mission accomplished. Can you stop talking with your mouth full now, please?"

Cal rolled his eyes. "Wow, you're really on a roll today, love," he said. "I think I like this side of you. Confident and assertive and all that. I haven't seen it in ages. Not since just after your divorce came through."

"Well, I'm perfectly capable of asserting myself when I need to," Gill informed Cal. "I'd prefer that people do the right thing because they respect me, though," she said, looking at him pointedly. He knew he was behaving poorly. "I don't like having to be like this, I remind myself of Zoe. Nobody wants to be around a bitch, Cal, but if that's what it takes to get the job done..."

"Oi, Zoe was not a bitch," Cal defended her. When Gill raised an eyebrow he gave in. "Okay, so she could be a bit... prickly."

"That could be the understatement of the century, but I'll let it slide," Gill replied.

"Look, whatever you said or did to Loker seems to 'ave worked. I've never seen anyone looking so thoroughly chastised and repentant. What'd you do?"

"I put him back on his old salary effective immediately, with a 10% increase for inflation and performance-based pay, and cut my own research budget to allocate extra funding to his research projects for the next 12 months," Gill stated matter-of-factly.

"Are you out of your bleedin' mind?!" Cal asked. "He goes around treating you like dirt, and you reward him?"

"Have you ever heard of the phrase 'killing someone with kindness', Cal?" Gill asked. She knew he had. "I don't have to be harsh to get results. You said yourself he looked like he regretted his actions. My methods are just different to yours."

Cal tilted his head to the side and studied Gill, his mouth open slightly.

"Don't look at me like that," she told him. "I'm not a bad person. 99.9% of the time I'm the sweet, friendly Gill that you fell in love with," she said. "But if you mess with me there are going to be consequences, and I _will _win."

Cal rested his chin on his hand and continued to look at Gill, amazed. She didn't break eye contact or make a sound, holding strong. There was something about this side of her.... After a minute or two Cal lifted his chin up off his hand and smiled proudly at her. "Fancy a shag, love?" he asked.

Gill rolled her eyes then shook her head and smiled, amused. "Don't you have work to do?"

"Probably," Cal replied, standing up and walking towards the door. He stopped when he got there, turning to face Gill. "You were right," he said. "From the looks of things this morning you did a much better job at dealing with Loker than I did. Sorry, love. Well done," Cal told her before slipping out of Gill's office.

Gill sat and stared at the door. Not only had Cal told her she'd done well, he'd admitted he was wrong. Cal Lightman never did that! His words of defeat had left her stunned.


	32. Effective Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

_Gill makes her first attempt to find out what Cal's been up to. All will be revealed in the next two chapters._

As the weeks passed Cal returned to being secretive, often sitting deep in thought until Gillian entered the room, then changing what was on his screen, or hiding some sort of booklets or pamphlets where she couldn't see them. Any time she asked him if he wanted to share he refused, and it was starting to get to Gill. She didn't like secrets after what had happened with Alec, and it was hard for her to trust Cal and not punish him for the mistakes her ex-husband had made. Every now and then Cal would go for a few days without the obvious attempts to hide things from her, then they'd start again. It was the one blemish on what Gill saw as their otherwise perfect marriage.

"Cal?" she said one morning, catching him during their cuddle time. They tried to make time every morning when they woke up to just lay in bed together. Sometimes they talked, other times they were silent, but every time they enjoyed the opportunity to be near the person they loved without interruptions.

"Yes, love?" he replied, pulling Gill a little closer and sniffing her hair.

"I know I've asked before, but is there anything you want to talk to me about?" she asked.

"Nope," he replied casually. He knew she was talking about him hiding things, and as bad as he felt for putting her through it, it was something he'd considered very carefully before he'd decided to go ahead with it.

"Nothing at all?" Gill asked sadly. She hated that he felt he had to hide things from her.

Cal hesitated. "We could talk about trying for kids," he decided. Not what he'd been hiding from her, but if she was going to keep giving him an opening of course he was going to jump in and take it at some point!

"You know how I feel about that," Gill replied, her body tensing against her husband's.

"Then I've got nothing to say," Cal told her. He'd already argued his case to Gill, she just didn't seem to want to listen. Either that or she didn't care, but Cal doubted that very much. Gill was the most caring woman he knew.

"Honey, you can't keep shutting me out like this," she said gently. "I know something's going on. Why won't you talk to me?"

"There's nothing to talk about," Cal said. "I can't force you to start a family, and I wouldn't want to. I don't want you resenting me and our child because you felt like you were under duress. As for the rest of it, that's private."

"Private even from your wife?" Gill asked, sitting up to look at him.

"There's a such thing as too much honesty in a marriage," Cal told her.

"You're really quoting Zoe to me?" Gill asked. Zoe had said that to Cal on multiple occasions, and Gill had been witness to at least two.

"She's probably right, you know," Cal pointed out.

"And lies and secrecy can destroy a marriage just as easily. We both saw how that's worked in the past."

"I'm not Alec, Gillian," Cal told her. "I'm not taking drugs, and I'm not cheating on you. You know I wouldn't do that."

"Then what's so bad that you can't tell me?" she asked. "Are you sick, Cal?" she wondered, her voice full of concern.

"Hey, don't get upset," Cal said, sitting up and kissing Gill's cheek. "I'm not sick, I promise. It's nothing bad, I just have a decision to make and I'm weighing up all of my options before I make it."

"You're not putting our names down with adoption agencies without me knowing, are you?" Gill asked.

Cal shook his head. "No, love. I wouldn't go behind your back like that. I promise you when I've made a decision you'll be the first and only person I tell before I act on it, alright? You need to trust me. I promise, it won't lead do us having a child."

Gillian nodded hesitantly. "Alright," she agreed reluctantly, reaching out to trace the outline of her name on Cal's tattoo with her fingertip."When are you going to get something done about this, then?" she asked, her finger falling to the blank banner.

"I told you, love," Cal replied. "It's staying like that until we have a name to put there." He was standing strong on this. In all honesty, he still believed having children- or at least _a _child- was the right thing for Gillian, and he hoped he'd be able to convince her of that.

"You're so stubborn, it drives me insane sometimes," Gill told him, blue eyes meeting Cal's blue-green ones.

Cal shrugged. "So're you," he replied simply. "Months of trying to convince you to start a family haven't gotten me anywhere."

"You haven't been trying to convince me the whole time," Gill pointed out.

"Would it have made a difference if I had?"

"No," Gill conceded. "I've already made up my mind."

"Then what would be the point?" Cal asked. "You know how badly I want another kid, but you choose to ignore it. I have to accept that. No matter what, I'll always have Emily."

"_We'll_ always have Emily," Gill corrected him quietly. It was only recently she'd gotten used to the idea of Emily actually being her step daughter.

"Sorry, love. That's right," Cal agreed. "_We'll_ always have Emily. You, me and Zoe."

Gillian bristled. Cal's words had had the desired effect.


	33. Shocking Words

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.

_Ok, so I wrote this ages ago and when I realised that it was the next chapter to be posted I couldn't resist, so you're getting two within a shorter time period than normal. This is primarily because I'll be stuck at work today. I'm hoping you'll be moved to review this one and share your opinion one way or another, and that those reviews will help to ease the pain inflicted by my tiresome job and painful co-workers. Just sayin'.... :P _

_I'm anticipating there will be strong reactions one way or another here, and probably in the next chapter, too._

A few months passed without any change. Cal continued to hide things from Gill periodically, and every time Gill brought it up he refused to discuss it. Gill continued to refuse to try for a family, and despite his wife's pleas Cal wouldn't stop wearing condoms when they had sex. Cal had had a few doctors appointments over the course of the previous fortnight and Gill couldn't continue to trust him blindly the way she had been. Something was going on, and it was something big. She was his wife, and she had a right to know.

Cal had often heard Gill in another room with Finn, feeding him, playing with him, giving him a bath or even just sitting with him while she did something. She never showed it in front of Cal, but he could hear it in her voice on the rare occasions he walked past a room and Gill thought she was alone with the dog. She'd really bonded with Finn, and whether she'd admit it or not she was treating him like her child. When they were alone, she'd often refer to him as her 'good little boy' and ask 'you want mummy to scratch your tummy, sweetie?' Of course, there were also the cutesy pet names she used on him, and the way she spoke to him in a baby voice. She brushed and fussed over him every single day, cooking meals for him from scratch rather than feeding him dog food from a can, and telling Cal she'd read it was better for him. She had read it, but Cal was sure regular dog food would have been just as good. They couldn't go shopping without Gill wanting to stop and buy the dog a toy or some form of treat, and Cal was sure the collection of photos Gill had of Finn rivalled the amount he and Zoe had of Emily as a baby. Of course, that also meant there was a framed photo of the dog on her desk. Cal was just glad it had joined the picture of them under the Eiffel Tower on their honeymoon rather than replacing it. There was absolutely no doubt in her husband's mind that Gill was still desperate for a child, whether she was too afraid to try or not, and that Finn was filling that void... for now.

Cal was watching the West Ham game one night when Gill entered the room. She normally let him have his 'man' time, but she'd decided it was time to stand up to him and she couldn't put it off any longer. Enough was enough. She reached over and picked the remote up off the coffee table, switching the television off.

"Oi!" Cal complained. "I was watching that!" Finn's ears pricked up and he hopped down off the couch- that and the bed were the only places Gill didn't let him in the house, but he often snuck up there when she wasn't around.

"It will be replayed later," Gill told him, setting the remote down and glaring at him when he leaned forward to pick it up.

Cal got the message and sat back on the couch, giving Gill the once over. Normally the only reason she interrupted him when he was watching it was to seduce him, but he could see from her posture and the look on his face that he wasn't getting any tonight. "Okay, fair point.." he said reluctantly, waiting then for her to speak.

Gill paced back and forth nervously for a minute or two, only slightly phased by Cal's intense gaze. She'd been so sure of herself and what she wanted to say before she stepped into the room, but if she was honest with herself she really wasn't that good at standing up to Cal in personal situations. At work she could do it when she had to, but at home she hated feeling like a bitch. He was her husband and she loved him, she didn't want to have to be forceful to get him to speak to her. It should come naturally. "Cal..." she started. _'No. Too cold.' _"Honey," she corrected herself, her pacing slowing. "You know I love you and I trust you with my life, don't you?" she asked.

Cal raised an eyebrow, wondering where this is going. "Yeah, I s'pose," he agreed hesitantly.

"And that I've been very patient and understanding while we've been married, and although I've tried to speak to you about what you've been hiding from me I've trusted you and backed off when you asked me to..."

"You have," Cal agreed, nodding. It was finally coming to a head.

"You put in for two days leave next week and you didn't tell me about it. Heidi did," Gill said. "I want to know what's going on."

Cal shifted a little, moving to sit more comfortably. "Is that so?" he asked calmly. Finn settled at his master's feet.

"Yes," Gill told him, standing firm. "I'm your wife and I love you. I deserve to know. I can't live with secrets like this anymore."

"No secrets," Cal replied. "I don't know what you're talking about." Of course, he was lying through his teeth.

"Cal Lightman, don't you _dare _lie to me," Gillian responded, her voice raised slightly a fire in her eyes Cal couldn't remember seeing in a very, very long time. _'Bloody hell that's sexy...' _he thought, before mentally chastising himself. Now was not the time. He watched as Finn stood up and walked over to Gill, turning to face Cal, ready to protect Gill if necessary. Of course, the dog didn't understand there was no threat, he just knew it was rare to see Gill upset.

Cal had been expecting this for quite some time, waiting for it, letting things build up slowly to this moment. "I just need some time off."

"Without me?" Gill asked sadly. That was worse than secrets and lies!

"There's not really anything you can do to contribute to how I'll be spending my time," Cal told her, being honest.

"And how is it you'll be spending your time, Cal?" Gill was becoming irritated now, and it was evident in her voice.

"I'm having a medical procedure," he said. He could practically feel the tension building. He hated himself for this, but he couldn't think of a better way.

"What medical procedure?!" Gill asked, suddenly concerned. She walked over and sat next to him on the couch, resting a hand on his thigh. "Honey, you promised me you weren't sick. What's going on?" she asked. Her heart was pounding in her chest. This had been going on for months. How could Cal be sick for that long and not tell her about it?

"I'm not sick," Cal assured Gill, resting a hand on top of hers. He paused and then looked into her eyes. "I'm having a vasectomy." His words hit her like a Mack truck freewheeling down a hill


	34. Sensual Words

_Okay, some strong reactions to the last chapter as expected. I especially appreciate Fearsome Foursome's honest review (really!)- I didn't take the criticism personally. I think in dealing with subjects like this there are going to be lots of emotions and sometimes that doesn't bring out the best in characters. As readers (and writers) we're bound to react and for me that doesn't mean that we always have to like a character, or like everything they do. I hope, though, that as things settle down for Cal & Gillian Cal will start to redeem himself in the eyes of those of you who think he's been insensitive. Also, I know what Cal did is wrong, and Cal the character knows it. I don't condone his behaviour, but that's how the story came out and frankly I don't think he needs to be perfect. Everybody makes bad choices sometimes... Anyway, this one's probably not going to go over too well with some of you, but at least we're making progress. Two things- I didn't intend to wait this long to post, my literature review was due and it's been kicking my butt. Also, FULL CREDIT TO who wrote the last line of the chapter and gave it its name when my brain was too scrambled from uni work to come up with one. Don't forget to hit that review button!_

Gill didn't think she'd ever been so stunned in all her life. Cal noticed surprise on her face first, then watched it slowly change as she thought it over. First she was angry (he should have talked to her about it!), then her face appeared to relax as she realised he wasn't sick. That didn't last long, though, before there was a look of realisation on her face, and her expression changed to despair. "Honey, no," she said softly, holding one of his hands in both of hers.

"Why not?" Cal asked. "You hate that I use condoms, and it's pointless you going on the pill when it's not a temporary solution you want. You said no kids, and this is a way we can ensure that without me having to use protection. I know you hate that and it's been going on for far too long." She'd told him before she hated condoms because they were a barrier between them, and Cal had to admit he agreed, even if he didn't feel as strongly about it as Gill did. "The procedure's next Thursday. I've been looking into it for a long time and I think it's the right thing for us. It's fairly routine, and I'll just be a bit sore for a while, then we won't have to worry about you getting pregnant anymore."

"Please don't," Gill requested hopefully.

"Why not?" Cal asked calmly. He hoped Gill had reached the realisation he was anticipating. He'd just needed to give her a serious shove in the right direction. Of course, if she really didn't realise now that she wanted children Cal was going to go ahead with the procedure. He respected her right to say she couldn't deal with it, and he was happy to be the one who underwent surgery so that they'd have a more practical and permanent method of birth control.

"I asked you not to," Gill told him, becoming more worked up. "We should have talked about this together. It's not just your decision."

"Gill, we can't keep going on like this," he told her. "The procedure's already booked and I've cleared my calendar of work commitments. You haven't given me one good reason why I shouldn't go ahead with it. I'm having the vasectomy next Thursday."

Gill's emotions came to the surface quickly then, and she reacted. "I don't want you to not be able to make babies with me!" she cried, bursting into tears and wrapping her arms tightly around Cal, holding onto him desperately. "Please," she begged. "I promise I'll try."

Cal felt like a grade-A bastard, but he knew he'd gotten results. It was a pity that in manipulating Gill he'd made his victory feel so hollow. In his lengthiest attempt yet, he'd chalked up another win with the Cal Lightman long con. Months of careful planning had paid off. He'd planted the seed and watched it grown. Gill had been wondering what he was up to, and by waiting for her to confront him and demand an answer Gill had known he was 100% serious about it, rather than thinking he was just saying it to get a reaction. Finally, when faced with the possibility of never being able to do so, Gill had put her fears aside and finally admitted she wanted to try to have a baby with him. He'd won, but he still felt like he'd lost. He knew manipulating her was wrong, even if it was for what he saw as 'the greater good'. He swallowed his guilt- he'd made a decision he shouldn't have, manipulating his own wife, and he'd have to live with that now. No feeling sorry for himself.

"Hey, it's alright, love," Cal said soothingly, wrapping his arms around his wife protectively. "Come on, don't cry. I'm not pushing you to start a family, I'm trying to do the right thing by you, even if I'm not overly happy about someone messing around down near the boys, if you know what I mean."

"No, Cal, please," Gill insisted. "I do want to have a family with you, I'm just scared."

"I know you are," Cal sympathised, rubbing her back soothingly. "I'm scared too. I don't want to go through that again either, but I want this enough that I'm willing to risk it. The feeling I get when I see Emily is worth risking the pain of losing another child. I know I get frustrated with you about this and I might come off as unsympathetic sometimes but honestly, I'm not. I just want to see you happy and I really believe that the way to get you there is for you... no... _us... _to have a child together."

Gill sat back a little, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. "What are you talking about, Cal?" she asked him. Had her husband finally lost it? They'd never been pregnant as a couple, and Sophie was very much hers and Alec's.

"My little boy," Cal said quietly, swallowing hard. He wasn't going to cry in front of Gill. "Zoe and I. We... ah, he... she went into labour months too early and the doctors couldn't stop it. He died the next day... It was, ah... when we said she had her appendix out," he told Gill, not quite able to say it articulately. He hadn't ever told anyone before. "We tried for another baby for ages after, but I don't think she could handle it." He paused and scratched his head a little. "I never found any evidence but I'm sure she started taking the pill again without telling me so she wouldn't have to risk losing another one. I never had the heart to call her on it, I knew what she was going through and I couldn't blame her.... I was bloody gutted myself."

"Oh, Cal," Gillian said softly and sympathetically. "I had no idea. Why didn't you ever say anything?" She'd accused him countless times of being insensitive and not knowing what it was like, when all along he'd understood, he'd just had a strange way of dealing with it.

"I didn't want to upset you," Cal told her honestly, reaching out to play with Gill's hair. "When it came up we always ended up talking about Sophie and the problems you'd had in the past. You needed me to be strong for you, not prattle on about my stuff."

"Honey, I don't want you to hide your feelings from me. Not ever," Gill said, resting her forehead against Cal's.

"It wasn't appropriate to talk about them then," Cal argued. "You needed me. I promised you I'd support you through whatever happens and I meant it. I _still _mean it. If you really want this I'll be by your side every step of the way. No shutting you out." He refused to be like Alec. If they had a problem they'd deal with it together.

"I do really want this," Gill assured Cal, nodding. "I just... Promise you won't leave me if it doesn't work?" she requested, her voice as timid as Cal had ever heard it.

"Oh, Gill... Nothing would ever make me leave you, darling," he replied gently, leaning in to kiss her lips softly.

Gill took comfort in that, and she believed every word he said. "I'll make an appointment with my gynaecologist for next week," she decided, wiping at her eyes. She couldn't believe she was actually agreeing to do this.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Cal offered, running his hand up and down Gill's arm gently. He could see she was scared.

Gill nodded and smiled, wiping away the last of her tears. "Yes please," she requested, returning Cal's kiss from earlier. "She'll probably do an examination and then talk about what we can do to increase my chances of conceiving." She'd been through it with Alec, although he'd resisted any form of help before they'd given it a proper chance. It seemed funny that the drug addict who was happy to abuse chemical substances refused to let his wife take medication that might help her fall pregnant.

"Your gyno's a woman?" Cal asked, surprised.

Gill nodded. "I don't feel comfortable letting another man down there," she informed him. Yes, it would be innocent enough, but Gill just preferred for her husband to be the only man who was looking at her or touching her down there. Cal couldn't say he felt differently.

"Fair enough," Cal agreed, his eyes wandering over Gill's face.

"You knew I'd react like this when you told me, didn't you?" Gill called him on it.

Cal nodded but didn't speak.

"Did you have any intention of going through with it?" She honestly had needed a push in the right direction, and even if Cal had done the wrong thing, she was glad she'd reached the decision. What she couldn't handle, though, was if he'd done it with no intention of going through with the procedure. _That _would be truly manipulative.

Cal nodded again. "Yes. The appointment's all set. I've read the literature, weighed up the pros and cons. I honestly think that if you really don't want children this is the best option for us."

"I do, I just.... I need more time."

Cal nods slowly, kissing Gill's forehead. "Alright, love. We'll take as long as you need. And if you want or need to talk to me, or to someone else about it... like a professional, we can arrange that, okay? All I want is for you to be happy." 

Gill nods slowly. "I've accepted it, it just hurts still." 

"I know it does," Cal whispers, holding Gill close. 

"Cal, you know that if I ever find out that you had no intention of going ahead with that surgery you're in more trouble than you could possibly imagine, right?" Gill asks. Cal nods his response. "Alright, as long as we're on the same page," she tells him.

"God you're beautiful," Cal said after a few minutes, almost as if he'd never noticed before.

Gill's cheeks flushed lightly. "Beautiful enough to make love to?" she asked softly. She knew she wouldn't fall pregnant first go- this was going to be a long, hard road- but she wanted to be with Cal now, and feel close to him.

Cal nodded. "Over and over again. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met," he said, leaning in to kiss Gill tenderly.

"No more barriers between us?" she asked, her lips barely leaving Cal's to speak.

Cal smiled. Trust Gill. "No more barriers," he agreed. "Just you and me, love, making each other feel good. What do you say?"

Gill smiled softly, pressing her lips firmer to Cal's, intending to heed to his sensual words.


	35. FreeFlowing Words

Gill had managed to get an appointment with her gynaecologist the following week, and Cal watched as, day by day, she became increasingly anxious. It started off as simple things- being a little distracted at times or forgetting what she was doing. By day three of their wait it wasn't uncommon for Cal to see her staring into space, her mind obviously elsewhere. She was a little more restless sleeping at night, and by the day before she'd started to become a little short with people, snapping more easily than she normally would with people she'd normally be patient with.

The day of her appointment she'd gone to work, but she was completely useless. She just wanted to get it over and done with. By mid-morning she'd typed one sentence and her cursor sat blinking at her, counting the seconds that passed without her moving it. She closed her word-processor to stop the near-blank page from taunting her any further and sighed. Her appointment was at 1.30. She glanced at the clock. 10.45. How was she going to last another 2 hours and 45 minutes?

'_Just write one more sentence,' _she willed herself. _'Starting's the hardest bit. Once you do it'll come easily. You know what you have to write, so just do it!' _Her fingers hovered over the keys on her keyboard but it was no use, she couldn't concentrate. Standing up, she took her results, a notepad and a pen and headed towards the only place she knew she was likely to find any sense of calm- Cal's office. She poked her head in to see if he was there and knocked quietly when she did.

Cal looked up from what he was doing and smiled adoringly. "Problem, love?" he asked her.

Gill held up the papers in her hand. "Just a little writer's block," she told him. "I'm trying to type that paper on recognising vocal expressions of different positive states, but I just can't seem to get started."

Cal knew that was only partially true. "Happens to the best of us, love," he assured her, even though Gill knew it already. "Change of scenery might help. D'you want to sit in my study for a bit?" he offered.

Gill nodded gratefully, thankful Cal didn't call her on what the real problem was- or at least the root of the problem. "You're sure you don't mind?" she asked as she stepped into his office, ready to make her way through to the study.

"Course not," Cal assured her. "Here," he said, standing up and taking his suit jacket off. "It's a bit chilly in there this morning. I think the air conditioning repairman did his job a bit too well," he grinned, holding the garment out for her. He knew this was just the first step in what would probably be a long and difficult journey for them, but he wanted to show Gill that he was going to be there to love and support her every single step of the way.

Gill's eyes lit up. She approached Cal slowly and set her papers down on his desk, allowing him to put his suit coat on her. "Thank you," she whispered, kissing him softly then picking her papers up again. They weren't meant to kiss at work- her rule, not his- but rules were made to be broken from time to time. She knew for a fact that Cal was lying about the temperature, she'd seen it all over his face, but she appreciated the gesture. Wrapped up in his jacket, she felt almost like he had his arms around her. If nothing else, it smelt like him, and she took some comfort in that.

Cal nodded and touched her hand lightly. "You'll just be in there if I need you, yeah?" he asked. Of course, what he meant was 'I'll just be out here if you need me.'

"Yeah," Gill agreed with a smile. She lingered for a moment before she turned and walked into Cal's office, taking up residence on the arm chair there. She tucked her legs up underneath her and rotated her body to get the right angle so all she had to do was glance up and she could see her husband.

Cal wanted to look in on Gill, but didn't want her to feel like he was watching her too closely. He'd made an effort to comfort her, but he didn't think she'd want to feel like he was hovering too much- he did have a tendency to be a little over-protective when it came to her. Loker could testify to that. Instead, he glued his eyes to his computer screen and forced himself to get back to work. He could glance up in a little while, when she was settled.

Gill spent a minute or two watching Cal before turning her attention to the research in her hands. When she picked up her pen and put it to paper, it was amazing how freely the words now flowed.

_A/N: I 'borrowed' the idea of the study from real research. If any of you are lucky enough to have access to uni research databases it's:_

Sauter, D.A. & Scott, S.K (2007). More than one kind of happiness: Can we recognize vocal expressions of different positive states?_ Motivation and Emotion, 31(3), _192-199.

_I believe the research uses Paul Ekman's work as a starting point, and that Ekman built on it with the authors and presented findings at a conference in 2009._


	36. Harsh Words

_I wasn't sure if this was the direction I wanted to take with the story. I'd ummed and ahhed about it a lot, and I've delayed posting, but I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and go for it- especially since I'd already written three chapters on it. Here goes nothing...._

Several weeks later Gill was making slow progress with the doctors. She'd been taking their advice and they had been running tests to see if they could determine exactly what was making it difficult for Gill to conceive. Meanwhile, they had a list of instructions and suggestions as long as her arm, and Gill and Cal were making sure they followed every one of them to the letter. It was Sunday afternoon, and Gill was just about going out of her mind. It was raining outside, and had been all week, and the brunette was bored, itching to do something... _anything_. "Cal," she said, interrupting his attempts to complete the crossword puzzle in the Sunday paper.

"Gill," Cal replied, looking up at her with a smile.

"Do you want to play a game?" she asked. Cal's ears pricked up. "Not that sort of game," she smirked, shaking her head. They were meant to be abstaining this week, and it was driving both of them insane. They knew, though, that it was what the doctor had ordered.

Cal pouted. "Alright, love," he told her, putting the paper down to give her his full attention.

"Let's go upstairs, and we can pick one item of each other's clothing to throw out," she suggested.

Cal raised an eyebrow. "On a scale of one to ten, your boredom has officially reached three billion, hasn't it?" he asked.

"Yes," Gill whined, tugging his hand gently. "Come on, you never know what we might find going through our stuff. It might be fun."

Her husband sighed quietly and got up. "The things you talk me into, woman," he told her. "I don't even need to go upstairs to pick. I already know." He followed her anyway.

"I own something you hate that much?" Gill asked. Truth be told, she already knew what she was getting rid of that belonged to Cal.

"Hate's a strong word... I'm not fond of it."

"Okay..." Gill agreed, wondering what it could be. She walked into their bedroom and sat down on the bed. "Alright, show me what you've got," she told him with a smile.

Cal walked right over to the closet without any hesitation and pulled out one of Gill's gray dresses. It had sleeves that came down just past her elbows, and it covered most of her knees.

"That dress?" Gill asked. Not at all what she'd expected.

"It's gray... which I like you in when the dress is revealing or at least a bit sort of... y'know, snug.. This is neither," he told her. "If it was pink or red I might spare it, but this belongs in the tip. You're sexy as all get out, you shouldn't cover yourself up like that in a colour that detracts attention from your figure... Not that I want anyone else checking you out." He made sure he was clear on that last point.

Gill laughed gently. "Alright," she agreed. "Put it next to the door, I'll take it to Goodwill tomorrow."

Cal did as she asked, then turned to face her. "Go on, then, love. Have a look through my stuff and pick something."

Gill hopped off the bed and went straight to Cal's underwear drawer, retrieving a pair of faded red briefs. She turned around and held them up, a finger in either side of the waist band being used to stretch them slightly.

"Oi! Not those!" he told Gill. "They were freebies in a multi-pack. Don't y'know you're not meant to throw free stuff away?"

Gill laughed. "Cal, they're awful," she told him. "You look much sexier in boxers than you do in briefs, especially red ones. Not even Superman looks good in them. I can see why they were giving them away."

"Those are some decent knickers, love," Cal protested. "They're a bit faded, but they keep the boys comfortable, and the elastic in the waist is till good."

"The doctor said you're not meant to wear briefs anyway," Gill reminded him. "You need to keep 'the boys' as you like to call them, in boxers. They need space, not to be cooped up in a horrible red prison."

Cal sighed. "Fine," he agreed, walking over to Gill's underwear drawer. "These," he said, holding up a pair of control-top panties. "Granny knickers."

Gill laughed. "Cal, they're meant to look like that. They hold in what needs to be held in."

"Nothing needs to be held in. I told you, you're a stunner," Cal reminded Gil, dropping the underwear on the floor.

"Alright," Gill agreed with a smile. She walked over to their wardrobe and opened Cal's side. Ten minutes later there was nothing left in his half of the closet... well, more like his quarter-to-a-third of the closet. Gill had a lot of clothes. "Got it!" she declared triumphantly, finally deciding on a tie. "You wore this tie to Alec and my wedding," she told him.

"No argument. Out it goes," Cal confirmed, taking it from Gill and tossing it in the Goodwill pile. He crossed to Gill's clothes then and carefully started looking through them. Eventually, he pulled out a white sweater with a stain on the right shoulder. Gill's face fell. "This one," he decided.

"No," Gill argued.

"Come on, Gill," Cal smiled. "Look, it's got a stain on it, love."

"I said no, Cal." Her voice was cold.

"I let you throw things out, you have to be fair. This game can't just suit you when things are going your way. You can wash the stain out then we'll give it to charity." He moved to dump it in the dirty clothes in the ensuite, but didn't make it more than two steps before Gill was up off the bed, snatching it from him angrily.

"I said no, Cal! What part of that don't you understand?" She yelled at him. _Really_ yelled at him for the first time since they'd met.

Cal was too stunned to say anything at first. He stopped and stared at Gill, his mouth agape. "I..."

"Get out," she told him angrily, holding the sweater to her chest and pointing at the door. He didn't move as fast as she'd have liked. "Go!"

Cal quickened his steps and closed the door behind him, standing and staring at it. _'Bloody hell. What just happened?' _he wondered. It was a damn sweater, she was acting like he'd asked her to put Finn in a sack and drown him! He stepped away from the door, the harshness of her words still leaving him stunned.


	37. Words He Never Thought He'd Say

_Houston, we have a problem... I've been rationing these out as best I can, but I've been too swamped with uni work to write and I'm almost out of Chapters I'd prepared in advance! I was going to leave this another day or two, but I was prompted to post one this morning and I ended up giving in- I don't want the natives getting restless. Anyway, here we go..._

Cal tried to go into their bedroom several times that afternoon, and again the evening, each time being ordered out by a severely emotional and extremely pissed off Gill, who hadn't let go of the sweater the whole time. Dinner time came around and he tried to offer her some food, only to be told she wasn't hungry. When he came in to go to bed he was told to go to hell. The spare room was actually looking inviting.

He laid awake for hours that night, going over what had happened in his head. He couldn't work out why Gill cared so much about a sweater. It was ridiculous. Frankly, he didn't even feel sorry for her at this stage, he was just pissed off. She'd treated him like dirt over something so trivial, and he didn't know what had gotten into her. All he knew was that he'd never seen this side of his usually sweet, loving wife, and he sure as hell didn't want to see it again. Eventually he was overcome by exhaustion and fell asleep.

Cal woke the next morning when the sun came in through the open blinds, groaning. Monday. At least it wasn't raining anymore. He got out of bed and went downstairs to make coffee, praying that if he took some to Gill he'd find her in a better mood than last night. A soft knock on their bedroom door told him he was out of luck. "Go away," Gill told him. Her voice was quieter than the night before, and she sounded exhausted.

"I've got coffee, love," he informed her. "And we need to get clothes out so we can get ready for work." He ventured into their bedroom and his face fell when he saw Gill sitting where he'd left her the night before, her eyes puffy and red and her skin pale. "Didn't you sleep?" he asked her.

"Leave me alone."

"Gill, it's a bloody sweater," Cal said, losing his patience. "Throw the damn thing out or wash it. I don't care what you do with it, but you're acting like a child. This was your game, and your rules."

"You're a bastard," she told him. Her voice was laced with venom.

Cal sighed and set both lots of coffee down. "Give me the damn sweater."

"No," Gill insisted.

"Fine. Don't. You know what, you keep acting like this. I like it, actually. It's just like being married to Zoe, only with tears, too." He regretted it as soon as he'd said it.

Gill glared. "I hate you," she told him.

Part of him believed it. He ignored it anyway. He wasn't going to indulge her when she was acting like this. "Pull yourself together, we've got to go to work."

"I'm not going," Gill informed him.

"You have meetings."

"I don't care. Reschedule them."

"So you hate me, but I'm good enough to play secretary for you when you want to sit at home and sulk? You know what, don't even answer that. If you're going to treat clients the way you're treating me, it's probably best you do stay at home." He picked up some of his clothes from where they'd been left discarded on the floor then disappeared into the ensuite to get ready for work. Half an hour later he re-emerged. Gill still hadn't moved. She didn't look at him. "Have a nice day, darling," he told her. He was unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, and ended up dodging a cushion Gill through at him in another fit of rage. "F-ing hell," he muttered under his breath, glad she'd chosen the cushion and not a lamp or something more dangerous. He closed the door behind him and went back downstairs, making sure Finn was taken care of before he left for the day.

That night he arrived home late. For the first time since they'd met, Cal worked back with the intention of avoiding Gill. Letting himself into the house, he took a quick look around. The lights were all still off. Turning a few on, he made his way to find Finn, who was still where he'd been left that morning, telling Cal that Gill was probably where she'd been left, too. He fed Finn and spent some time playing with him, really not looking forward to finding out what he was going to have to face upstairs. Eventually, though, he knew he had to bite the bullet and go, so he armed himself with chocolate pudding and went up with the intention of making peace.

When he let himself into the room, Gill was still on the bed, but she was laying on her side now. She didn't say a word, so he walked in and set the pudding on the nightstand where she could see it. "Feeling better, love?" he asked, his tone almost timid. She ignored him. "You haven't moved. When was the last time you ate?"

"I had to use the bathroom earlier," Gill told him. Her voice was hoarse. She'd obviously been crying.

"Okay, so you've moved," Cal deduced. "I brought you some pudding."

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat, love," he told her gently, reaching out to stroke her hair only to have her pull away. Cal was past being pissed off now. This was not just a temper tantrum over not getting her way (something he should have realised to begin with), there was something seriously wrong. "Gill, I'm worried about you. What's going on here?" he asked.

She sniffed her sweater. "You're insensitive."

"It's a sweater."

"See? I was right."

"I don't have a bloody clue what's going on," he admitted defeat. "Help me out, love. I want to understand. I don't want to see you upset, I love you."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Gill, you _always _want to talk about it," Cal argued. It was the psychiatrist in her, he was sure. She refused to argue, ignoring him instead. "Do you want me to stay here, or leave you alone?" he asked. "I could hold you if you like." He was trying his best to accommodate her. He hated seeing her hurting, and knowing he couldn't fix it only made it worse. Gill shrugged and Cal bent over, staying well away from the sweater, to press a kiss to her forehead. "I love you," he told her gently. "Whatever you're going through I'm here for you."

Cal stood up then, moving quietly around the room as he picked up the clothes they'd taken out of the closet the night before. He hung everything neatly with the coat hangers all facing the same way, the way Gill liked it. An hour later, when Gill still hadn't moved, Cal left the room and got himself some dinner, taking it up to sit with her while he ate. Sometime between his first and last mouthful she'd finally fallen asleep, and Cal was sure it was the first time she'd slept since the whole drama had begun.

The next morning when they woke Cal could tell Gill was still upset. She hadn't said a word, but at least she hadn't kicked him out of bed again. He walked downstairs and went through an old stack of business cards, pulling out one he'd had used for quite some time. There was a cell phone number written on the back, which he dialled reluctantly. The person on the other end answered, identifying themself by name, and Cal uttered words he never thought he'd say. They taste bitter coming from his mouth, vile even, but this is bigger than him and his distaste for the person on the other end of the line, and more important to him than his pride. "Alec? It's Cal Lightman. I think I need your advice."


	38. Wordlessly

_Short and sweet, but at least it offers some resolution. _

Cal explained the situation to Alec, who was unimpressed at being asked how to cheer his ex-wife up. "I need a shower," he told Cal. "I'll come over and talk to her."

Cal fought the urge to tell him he wasn't bloody welcome in his house, biting his tongue. "You can't just tell me what's wrong?" he asked.

"I'll be there in three quarters of an hour," Alec said quietly, hanging up.

Cal paced nervously while he waited for Alec to arrive. He didn't know what he'd gotten himself into now. Alec seemed to know what was going on, but Cal was still well and truly in the dark. He was so desperate to make Gill feel better, though, that he was willing to risk letting Alec near her. He'd do anything to fix this. He was startled by a knock on the door, and opened it to find Alec standing there in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. "Ah... Come in," Cal told him, stepping aside. This was bloody awkward.

"Thanks," Alec said politely. He wasn't feeling too comfortable about this, either. "Where is she?" he asked.

"Bedroom. I'll tell her you're here," Cal said, making for the stairs.

"It's okay, I'll go to her," Alec decided.

Cal cringed and wanted to protest- he didn't want his wife's ex-husband in their bedroom! He swallowed his pride, though, and showed Alec the way. He knocked quietly and peeked inside to make sure she was presentable before he opened the door and Alec entered the room. Gill sat up a little, visibly surprised. "Alec, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Cal called me," he told her. "I can take it form here," he said, effectively dismissing Cal.

Cal bristled. Smug bastard. He glanced at Gill then left, not at all happy when Alec closed the door behind him. The lie detection expert paced back and forth up the corridor for a full hour before Alec re-emerged. To his surprise, Cal saw Gill behind him, the white sweater folded neatly and draped over her left arm, rather than clutched to her chest. She walked him downstairs to show him out, hugging him and whispering something in his ear before he left.

Cal felt useless. He'd tried for almost 40 hours and gotten nothing. Alec had fixed whatever it was in a fraction of the time. "Feeling better, love?" he asked quietly, not wanting Gill to see he was wallowing in self-loathing right now.

Gill nodded slightly and gave Cal a soft kiss on the cheek before walking into the bedroom and putting the sweater away carefully. "I need a shower," she informed him.

"Alright, love," Cal agree, still speaking. He still had no idea what was going on. He got his laptop out while he was waiting for her, and sat on the bed. Sighing, he opened up his email and watched as the previous night's communications filtered into his inbox. A few minutes into reading, a new message came through, and Cal switched windows to see who it was from. 'Alec Foster' the sender box read. The email contained an image attachment, and Cal opened it up. It was a photo of Sophie and, although her face wasn't in the picture, the woman holding her was clearly Gill. Gill was wearing the white sweater, with what appeared to be a fresh stain on it. Baby puke. Cal checked the date stamp. 16th July, 2008. His heart sank and a lump rose in his throat as he stared at it wordlessly. Gill was right, he was a bastard. That was day 57.

_A/N: I have to admit, I'm surprised more of you didn't catch on! I'd been concerned that it was incredibly predictable!_


	39. Words of Agreement

_Okay, so it's been a long time between chapters. I know. Blah- blah, writer's block, blah-blah uni work (didn't stop me from writing 'Compartmentalization'). Excuses don't get chapters published! Anyway, here we go. I can't guarantee when the next one will be up, I'm out of my back-logged ones and I have a statistics exam early next week._

Cal didn't know what to say when Gill came out of the bathroom. He'd sent Heidi, Loker and Torres an email each to let them know that neither he nor Gill would be in that day, claiming he was going to look after her as she still wasn't well from the day before. He glanced up at his wife, the blank facial expression he wore as a mask firmly in place. He didn't know how much she wanted him to know, or if she wanted to talk about it.

Gill smiled weakly, obviously exhausted. Her hair was wet, but she'd brushed it, and she was wearing a comfortable pair of cotton slacks and an old Duke University t-shirt that showed just a hint of skin between the bottom of the shirt and the top of her pants. She walked over to the bed then and crawled on next to Cal, laying down and wrapping her arms around him, praying that after the way she'd been acting he'd return the gesture. She needn't have worried, his arms found his way around her body and he pulled her to him protectively and suddenly everything felt like it was going to be alright. "Why did you call Alec?" she asked quietly. She wasn't upset with him, she was more curious than anything.

Cal inhaled deeply. Gill smelled like soap and conditioner. "I didn't know what else to do," he admitted. "Obviously there was more to it than what I was seeing. I thought he might have known what you were going through, and I guess he did."

"That must have been hard for you," Gill acknowledged. "I'm sorry I put you through that, and made you feel like it was your only option."

"It's alright, love," Cal assured her softly. "I wanted you to feel better, and if Alec was the only person who could get you there then I wasn't going to let my ego get in the way... I hope you don't mind, I emailed work and told them you still weren't feeling good and I was going to stay home to look after you. If you want your space I can stay downstairs."

Gill tightened her grip on Cal. "No. Don't you dare go anywhere," she told him just as softly, snuggling in even closer. "I don't need to be alone. I need my husband."

"I'm sorry I was such a bastard," Cal apologised. "It took me a long time to realise there was actually a problem and you weren't just being stubborn." He should have known better, should have looked closer. He must have missed something.

"Please don't apologise," Gill requested. "Not after the way I treated you. I just..."

Cal rested a finger lightly over Gill's lips. "We don't have to talk about it now," he whispered. "I do think we should find somewhere safer to keep your sweater, though. It obviously means a lot to you." He didn't say he knew why. Gill would tell him if and when she wanted to.

"That's probably a good idea," Gill agreed. She could hear Cal's heartbeat while her head was resting on his shoulder, and she found it soothing. "Where's Finn?" she asked.

"Downstairs, love. You weren't too keen on company last I checked." He wasn't accusing her or getting mad, just calmly stating a fact.

"He's probably dying for cuddles by now," Gill mused, guilt seeping in as she realised she'd neglected him, too.

"Should we go down and see?" Cal suggested. "You can do your thing with him for a while and I'll make you some eggs or something. You must be starving." He didn't want to ask if she'd taken her medication yesterday. It seemed inappropriate.

"I'm really not hungry," Gill insisted, earning a head shake from Cal.

"You've gotta eat, love. Just a couple of mouthful to start with. One scrambled egg. After that if you don't want any more I won't push, I promise."

"Okay," Gill agreed quietly, nodding her head and dragging herself away from Cal and off the bed. "I have to take my medication, too," she remembered. "Don't worry, I did it yesterday."

Cal stood and walked over so his hand was resting on Gill's lower back. "I'm not worried," he told her. "I know you'll do whatever's right for us, no matter what that is." It would have been stupid and wasteful for Gill to give up now, but if she'd felt she couldn't deal with it emotionally Cal would have understood and supported her until she felt she was ready to start again.

Gill linked her fingers with Cal's and held his hand as they walked downstairs. "I'll be right back," she promised, giving the hand she was holding a squeeze then walking off to bring Finn into the kitchen. He was getting big these days, and she couldn't help but smile when he jumped up on her excitedly, a habit she usually discouraged. "How's mummy's little boy?" she asked, bending down to fuss over him. "How's my handsome wittle boy? Did you miss your mummy? She's very sorry, baby," she continued to fuss over him, scratching behind his ears and then rubbing his stomach when he rolled over for it. "Where's Dada?" she prompted him. "Go find Dada." Finn ran into the kitchen, easily locating Cal, and sat down by his feet. When Gill entered the kitchen a few seconds later she showered him with praise.

Cal turned around to watch Gill then, smiling. "It's good to see you smile again, love," he told her. "Finn's good for us, you know. I'm glad you bought him."

"Me too," Gill agreed, straightening up and walking to the sink to wash her hands. "Cal, there's something I want to talk to you about," she told him, her tone quite serious. She didn't sound angry or sad, which Cal saw as a bonus. They could have a serious conversation without it being overly emotional.

"Alright, love," Cal replied, pulling a plate out of the cupboard then carefully putting Gill's breakfast on it- as promised, a single scrambled egg. He really hoped she'd eat more.

Gill took the plate and thanked her husband, sitting down at the kitchen table and waiting for him to join her before she spoke. "I think..." she looked down at her breakfast, pushing it around with her fork before picking up a small mouthful and eating it. "Maybe we should put our names down with some of those adoption agencies you looked into. The last few days have reminded me exactly how much losing Sophie hurt, but they also made me think back over the time I had with her, and I honestly don't think I'd ever felt so... complete. It probably sounds stupid to you, and I can't explain why, but I just feel like by not having a child there's part of me that's missing, and no matter how happy I am with you, nothing's ever going to fill that hole in me but another baby."

"I don't think that sounds stupid," Cal said gently, honestly surprised to hear Gill talking about adoption when she'd just spent a day and a half crying her eyes out over losing Sophie. Maybe she just needed that time to grieve- God knows she'd never really had that properly with Alec, he'd always forced her to keep it to herself. "Does it mean you want to stop the fertility treatments, though?"

Gill shook her head. "No. I still want to try this, but I want to keep our options open. I want to be a mother, regardless of who gives birth to the child we end up raising, and I think we should do whatever we can to make that happen."

Cal leant over the table and kissed Gill's forehead. "You're an incredible woman, Gillian Lightman," he told her. "You've already been an amazing role model and second mother to Emily. Our son or daughter's going to be exceptionally lucky to have you as their mother."

Gill smiled shyly, reaching out to rub Cal's arm affectionately. "Are you going to finish your breakfast, or am I going to have to get in some early practice at making choo-choo noises?" Cal asked her with a grin.

"I'm sorry, what?" Gill asked, an amused grin on her face.

Cal reached over and picked up her fork, loading it up with a small mouthful of eggs and then raising it up to about mouth-height. "Open up for the train." He moved it about a food away from Gill's mouth, then started making train noises as he moved it closer. "Chooga-chooga, chooga-chooga, chooga-chooga, chooga-chooga... Whoo! Whoo!"

Gill laughed, eating the eggs of the fork Cal was feeding her with. "Oh, God, that's fantastic," she said, tears in her eyes from how hard she was laughing. She'd never seen Cal like this before.

"Oh, that's just the beginning of my repertoire, love," he informed his wife with a broad grin. "I also do rocket ships, aeroplanes, race cars... a Toyota Prius"

Gill chuckled. "Okay, how's that one go?" she asked, opening her mouth and waiting for more food.

Cal grinned and picked up the fork, repeating the motion from before without the sound.

Gill ate the forkful of eggs, looking puzzled. "You didn't make any noise."

"I know. Have you heard my car? It's bloody next to silent. Sometimes at the lights I have to stop and see if it's still turned on," he smirked.

Gillian laughs again, shaking her head. "Oh my..." Cal's behaviour may have seemed out of character to an outsider, but she'd come to know him as someone who could be funny and goofy when he wanted to be, especially when it came to parenting. She really couldn't wait to see him with their child.

Cal leans over and kisses Gill's cheek. "I think we should slow down for a month or two."

"What do you mean?" the brunette asked, finishing off the last of the egg Cal had made her.

"I think maybe we should stop trying for a while. I'm worried you might feel like I manipulated you into this, and I think you deserve to have some time to grieve properly... Y'know, over Sophie." He hoped that wouldn't upset her again.

"Cal, you didn't manipulate me," Gillian told him. "You might have given me a bit of a wake-up call, but from my perspective it's only manipulation if you'd never had any intention of going ahead with the procedure. As for Sophie... I don't know. Maybe it's just because I'm tired, but I feel a bit better about it after the last day or so. Maybe I just needed to have a good cry." The brunette shrugged. "I didn't really get that when Alec and I were still together. First he shut me out and refused to talk about it, then he started with the drugs, and I ended up focussing my attention on looking after him instead of dealing with my feelings... To be honest, I'm surprised he came and talked to me today. Right now I just want to move forward."

"Forward..." 

"Yes. Forward. I want to keep trying to conceive and put our names down with adoption agencies. Is that what you want?" Gillian asked. Maybe Cal was putting the brakes on because he'd changed his mind.

"Absolutely. I can't think of anything I'd rather do," Cal replied emphatically, his words of agreement making Gill smile.


	40. Gibberish Words

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lie to Me or any of the show's characters. And that's the truth._

_Okay, I know it's been a while, and I keep promising some of you more regular updates. Hopefully because I've left a bit of mystery here and something to be revealed it'll flow onto another chapter very soon. Not a particularly inspired chapter, but I promise there are better things to come!_

Later that afternoon Gillian decides she needs another nap, and Cal thinks it's a good idea to give her a little space. He kisses his wife softly then heads out, mumbling a vague explanation about 'man stuff' on his way out the door. Gill shakes her head and smiles, amused. She expects he's going to whatever local watering hole is playing the World Cup on the big screen, and she leaves it at that. Heading upstairs, Gill changes and slips into bed, sleep coming almost instantly.

Cal makes a few stops while he's out, gathering the supplies he'll need for his latest project. It's been a while since he's gotten his hands dirty, but he hopes the effort will be appreciated. He unloads the car, taking his latest acquisitions into the garage, where he has a workbench. He backs Gill's car out then, giving himself some extra room, and sets to work. When he heads inside a short time later he runs into a bleary-eyed Gillian who's making her way downstairs in the same pyjama pants and t-shirt as she had on earlier, rubbing her eyes gently. "What on earth are you doing down here?" she asks tiredly, following Cal into the kitchen.

"Man stuff," Cal informs Gillian again, getting himself a glass from the cupboard near the sink then filling it with cold water and draining it quickly.

Gillian quirks an eyebrow. "Man stuff," she repeats, letting the words linger. "Man stuff makes you smell like sawdust. I thought you were going to watch the game with some friends."

Cal shakes his head. "Nah, love, bigger fish to fry. I'll catch the replay a bit later, though."

"Right..." Gill's intrigued now, but doesn't want to pry. If Cal wanted her to know what 'man stuff' consisted of he'd have told her by now. At least if there was sawdust involved then unless there was a tragic accident it wasn't going to affect his reproductive capabilities, unlike his last 'secret mission'. "What if I make a roast for dinner?" she offers. "Some nice chicken, baked vegetables, gravy..." She feels a little guilty about the last few days. While her physical presence hasn't been lacking, her mental one has, and it's time for her to check back in to their relationship- it was never her intention to check out.

Cal smiles. "Sounds good. Do you need a hand?"

"No thanks, I've got it," Gillian replies. "Plus, you have 'man stuff' to take care of, right?"

Cal chuckles. "That I do," he agrees, putting his glass in the sink then kissing Gill's cheek. "I love you. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Me too," Gill smiles, stroking Cal's arm gently. "Thanks for looking after me." Cal starts to tell her he didn't really do much, but she silences him with a gentle finger to his lips, then a quick kiss. "You're a good man, Cal Lightman."

Cal shrugs. "My intentions are good, I don't know about the rest."

Gill smiles. "Have fun with your stuff. I'll let you know when dinner's ready, okay?"

Cal nods and smiles, stealing one final kiss before disappearing into the garage again, his noise resuming not much later.

Gill moves about the kitchen then, getting dinner prepared and in the oven. What on earth is he doing? She knows he has tools out there, but she's never had a husband who actually _used _them. Alec had a screwdriver and maybe a hammer- or at least she thought he did. He'd never really done anything around the house that gave an indication he was handy. Gill suspected he feared breaking a nail- he wasn't the most masculine of men, even at the best of times, and he certainly hadn't exhibited any signs of being capable of fixing anything that required more technical or practical knowledge than replacing batteries in the remote control for the television or changing a light globe. Alec had talents and redeeming qualities, but being handy was not one of them.

Gill thinks back over what she's heard so far. She knows she's heard power tools, but she doesn't know which ones. She's pretty sure that while she was upstairs in bed she'd been able to hear the faint sound of a hand saw, and she knows Cal smelt like sawdust. Whatever he was up to involved wood. A quick glance around the kitchen and living room tells her that all of their furniture is safe. For now. What else does she know? She's heard the occasional curse word, but that doesn't help. Terri Marsh's father was a carpenter, and she knows Cal had helped him from time to time in an attempt to help earn his keep. That's much more useful. So, if he isn't fixing something that they already have, he must be making something new. Gillian doesn't have a clue what, though. She sighs, hoping that she doesn't have to wait too long to find out.

The brunette sits down then, deciding to give Finn some much-needed attention while she waits for dinner to be ready. She picks up a brush and sits on the floor with him, brushing his coat out. "You're my handsome boy, aren't you?" she asks the dog, scratching gently behind his ears. "Mummy's sorry she hasn't been very good at cuddles and attention over the last few days, but she'll make it up to you. We'll go on an extra long walk tomorrow, and get you a nice big bone... Do you know what Daddy's up to in the garage? He's making a lot of noise, isn't he?" Finn looks up at Gillian then rests his head in her lap, thoroughly enjoying the attention, even if he has no idea what on earth she's going on about. Her words are just gibberish to him.


	41. Not Her Words

_Disclaimer: I do not own Lie to Me, Cal Lightman, Gillian Foster or Alec Foster. If I did own Alec Foster, I 'd kick his sorry behind for doing what he did to Gill. That is all._

Gillian smiles as she sits down at her desk, picking a card off the flowers she's just received. Cal was so darn cute sometimes! The large bouquet of lilies on her desk were just delivered and Gillian is eager to see what Cal has written this time. She opens the envelope and takes the card out, preparing to read it. Her eyes widen, her jaw drops and her eyebrows raise slightly in surprise.

_Gill,_

_Hope you're feeling better._

_Alec._

She puzzles over it briefly. Alec sent her flowers? Alec sent her flowers. Normally she'd have thrown them out, but Alec's intentions seemed innocent enough. He wasn't asking for anything, and he wasn't being obnoxious, he was just making a gesture. Of course he still cared about her on some level, they had been married- happily, too- for a lot longer than she'd known Cal. They'd had a daughter together, albeit briefly, and shared part of their lives with each other.

"_Alec, cut it out," Gillian laughed, bringing her shoulder up to her ear to block his attempts at kissing her neck. "I'm trying to work."_

"_I know what you're trying to do," Alec smiled. "And I'm trying to get you to relax. Come on, Gillian, you can't work all day every day, it's not healthy. You need to get away from the computer and socialize. With people. People like me. Remember me? Your loving boyfriend who's been waiting around your apartment all day in the hopes that I'll get even fifteen minutes of your attention?" he asked playfully._

_Gillian sighed, turning away from the computer to face Alec. "If I keep taking breaks I'm never going to finish my PhD..."_

"_If you don't take a break you're going to burn out before you get a chance to finish your PhD. Come on, Gill, please?" he requested hopefully. "I know it's important, but you need this."_

"_Fine," she relented with a smile. "But only because you're adorable when you look hopeful like that."_

_Alec smiled back, kissing Gillian's cheek. "Come on," he said. "You need to get out of your room." He took her by the hand then and led her out into the living room of her apartment, which he'd obviously cleaned thoroughly- a task which, even though she was normally a neat freak, Gillian had neglected in favour of her research lately._

"_You cleaned for me.." she commented happily, looking up at Alec._

"_I did. I also did your ironing. And I cooked," he informed her, leading Gillian towards the tiny kitchen table. He'd found a clean table cloth and some candles, and there was a single red rose in a vase on the table._

"_Oh, Alec..." Gillian gasped quietly. Granted, her apartment could probably safely be compared to a shoebox in size, but Alec's efforts to take care of details that were important to Gillian and that she had been unable to address really meant a lot to her. Then for him to go to the trouble of cooking and setting the table nicely... It wasn't a huge gesture, but it meant the world to her._

"_Madame... Your table awaits," Alec told her, leading Gillian to the table then pulling her chair out for her. "Wine?" he offered, picking up a bottle. When she nodded and thanked him he poured them each a glass then walked over to remove dinner from the oven. He carefully plated their meals then walked back over to the table, setting Gillian's plate down first, then his own. He took a seat then, watching as Gillian's eyes lit up at the site of a salmon fillet on her plate, along with some fresh vegetables. Salmon was one of her favourites._

"_Alec, you can't afford..."_

"_Gill, relax," Alec cut her off. "You deserve a treat." Between his student loan, car loan, rent and the miserable starting salary at his job Alec was far from wealthy. He got by, but only just, and Gillian knew that. She was in a similar situation, still studying and trying to work enough to keep a roof over her head and food on the table. They were both struggling now, but they knew in time that things would get better._

_Gillian nodded and thanked Alec quietly and they both fell into easy conversation over dinner and a bottle of wine. When it came time for dessert Alec produced a chocolate cake from Gillian's favourite patisserie, and if she hadn't been impressed with his cleaning, ironing and cooking earlier, she was certainly happy with him now! When the meal was complete Alec insisted on clearing the plates while Gillian sat on the couch with the last of the wine. When he returned he seemed nervous, and Gillian tilted her head to the side, a concerned expression on her face. "Is everything alright, honey?" she asked._

_"Everything's fine. Perfect," Alec said, sitting down next to her and discretely wiping his slightly-sweaty palms on his pants before taking one of Gill's hands in his. "Gillian... Gill... Since I met you my life has changed dramatically. I wake up every morning now and look forward to getting out of bed to face the day. Every time the phone rings I rush to answer it in case it's you. Sometimes I'll be in the middle of a conversation and space out with a goofy smile on my face because my mind has wandered to you. You're smart, funny, sweet, loving, gentle, intelligent, and the most amazing woman I have ever met."_

_Gillian's eyes were fixed on Alec. She was sure she knew what was coming, and her heart was racing. She hadn't been expecting this at all! Of course she loved him and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but this was a complete surprise._

"_I look at you, and I know that you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know I don't have much right now, but I promise you that I'll keep working to make sure you have everything you'll ever need, and as much of what you want as I can possibly afford. I just want to be with you, have a family with you, care for you..." he shifted nervously then and reached into his pocket, moving down off the couch and onto one knee. He pulled out a box then and opened it, revealing a ring. "Gill, will you make me the happiest man alive and be my wife?"_

_Of course, Gillian had said yes, and Alec had breathed a giant sigh of relief, slipping the ring onto her finger with still slightly shaky hands. They'd each called their parents to tell them the good news, then Gillian had kissed Alec, gazing into his eyes. "Would you like to stay tonight?" she offered. He'd slept at Gillian's a few times before, but that's all they'd done- slept. There was something in her voice, though, and the way that she was looking at him, and he knew that tonight was going to be different._

_Gillian led Alec into her bedroom, closing the door and ignoring her computer completely. She kissed him softly and he held her in his arms, lifting a hand to brush her hair back off her face and cup her cheek. "Are you sure?" he asked gently as she started to undress him and Gillian nodded._

"_I love you, and I want this. I'm ready," she assured him. They made love for the first time then, and Alec had held Gillian in his arms all night, talking and planning their future until she fell asleep and then watching over her while she dreamed of white flowing dresses, a house in the suburbs and two children with Alec's eyes and her nose. When she woke the next morning Alec was still there, and that's where he remained the entire weekend, her research completely forgotten._

Gillian's thoughts snap back to the present then, and she shakes her head, clearing it of the image. There's no harm in enjoying the flowers, is there? She sets them on the small coffee table in her office so she can see them while she's working, slipping the card into the top drawer of her desk before resuming her work.

Cal arrives a short time later, coffee in hand and a cocky swagger in his step. He falters as he enters her office, his eyes falling on the flowers. "...I didn't order you flowers, love," he informs Gillian honestly. He'd love to take the credit for it, but the truth was he was up to something else. Something bigger.

"I know," Gill says gently, standing up to kiss Cal softly on the lips. "They're from Alec."

Even before she's opened her mouth to reply Cal's studying her, and it's not her words that make him nervous, it's the slightly dreamy look in her eyes.


End file.
